about trust

I recently posted this
I've been thinking about this, and here's what I told T last week:
When I am not "in session", the thought of you scares me. You have so much power - I come in there and just hand over the keys to my deepest secrets - and you have the capability of using that power to hurt me more than anyone else ever could. You never have tried to use any of it against me, but the possibility is there (I was terrified to see that she nodded all through this). But, I continued, when come in here and I see you, and I interact with you, I'm not afraid of you. I may hesitate over things because of shame, or whatever, but not because of fear of you.

about this other person however.... when I'm only thinking of people in their position, it doesn't bother me at all; everything seems very good and very acceptable. But when I see this one, when I am one on one - no matter how innocuous the reason for the encounter - then I am afraid. And it's not just this one particular person, so that it would be a personal thing; it's anyone in a similar position, when I'm one on one.

She didn't say much. Now that she has had a week to think about it (if she ever gives me a thought outside of session), I think I may ask her about it again tonight.

Someone come with me? I feel like I am peering over the edge of a cliff into an abyss.

woot, road trip
*jumps into pocket*

(((((((((((((sawe)))))))))))))))

I'll come.

The abyss is scary because it's so dark, and we don't know what we'll find. T and I have compared it to laying in bed being afraid of the dark. We lay there and wonder what's lurking all around us. when we turn on the light, it's a little less scary and we can deal with what is there.

The light is less scary than the dark. Let T help you turn on the light.

Count me in!! It is a time for being honest 'round these parts. Hold onto yer hats!

i'm in.i'll be whispering "it's ok"

I might offer, but -- am I welcome? I might not be. I am "different". Some do not like that. Maybe they think I will push them over.

Scoot over everyone..... I'm in too!

ah - but will you? That's a question that only you can answer.

Do you think it is likely? A possibility?

you are being brave to face these things; I am with you too!

Ah, our "dark" side. You'll be closest so can be grabbed and taken with. I like the "other half" of myself with me when I go exploring scary concepts.

I think we have to trust ourselves first and well before we can trust others fully.

Ah, but how do you like the "other half" of other people?

No woman is an island entire of herself. . .

Pernaspeak.

and the next exchange goes like this:

SAWE: why do you always answer a question with a question?
Pachy: do I do that?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
No woman is an island entire of herself. . .
hijacked again, I see.

Sounds like T?

Sorry for the hijack (I guess). Just get carried away sometimes. I do that so that people may start to think, and not just give answers they think I want.

thanks to all of you who volunteered to come with me for support, I am going to need it. Things get so hard sometimes.