[rainbow8]

Sorry for starting two threads at once. I think EMDR is starting to work for me though it shakes me up. That's the idea! I almost cried, but the tears wouldn't come out. We talked about an incident from my childhood that was embarrassing for me. I don't think I'm going to share the details. I know I will have some insights about it all but I can't feel them yet. T didn't have anyone after me so she said we're going to finish it, which was so nice of her. So I had 2 hours, but only a little over an hour of EMDR. I felt calmer afterwards though the processing itself was intense.

At the beginning of the session, I told her about my thread. I asked if she had felt that way about her Ts. She said no, she didn't have my issues, but she understands how many people do. I wish she had said she went through it, but oh, well.

She said that one reason to be close to one's T is to learn how to have a relationship and to carry it over into other relationships. She gave some other reasons, but wouldn't you know it, I forgot what she said!!

When we did meditation/breathing, I told her that I found it hard to concentrate on my breathing and I was not relaxed! She said she knew that I wasn't! I was surprised. I thought I was faking it pretty well!! She said I need to practice the breathing and eventually I will be able to relax.

We looked at my fingerpaintings which dried, of course. I really like them and so does she. We didn't do any more painting today.

I wanted to post about my session, though I'm sure I'll have more insights about the EMDR tomorrow or the next day. Even though I had my eyes closed for most of the session, I still feel connected to my T.

Oh, in talking about the shame "stuff", and remembering the "poop" thread, we talked about a goal of having me be able to pee next to her in the bathroom!!! I don't think I told her about the thread, but I guess I can tell her almost everything now! Sorry if TMI but those are my issues--to not be embarrassed about stuff.

[granite1]

thanks for sharing your session rain.

[rainbow8]

Maybe I shouldn't have written that end part. Oh, well.

[granite1]

its all good

[rainbow8]

granite. I you. Thanks for your support.

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Sorry for starting two threads at once. I think EMDR is starting to work for me though it shakes me up. That's the idea! I almost cried, but the tears wouldn't come out.

Can you explain to me what EMDR is? Why do therapists use this technique?

[rainbow8]

http://www.emdr.com/briefdes.htm

Squiggle, I think this link will explain much better than I can.

[PTSDlovemycats]

Good luck with your pee with your T.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Oh, in talking about the shame "stuff", and remembering the "poop" thread, we talked about a goal of having me be able to pee next to her in the bathroom!!! I don't think I told her about the thread, but I guess I can tell her almost everything now! Sorry if TMI but those are my issues--to not be embarrassed about stuff.

in thinking about this subject more .if my T ever showed up in the stall next to me i would have to go so far as to accually sit on a public toilet seat so i would be able to lift my feet up so i could hidei wouldnt leave untill after she left and i would be so out of sorts durring session also.all just to huministic for me lol

[rainbow8]

Maybe I'm glad I brought it up, granite. Who ever thought T and I would be thinking about a field trip to the bathroom?! Never in a million years! I'm like you! Actually, in my first session we WERE there together, but it was tolerable because I didn't know her then. I don't have a problem with strangers, just people I know. I don't think this field trip is taking place for a while, though. It helps that my T is always asking where in my body I feel something, and when we do meditation she says "take a scan of your body" and things like that. I hate hearing that but I'm getting used to it. I even asked her yesterday if she has trouble saying "anatomy" words like I do, and she said "no." I guess she couldn't be helpful to me if we both did!

[granite1]

i so could see the conversation going something like this

T.You know,that part of your body

C. no i dont what?

T. You know, THAT part

C. ??????

i'm so sorry the idea of this conversation going like this is just making me crack up but i really needed to make light of things today.but want to let you know i you rain and know very well the pain you go through with your T and it is an on going journey and you have all the suport i can offer

[rainbow8]

Laughing is therapeutic, granite! Thanks. Your dialogue was really funny!

[WePow]

((((Rainbow)))) I have been thinking about your post and just not sure what to say really - except you are brave! I have issues with anyone being in the restroom with me. You made me VERY VERY VERY glad my T is a guy!!! But your post did remind me of an odd conversation my T had with a male client who was leaving when I got there. I don't like that client anyway because he is a big guy who stomps around and looks all snarly when he does see me. He acts like he owns my T or his area and I don't like him one bit. Never told my T that, but that is what I think when I do see him. Anyway, that guy was walking out and my T told me "Go on in, I need to run to the restroom and will be right back." That guys just about shouts and tells my T "Well I am going to the one right here. YOU go upstairs to that bathroom!"

Man - I wanted to jump on that guys back and rip his eyes out!

[with or without you]

Originally Posted by ptsdlovemycats

good luck with your pee with your t.

rofl :rotflmao:

[BethD1980]

I have issues peeing in public restrooms when theres someone else in there, theres NO way i could pee anywhere near T. her bathroom is in her house, i dont even think I could pee knowing she was in the house, something about people hearing me tinkle just gives me a mind block and I cant pee, no matter how bad I have to go .
good luck with that !
beth

[rainbow8]

Wow! Thanks for these responses about peeing, something I never thought I would discuss. I realize it's not such a unique problem, but it's part of a whole lot of shame and inhibitions I have, and I've wanted to work on these things, but never got very far with my other Ts. This time is different. I realize some people think it's TMI or think it's funny, but it's a serious issue for me. I like the humor, too, granite!!!!

Beth, thanks for sharing with me. I guess a lot of people have this problem. I always said I don't like physiology. But a friend will talk to me in a public bathroom and I hate that. She doesn't have a problem!! My T even told me yesterday that she and a colleague were talking while they were peeing. I hate using that word even. Why can't people say the real word, urinate? Like it's a bad word or something. I don't know. I hate all anatomy words!! It's all about shame!! Oh, why am I writing this?

[seventyeight]

hi rainbow,

i've been thinking about this thread, and i think it's really profound that on your first visit to your therapist's office - you just so happened to pee at the same time as her. i know you said it was different then (as she was a stranger), but i really think the universe is trying to tell you something! (yes, something about peeing with your therapist ) you've already done it!! so you already know that it's going to be ok - you won't be totally mortified or cringe out of shame - all you have to do is just do it again.

another idea i had, like maybe as a "warm up," would be to have your therapist pee next to you first, and that's it. then sit with that for a little while, process it, and then proceed to the next part of the exercise.

just some thoughts..

78

[rainbow8]

Thanks for taking this topic seriously, 78! I'm getting a little nauseous thinking about it right now, though your idea is a good one. It seems like too intimate, TMI, yukky.

[lastyearisblank]

Lol! You can have a contest for who can pee longer.

[rainbow8]

lyib, my T would win because I wouldn't be able to go at all. I know it's a funny subject, but it's really a serious issue for me.

Please, everyone-- no more funny comments, or start a new thread. I'd appreciate that very much. You're hurting my feelings and making me .

[lastyearisblank]

Oops don't mind me! Didn't read the part about not liking "that word" sorry rainbow. Hope no harm's done.

Btw I was partly kidding but not at you... I read somewhere that if you make a game out of the thing you're afraid of it's easier