As we are all very aware of, therapy is hard work! It is one of the most grueling things I have ever been through. There is so much fear, anxiety, pain, hurt, embarrassment, humiliation, anger, frustration, discouragment, guilt, shame, overwhelmed, confusion, etc...

I could go on and on about all the negative emotions that I feel while in therapy. I want to learn to focus more on the positive ones. What are 3 negative emotions you experience the most? What are 3 positive ones you experience?

I also struggle with wanting to quit therapy just about session. How often do you feel this way? What do you tell yourself that keeps you going?

I feel like I am two different people. The person I am while in therapy mode and the person I am in real life. They are very different! Do you ever feel like you have some kind of split personality? I feel like I have my professional side and my "I think I am losing my mind" side!

It feels like there is such a battle going on within me. I want to find some peace. But how can I do that when I keep stirring up all the negative emotions/feelings from past issues? How can I find peace when I am constantly thinking about all the things that are 'wrong' with me? How can I find peace in the midst of turmoil?

I just want to be happy

[Can't Stop Crying]

I think a lot about quitting therapy - I think that is the fear talking. I know it really helps me, even the tough sessions. I can relate to the split person - the only place I truly let my guard down is in therapy so I feel like I'm a vulnerable, exposed, basket case in there. I have a hard time after sessions putting on my stoic face for the world with everything so raw at the surface. I understand the battle too. I wish everything would just go away, but I know the only way out is through and sometimes that thought really sucks!

[WePow]

Usually, when I want to end therapy it is because I am running away from the pain I am needing to face. Pain stinks... Pain hurts... My way of dealing with most pain has always been to run. So bad emotions would be angry, raw, exposed

Being in therapy though lets me face those things in a healthy way. When I want to run, I end up with an extra session. By doing that, I walk head first into the fear rahter than running from it. Because I am in therapy to CHANGE myself - so I can be a healthier person - standing my ground in the midst of anguish is what I have to do.
So my good emotions are pride in myself, joy in overcomming, and grace.

((((((((((((((squiggle))))))))))))))

My three negative words would be: fear, exposed, shame

My three positive words would be: trust, acceptance, love

Those are just the first three that popped into my head for each list...there are many, many more!

The times when I would want to run were usually the times when I felt those three negative words the most...the most fear, the most exposed, the most shame. But I always, ALWAYS made myself go anyway, and I was always met with the three positive words..trust, acceptance, and love. And the amazing thing is, in the end, the positive have won out, hands down. When I think back at my therapy, the trust, acceptance and love are what stand out...not the hard sessions, or the scary stuff. That stuff is so so so hard while we are going through it, but there is so much healing in letting out the poison, and letting the good things flow into take its place.

Lots of , squiggle. Therapy is hard!

[elliemay]

I think the fact that we want to quit therapy so often indicates that we are more normal than we think. I means for heaven's sake who wouldn't want to quit therapy and face all that!

I most often want to quit therapy when I'm angry (read fearful) or when I write him a check. I pay full price up front and get partial reimbursement from my insurance.

All I can say is that if you want to start talking in therapy - pay full price!

The most common negative emotions I've experienced are shame, fear, and anger.

The most common positive ones are joy, peace, and confidence.

I can promise you that you aren't losing your mind and the person you are in therapy is not that different from your professional side. They are a lot more similar than they are different. Try not to isolate the "therapy person".

[SpiritRunner]

3 negative words/thoughts/feelings? fear, shame, unwillingness......and I am ashamed of the unwillingness. I want to overcome the pain in me and release it, yet am so afraid to truly feel it. also afraid to truly let go of it, because I feel like I might feel bereft, as if a part of me I know so well and am attached to will be gone, and what will be in its place?! it is like pain, and its friend shame, is my friend, a toxic one I know, but still a friend I am close to and having a hard time being willing to let go of.......How odd this sounds, I know!
3 postive words/thoughts/feelings? trust, compassion, grace.....gifts from T, gifts of therapy, really. I have seen I can trust her compassion, and her compassion toward me and her grace toward me, even knowing the depths and darkness in me, is helping me learn more compassion on myself. I am learning to trust, that it is OK and safe to trust. I am learning to trust in grace, too.....and to feel it.

[Elli-Beth]

I'm still new to therapy, so I haven't reached the point of wanting to quit yet. Negative would be fear and shame, but positive would be peace and hope. (Maybe after longer I'll be able to come up with a third?)

[ljp1979]

I wanted to quit after the second appointment, then after third, then after fifth, then after..... I have severe anxiety 24-48hours before the therapy, I am actually feeling anxious typing this and thinking about therapy. I feel like I was better off with my feelings hidden and living this pretend life - everything is OK, I am all happy. Obviously, I was not able to fake it forever and eventually broke down. I am embarrassed, ashamed, scared during my sessions, and I don't like that. So I want to quit. But I know quitting will get me nowhere... Feels like a hamster in a wheel...

[maggyjo]

Because I am with a new T I don't have much for positive yet.

I can really relate with the split personality, part of me really wants to get better but part of me wants to stay right here.

I think the big neg. for me is the fear, shame and being rejected-turned away. If I can count that as a feeling.

MaggyJo

[rainbow8]

I have to admit something most of you know about me already! I NEVER ever want to quit therapy!!! That's my main issue. I've never thought about quitting therapy, though I quit several Ts.

Negative feelings come up, of course.

Shame
Disappointment
Dependency

Positive feelings:

Love
Satisfaction
Safety

I've never actually wanted to quit therapy other than just to move on with my life. I've always found therapy a very positive experience. I quess my positive words would be honesty, acceptance, and comfort. Sometimes therapy is hard (stressful, uncomfortable, anxiety-making), but I've never been tempted to quit therapy because of the discomfort. It's therapy. It's going to be uncomfortable at times. But it always comes around to introspection and learning. I will be comfortable and confident enough to leave therapy eventually; that's my goal. If I run from it, I'm just delaying reaching that goal.

[granite1]

my words would be fear anger shame
good words would be,quiet,honesty

i seem to always have what i call my friday panic.i always seem to start getting scared about going to T without fail.i always go anyway bad feelings about it and all

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

I feel like I am two different people. The person I am while in therapy mode and the person I am in real life. They are very different! Do you ever feel like you have some kind of split personality? I feel like I have my professional side and my "I think I am losing my mind" side!

I totally understand the split you are feeling. Getting better involves integrating your personality. When we are growing up and even beyond, if you have an experience or feelings that you don't process then you break this part of yourself off and it is blocked. If you go back and talk about all of these things and express all of those blocked feelings you release the block and reintegrate that part of yourself.

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

It feels like there is such a battle going on within me. I want to find some peace. But how can I do that when I keep stirring up all the negative emotions/feelings from past issues? How can I find peace when I am constantly thinking about all the things that are 'wrong' with me? How can I find peace in the midst of turmoil?

I just want to be happy

It's a process and you have to stir up that stuff and process it and it doesn't happen overnight.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

What are 3 negative emotions you experience the most? What are 3 positive ones you experience?

Negative:
1. shyness
2. insecurity
3. sadness (but being sad is not always negative, I know it is helpful, and it is very comforting to have T with me when I am sad)

Positive:
1. Joy
2. Happiness
3. Connectedness

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

I also struggle with wanting to quit therapy just about session. How often do you feel this way? What do you tell yourself that keeps you going?

I don't feel that way often, but when I do, it is usually fleeting. I tell myself to contrast that feeling to all the good that therapy has done for me. On the one hand, I have this mountain of evidence of success in therapy, good feelings, accomplishments, progress, etc. And on the other hand, I have this momentary urge to not go to session, usually because of a dread of revealing and working on difficult and painful material. When I compare them like that, it is clear I should go to therapy!

Originally Posted by elliemay

All I can say is that if you want to start talking in therapy - pay full price!

Amen! I am in that same boat.

Originally Posted by Sannah

I totally understand the split you are feeling. Getting better involves integrating your personality.

It's a process and you have to stir up that stuff and process it and it doesn't happen overnight.

I don't like this 'process' at all. In fact, I hate it with a passion! I still think there needs to be a manual for us to read BEFORE we dive into therapy.

Then again, if we knew ahead of time what we were in for, we wouldn't step foot in a therapist's office! At least not me, anyway. Sometimes this 'process' makes me feel like I am not in my right mind. I feel as if someone else has taken over. I don't know anything anymore.

It is hard to leave a session and then go back to the real world. I don't think non-therapy have any idea what we are talking about when we express how hard and confusing therapy is.

Right now, I am in the "I don't want to ever go back" phase. I am sure it will pass, but for now, I am almost to the point of being physically ill just thinking about going to see her again. I am also in the "What if she abandons me? Rejects me? What if I make her mad? What if she thinks I am stupid!"

I think I am too old for this.

[bounceback]

I have been in therapy awhile. I guess my positive words would be connected, secure, accepted. My negative words would be rejected, embarrassed, disappointed.

[karebear1]

Squiggles- my sister! There's a small club being started for those of us that are too old for this and never want to go back. Wanna join?

Originally Posted by karebear1

Squiggles- my sister! There's a small club being started for those of us that are too old for this and never want to go back. Wanna join?

That sounds pretty cool right now. My birthday is on Monday. I will be 49 years old and I am acting like a 10 year old when in therapy!! I feel so STUPID sometimes when I think about how emotional I am about all this therapy stuff! Up one day, down the next. One minute I love therapy, the next I hate it and throw a fit saying I AM NEVER GOING BACK!

[karebear1]

I've got 3 years on you, but other than that- we're the same.

Sorry- didn't mean to hijack a perfectly good thread!

Please..... back to you regularly scheduled thread.

Originally Posted by karebear1

I've got 3 years on you, but other than that- we're the same.

Sorry- didn't mean to hijack a perfectly good thread!

Please..... back to you regularly scheduled thread.

It may have taken a turn, but it is still on the topic of negative/positive emotions and why we want to quit!!

My negative emotions right now are ANGER, ANGER, ANGER!

No positive at the moment.......

[karebear1]

Feeling any different this morning Squiggs?

Originally Posted by karebear1

Feeling any different this morning Squiggs?

I sent you a pm.

[karebear1]

Originally Posted by Squiggle328

I sent you a pm.

Got it and replied.

Maybe one reason I want to quit is because we are at a point that ANGER is taking over. I am afraid of what that may look like. I am afraid to show too much anger in front of her. I am afraid that she may tell me I need more help than she can give me. That would be a devastating blow for me.

No one would see me as an angry person. Well, maybe my husband. He sees it from time to time, but no one else does. I am afraid that I may really lose control if I allow my therapist to see just how much anger I have in me.

Actually, I am just being introduced to "Ms. Anger". This is the first time I have ever let her out. The first time I have even cared to know what she has to say. Every time she tried to talk to me before, I would tell her to "Back off! Shut UP! and leave me alone"

[Sannah]

Squiggle, good work. It seems that you kept working this until you figured out what was really going on with you. How are you today?

Happy Birthday!!