[elliemay]

After some years in therapy, my therapist and I were talking about some of the changes that I had undergone and the gradual, but profound sea change in my life over the years.

He really wanted me to put these changes to paper as a reminder to myself, should I (or more likely when I) come to doubt. He suggested that I write them as vows, promises to me.

• I will allow myself to experience kindness and be kind to myself and others.
• I have made a choice to open my heart to my experiences and those of others.
• I am here now, safe, a powerful adult with active agency. I choose to stay here.
• I will face hurt and disappointment with compassion. I will not hide, I will not disperse. I choose to stay whole.
• I know love and support.
• I will ask for help when I need or want it.
• I will forgive wholeheartedly and often.
• I will trust myself.

They've kind of been bubbling underneath for some time now. This first, and likely only homework assignment ever has been the best exercise I've done.
Moving into and staying with these has been hard, but oh so much easier than holding on so tightly and being afraid.

Looking at this list, I realize so clearly that these are things that others perhaps take for granted, but I really had to fight to get "to" them. A long hard fight and I'm winning.

[online user]

Wow! Awesome! Congratulations to you!

[darkrunner]

Elliemay,

Thank you for sharing those - they are amazing.

Well done on your hard work and all you've accomplished.

(((((((((((((Ellie)))))))))))))))

Thank you for sharing your list. How empowering to see all of those things right there in writing...with all of those "I will", "I am", "I Know"'s in front of them. There is so much vulnerability and openness and strength there, and I love it.

[disguise123]

goodwork!
Highfives to u (ok i know thats lame)
But really you have earnt it.

[WikidPissah]

awesome job!

Good for you, elliemay.

[SpiritRunner]

those are beautiful! I think I need to have a list like that, too.

[granite1]

your list is both amazing and beautiful a true reflection on who you are and have worked so hard to become.i really hope to be able to make a list like this some day.i hope you are allowing yourself to be truely proud of how far you have come