[nicoleb2]

I am getting really anxios about my t appt on monday. I cut a couple times since I last saw her. I left her a message telling her what I had done, but I still have so much shame that I don't want to go

[crazyman28]

Dear Nicole,

I cant tell you how brave you are to tell your t that you have been cutting. I have cut myself and more recently hit myself and I still don't have the balls to say anything. Telling someone one of your most inner secrets takes a lot of guts. Guts that I don't have!!! You must be so must be in so much pain that the only way you feel that you can release that pain is through cutting. Your therapist will understand that. They are not there to judge you or to tell you that you are bad. They are there to help you. You should not feel ashamed because anyone who is experiencing that much pain would have the same reaction. You are not alone in this battle. Keep fighting because I am sure you have a lot to live for.

Best wishes,

Crazyman28

[SoupDragon]

I feel like that sometimes too - I dread going, get really anxious that he will ask me about SI - he knows that I do, but we don't talk about it very often - he will just ask me occasionally re: frequency and if it is changing. I remind myself that I am going to T for help and SI is just a symptoms of me continuing to need help. I am sure also that T's know how shameful it is for us to admit and understand our difficulties. Why don't you post back on here after your session on Monday and let us know how it went? Mine next session is on Tuesday and I am facing the same shame re: going.

[Can't Stop Crying]

The first time I talked to T about cutting, I was so ashamed and nervous. He asked to see the cuts on my arms and I reluctantly showed him. He went through the fresh cuts one at a time and asked what was going on to make me want to do that for each. He was incredibly understanding and supportive - not what I expected at all. That moment was truly one where I removed a brick from the wall that I use to keep people out.
Do you need a pocket rider? I work third shift so I might be sleepy but I could sure go along with you for support!