Sitting on the Floor in Therapy

SpiritRunner · Apr 02, 2011, 07:51 PM

I don't think my T would sit on the floor with me, anyway....I feel safer curled up in a chair too. I was sitting closer to her, but moved further away after our rupture and am sitting with extra cushions in her armchair because it feels like a hug (that I can't have from her anymore.....)

Suratji · Apr 02, 2011, 08:46 PM

As I think more about it I know it's more about an intimate connection with T that is more accessible to me by us facing each other on floor. Sitting on chairs, she seems so far away. Also, sitting cross legged has a solid feel to it. It's not so much about feeling safer but more steady and rooted, I guess. I love it! Again, I'm used to sitting on floor - I do it daily with meditation practice so it's very easy

Apr 02, 2011, 10:04 PM

I sit all over T's office, and that includes the floor

He does join me when I sit down there. I like it down there sometimes. It feels very safe and contained to me.

Sometimes he sits across from me and we both stretch our legs out straight and sometimes we both lean on the couch.

I went through a long phase of asking him "am I your ______ client?" questions (your only client with x issue, your most demanding client, etc) and finally he said "you're the only client i've ever sat with on the floor"

Christina86 · Apr 02, 2011, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

Christina - I thnk your post sounds so lovely and comforting and actually I think it makes perfect sense that if you are already sitting in a wheelchair for the majority of the day, then sitting somewhere different would tend to feel good. I also like how you say that sitting on the floor feels for you like you are not disabled - it relly touched me and made me think a lot about how it is for different clients! I am really pleased it was such a positive experience for you and I also think if you told your therapist about how you feel when you sit on the floor with regards your disability it would really help her understand!!

Y'know, I may have to do that.

I did leave her a voicemail message saying I appreciated her humoring me in my oddities and for sitting with me through the session... but I haven't really discussed the disability stuff indepth so that's something else to look at. Thanks!

It really made me feel safe but also incredibly vulnerable since it would have taken me a few more minutes if I had to bolt out of the room - to get back into my wheelchair first! I'm used to being the short one or the one always sitting down, but sitting on the floor - that's a first.

gelfling · Apr 04, 2011, 07:08 PM

I have sat on the floor with different ts -- no i didnt ask first and was surprised when one of my therapists joined me on the floor -- but when i need to take notes it was easier to be on the floor by the coffee table than to try and balance my notebook on my lap. And sometimes it just felt like the right place for me to be....depending on what was going on in my head at the time.

Liam Grey · Apr 04, 2011, 07:21 PM

I don't know, the couch seems so much more comfortable than the floor.

But I know what you are saying here... thinking it better, it seems really more intimate and "soft". Unfortunately this is not the most appropriate period for me to try something like this, but never say never...

nannypat · Apr 04, 2011, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liam Grey

I don't know, the couch seems so much more comfortable than the floor.

But I know what you are saying here... thinking it better, it seems really more intimate and "soft". Unfortunately this is not the most appropriate period for me to try something like this, but never say never...

There was a time I would have like nothing better than to sit on the floor with pillows to hold in therapy.It still sounds inviting but I am afraid I am getting old and the spirit is willing but the bones are getting cranky. My T is really cool about stuff like that and a bit younger than me so would probably have no problem with it at all but I don't want to have to end my session early to have time to get myself up. I treasure every moment with her. If it sounds good to you, do it while you are young! lol

Kacey2 · Apr 04, 2011, 11:21 PM

My t and I have sat on the floor to play board games when I wasn't really able to engage in therapy. Or when he would come back from being on vacation and he felt like a total stranger. Some days we would play 5 + games of checkers and never really say a word. I think it helped to just spend time together until I felt connected again.

T has also asked me to bring in my special blanket to therapy sometimes if he thinks it is going to be a stressful session. I use it all the time for comfort. I just shove it in a backpack and wrap up in it when I need to. It feels weird though cause it is such a loved on ratty old blanket, i haven't parted with it for years. It does work the best for soothing me. I also have a weighted blanket for bedtimes and grounding. That hummer weighs 16 pounds. I don't think I will be hauling that in to t any time soon. Maybe I should start a thread on weighted blankies.

dizgirl2011 · Apr 06, 2011, 12:14 PM

Well on Monday I sat on the floor!! When I went into the session I seen two large cushions against the wall and asked my T if we were gonna sit on the floor and she said if I wanted to, so I said yes. I was pleased she was going to sit down on one as well.
I definately felt more grounded and it helps a lot that way but there still seemed to be a huge gap between us and I didnt feel as connected to her as I hoped...plus all she kept talking about was ending so that didnt help as I felt i was being prepared for abandonment but I definately prefer the floor and will be sitting there from now on! lol

Kacey2- your therapist sounds so nice and understanding. I can never imagine my therapist doing something like that, she would see it as boundaries being crossed.

Suratji · Apr 06, 2011, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

I definately felt more grounded and it helps a lot that way but there still seemed to be a huge gap between us and I didnt feel as connected to her as I hoped...

Too bad there still seems to be a gap and that you didn't feel as connected. Maybe when it feels more familiar to you it will bring you closer.

I have session in 45 minutes and I will tell T that she doesn't need to ask me anymore if we'll be sitting on floor. That's the way I want all sessions to go.

dizgirl2011 · Apr 06, 2011, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suratji

Too bad there still seems to be a gap and that you didn't feel as connected. Maybe when it feels more familiar to you it will bring you closer.

I have session in 45 minutes and I will tell T that she doesn't need to ask me anymore if we'll be sitting on floor. That's the way I want all sessions to go.

aww cool let me know how you get on!

xxx

Suratji · Apr 06, 2011, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

aww cool let me know how you get on!

xxx

Well, now I feel bad about asking T to sit on the floor with me. I asked her if she totally hated doing it and she replied, that no, she didn't hate it but it wasn't her favorite thing to do but she was willing for me.

But I don't want her to have to do that just for me if she doesn't like it so I guess I'll go back to the couch next time.

dizgirl2011 · Apr 06, 2011, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suratji

Well, now I feel bad about asking T to sit on the floor with me. I asked her if she totally hated doing it and she replied, that no, she didn't hate it but it wasn't her favorite thing to do but she was willing for me.

But I don't want her to have to do that just for me if she doesn't like it so I guess I'll go back to the couch next time.

(((((huge hugs))))) aw im sorry she responded that way! Although she did say she would do it for you which shows she cares about you and how you feel

Suratji · Apr 07, 2011, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

(((((huge hugs))))) aw im sorry she responded that way! Although she did say she would do it for you which shows she cares about you and how you feel

I still feel sad though

Apr 10, 2011, 01:41 AM

I sit on the floor every session. I sit in front of the couch and between the wall and the coffee table, so I feel very safe and contained. T stays on her chair so I am looking up at her. For me it has a lot to do with feeling childlike. It helps me feel more connected to T and it helps me feel like a little girl... which is what I need to feel to feel safe and connected...even though it's scary.

granite1 · Apr 10, 2011, 03:47 AM

i sit on the floor at home all the time it seems i have done this all my life ,so when i am able to sit on the floor in therapy it just feels comfortable.i dont think for me it has to do with feeling child like at all.i just feel safe and grounded.i wish i could sit on the floor more often but i have to ask and it's the whole talking thing

dizgirl2011 · Apr 10, 2011, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by granite1

i sit on the floor at home all the time it seems i have done this all my life ,so when i am able to sit on the floor in therapy it just feels comfortable.i dont think for me it has to do with feeling child like at all.i just feel safe and grounded.i wish i could sit on the floor more often but i have to ask and it's the whole talking thing

I agree I feel safer and more grounded to and I only did it for the first time last week but it just feels right! I have T tomorrow so I am going to do it again and see how it goes. My T doesn't seem to mind at all or even see it as an issue because she says she finds a lot of younger clients like to kind of "sprawl out" as she puts it lol. I did wish it made me feel closer to her but maybe it's good that it doesn't as I will have to give her up soon enough

xxxx

purple_fins · 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

I think your thoughts are very rational considering you remember the floor as a place of hurt or as a way to be trapped. its also common sense that its easier to get up from a chair than the floor. Perhaps the reason some people like it, is they feel they can hide e.g. on the floor in the corner, for others who dont feel afraid of our therapists or perhaps dont feel the need to run as such, its more about the closer connection we feel when being physically closer to our therapists.

Its interesting to find out what people think on this

been meaning to reply to this.... loosing my way--- gets in the way

(daily triggers and such)

anyway-- I wanted to say-- where you said --"for others who dont feel afraid of our therapists "..... I truly don't feel afraid of the therapist I see now-- finally someone IS safe in my world... finally.
it's the rest of the world that is still frightening and that "world" could barge/break into T.'s office at any moment(it did happen once!)..... I MUST stay vigilent.... can never be too careful and must be very aware and ready. I can't be way smaller or in a place where I have the physical disadvantage--my history shows me that can be life threatening -- in the least, physical injury occurs.

I think it is very wonderful though, that so many don't have that terror within and are able to concentrate on the "connection" and find comfort in being small and look for being taken care of-- it does sound lovely.

my best to all

fins

dizgirl2011 · Apr 10, 2011, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by purple_fins

been meaning to reply to this.... loosing my way--- gets in the way

(daily triggers and such)

anyway-- I wanted to say-- where you said --"for others who dont feel afraid of our therapists "..... I truly don't feel afraid of the therapist I see now-- finally someone IS safe in my world... finally.
it's the rest of the world that is still frightening and that "world" could barge/break into T.'s office at any moment(it did happen once!)..... I MUST stay vigilent.... can never be too careful and must be very aware and ready. I can't be way smaller or in a place where I have the physical disadvantage--my history shows me that can be life threatening -- in the least, physical injury occurs.

I think it is very wonderful though, that so many don't have that terror within and are able to concentrate on the "connection" and find comfort in being small and look for being taken care of-- it does sound lovely.

my best to all

fins

Hey, when reading back my quote "for those of us who don't feel afraid of our therapists" I realise that they way I worded it sounds quite patronising or something - it wasn't meant to and I am sorry if it felt that way to you.

I think when our lives have hurt us it's only natural to protect ourselves which is what your doing by staying vigilant, I think thats very understandable! I hope some day that the world doesn't seem as frightening. I am really glad that you feel comfortable with your current therapist, that can mean so much to feel safe with them definately

xxx

Suratji · Apr 10, 2011, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

she says she finds a lot of younger clients like to kind of "sprawl out" as she puts it lol.

xxxx

And I'm one of the older clients who like to sprawl out. Me and my grandson sprawl out together all the time.

Inform your T that sprawling is not only for you kids

sunrise · Apr 10, 2011, 01:42 PM

I haven't sat on the floor, but if I did, I would want my T to sit down there with me. I like being on an even level with him and I would feel uncomfortable looking up at himm--not to mention getting a crook in my neck! If we were both down on the floor it would suggest we were comfortable and informal with each other, and I would like that.

One time in therapy, my therapist sat on the floor. I didn't like it as then I felt he was looking up at me. Aaaackk! I did not like that. I wanted us to be level. That was the only time he did that, thank goodness. When he did it, I just ignored it. I think maybe his back was hurting or something and he wanted a change of position. A few times my T has also lain down on his couch, and I also don't like that, as it puts him lower than me. (I think he did that because of his back too.)

I think I like us to be level because I like to think of our relationship as more or less reciprocal. Having one person higher or lower makes it seem less reciprocal.

hardtimes101 · Apr 17, 2011, 02:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

Hey guys

A few weeks ago my therapist gave me an article to read, mainly about transerence and also just how it can feel to be a client, waiting from one session to the next. There was something in the article that stood out to me and that was how the client had spoke of her need to sit on the floor, almost to feel smaller or childlike and how this client had spent the first half of her time in therapy sitting on the floor.

I told my therapist how shocked I was to read this, because I felt the great need myself for a very long time when we started therapy (but was too embarrassed to say) - I got an even greater shock when she said that I could sit on the floor if I wanted, that she would bring in some cushions and that often younger clients (late teens is the youngest she would see) find they want to sit on the floor!!!! I didnt move, I didnt know what to do but i couldnt believe i was even getting offered this!! I was sure she would have just said no.

my question is: have you ever sat on the floor in therapy? What did it feel like? Did your therapist sit on the floor also? did it help your therapy or have any odd or unexpected influences? Perhaps have you asked and been declined? Also whos idea was it in the first place??

I would be really keen to hear peoples thoughts - even if you just want to say how you would like to try it or if you want to say you never would, I would still like to know

Thanks
Dizgirl xxx

I move around when things get hard and she's saying something or trying to get me to say something that is difficult. I sometimes sit against a wall like a catcher in a baseball game, not completely on my butt. Then sometimes I end up on the floor away from her so when I tell her something really tough I don't have to see her body language response. I find that I'm very busy analyizing her analyizing me....not helpful.

I don't think she ever sat on the floor with me, but offered once when I was there and she wanted to do EMDR with me. I have never asked if I could, I just do and sometimes hang against the wall or walk around and stand by the window. I guess how I feel about my therapist makes me a bit nervous in session...lol She is really good about it though!!

Suratji · Apr 17, 2011, 09:40 AM

I'm feeling serious rejection since my T won't sit on the floor with me anymore. So, we're both on chairs again and it's ok, I guess. I had already decided that I wouldn't sit on floor anymore since it came across quite clearly that she hated it. But then, the next session she just announced that she was sitting in her chair and I responded, that that's what I planned to do too. She didn't discuss the reason for the change or anything so now this issue, for me, has become a barrier between us. And she didn't ask me why I had decided to sit in chair again.

On floor I can feel my emotions better and feel safer. I've decided that I will not expose myself, as much as possible, emotionally in session. It will be better to just discuss the emotions I've been feeling out of session. Being sent to the highest limb on the tree is too dangerous. I need to be on the ground.

Liam Grey · Apr 17, 2011, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suratji

I'm feeling serious rejection since my T won't sit on the floor with me anymore. So, we're both on chairs again and it's ok, I guess. I had already decided that I wouldn't sit on floor anymore since it came across quite clearly that she hated it. But then, the next session she just announced that she was sitting in her chair and I responded, that that's what I planned to do too. She didn't discuss the reason for the change or anything so now this issue, for me, has become a barrier between us. And she didn't ask me why I had decided to sit in chair again.

Well I think that you should ask, anyway.