how long did it take for you to notice a difference from therapy?

How long did it take for you to notice a difference, or feel like you were making some progress, in therapy? I don't necessarily mean feeling better, just that it was making some kind of difference,even if it was a worse before it gets better kind of difference.

also, i'm especially interested to hear how it worked from anyone whose main issue is not past trauma.

When I was in therapy before I think I was too young to notice anything significant. Now, I've been with my T for over a year and we both have been noticing progress as of recently. There is still a lot of work to do, but it's making a huge difference in my life.

I mainly do talk therapy, so discussion is everything to us. We both have mental agendas of what I need to work on, so whatever comes up for that session and we just go with the flow. If it is BIG issue and something that needs to be addressed immediatly and for a length of time, my T will let me know. That's pretty much how it works for me.

Hope this helped a little

I do not have any major past trauma. Mine was more of marriage and relationship issues. A year later, I can't tell a lot of difference, but my family can. I think other people notice it more than we do.

It definitely got a lot worse before it got better. It goes back and forth, good session, bad session. I feel great one time, the next time I tell myself I am never setting foot in her office again. I am sure those times are the ones that I probably made the most progress but did not realize it at the time.

My husband and I are going to counseling together. He had left me, moved to another state, where, guess what? He had a GIRLFRIEND! After six weeks, he came back and we've been trying to patch things up ever since. Our T has mostly worked on hubby. He counsels me about my anger--he relates it to behavior learned as a young child from a dysfunctional mother. After just a few weeks with this T, I have seen a change in hubby. He now understands that he made a mistake in leaving me, that he has other options, that he has a conflict phobia. That he is more of a problem in the relationship than I am. I have learned that I need to control my anger better around him. All this in maybe 6 sessions, over about 8 weeks. In my case, I am also better because of my new psych meds. Taking two instead of my old Prozac which I took for 20 years, and a much higher dosage of the meds.

I have questioned whether I've made any gains but if I'm truthful and honest I would say that I have become more self aware by leaps and bounds in my 3 1/2 months. Big difference - my whole thing is when will I be done?

I've been going for almost 3 months. I went in with certain issues/expectations and it took me awhile to adjust to how therapy works, establish trust my T, etc. I also realized I had a lot more to work on than initially thought. Also no background of trauma here either. I had severe transference with my T and really really struggled, still am. Because of this it has definitely gotten worse but someone posted awhile back, "Why are you in Therapy?" and I made a list of what I hoped to accomplish and realized I have done some already. I don't know that I feel better right now, I am really dependent and needy on my T and I am not like that normally. However, I did tell T about my feelings and after that episode(really really tough) I knew I could do anything. This forum has absolutely helped. Good luck to you!

Just being able to participate in therapy was the first change I saw and that took me 9 months. That could be different for others of course. I think I was kind of slow getting there.

Other changes, especially lessening of my anxiety, were more gradual and even though I could see definite change, it isn't linear, so there were times I couldn't see the change at all. I think change can be startling so we revert back as many times as needed until change feels familiar and comfortable.

I have been in therapy (this time) for 4 years and there was a definite shift a few months ago that T and I have talked about. I struggled a long time with censoring myself (I still can struggle with it but it isn't so awful and we can talk about it, it's become something that's useful, that I can learn from).
Today, I feel more able to be open, less worried about being judged, rejected, and just generally hurt by others and that is in therapy as well as out of therapy. I notice the wide and deep gap I've felt between myself and T and myself and others shrinking and so I feel closer to T and others and I feel more at ease with myself. That is very hard for me: feeling exposed is something that is I find so hard to deal with, while wanting to feel at ease and okay with being 'seen' at the same time.

Gradual changes can be harder to identify or maybe don't feel significant if they are noticed.
And can be hard to trust that they are real and lasting.

I have had many many times of wondering if therapy was doing me any good, if there was any hope for meaningful change, how long it was going to take. It can feel discouraging. When it does, talking to T about it is so important.



Edited to add: One of the first things I noticed, and that also helped lessen my anxiety and frustrations, was that I had more words for my experiences. I used to have a signature that said "It is ironic that we call them 'shrinks' when in reality, they expand our minds"

Honestly? About 2 years. Not to discourage anyone, but I have major trust issues. I spent 2 years testing my t, and during that time, although I did tell him things that I hadn't told anyone else, I didn't trust what he would do with those things. So those 2 years were mainly about me and him. Recently things have changed, and I am able to focus on my issues. Yesterday he said he noticed a definite improvement in my ways of thinking about myself, and I do have to agree with him. I guess even in those 2 years, something was sinking in, without me realizing it.

I have been in therapy 8 months.....recently my T said she has noticed lots of progress in some areas, like I am not wanting to self-harm as much, I am able to cope better, not having as much suicidal ideation, gaining insight into my negative coping skills and learning better ones, staying grounded and not dissociating so much.....I am thankful for this much progress, but I feel like I have so much more to work on, tons more progress I have yet to make. It's just an ongoing process, an ongoing, forward journey, sometimes a step backward, but then steps forward again!

I never did with my first therapist (as an adult).

Almost immediately with my current therapist; however, I had been in group for nearly a year when I started, and she was a co-facilitator in that group for a few of those months, so there was a little comfort with her going in. It probably doesn't hurt that I'm attracted to her, so on some level I want her to get to know me, even though I know nothing will ever happen romantically/sexually. I could see that as a hindrance for some people, but I think it's been helpful for me.

I think our first few sessions were huge as well. I felt like we established a fairly strong therapeutic connection almost immediately, largely because she was so open with me, which I expressed to her at the time. She was there for me (not something I'm used to) for a couple extra emergency appointments early on as well.

With my first therapist, who I saw for major depression, I think it took about 6 months before I noticed improvement. We had to work at finding what it was that would make me feel better, as not all interventions for depression work with everyone. When we found the things that helped, even a little, we zeroed in on those. A big one for me was sleep. I was severely sleep deprived so we spent a lot of time figuring out how I could add more sleep in my life, troubleshooting failed efforts, etc. It just took quite a while to find the things that were helpful. But she was systematic and tried a lot of different things.

Reading these responses makes me feel how weird I am. The biggest difference in any of my therapies has been the attachment to the T, which should not have been the major issue. I guess looking at that relationship made differences, at least in being aware of the problems in my life related to attachment. I didn't notice any differences except for, after a few years, being able to talk more freely with my first T.

My former T before my current one used to talk about the changes I'd made though I didn't see them. She said I was more confident, maintained eye contact with her, and came in and talked without hesitating. It took about a year before I did those things. I became more comfortable in social situations and took more risks in general but it was gradual.

I noticed changes with my current T sooner, maybe after a month or so because she continually encouraged me to feel my feelings in the session and not intellectualize. Her orientation is different so I noticed changes in me sooner. She helped me to relax by doing breathing/meditation with me.

Bottom line: With me, it's been very, very slow--like years, and I'm not sure where I am now. I don't mean to be discouraging. It could be that I'm not "better" because I never took meds. Each of us works at our own pace and it's not really a good idea to compare.

I hope my post wasn't discouraging. I feel like I've made a lot of progress with my current therapist in a relatively short time, but I realize I still have a long ways to go.

I think my attachment to my therapist has been a huge catalyst in my therapy because experiencing it is something so central to my issues. Allowing myself to actually feel it, explore those feelings, and talk with her about them has been huge for me. It can be extremely painful at times, but feeling the way I do is encouraging because I've never felt this way before, and now I know that I can. Of course, that makes it more painful at times, but the analogy of therapy being similar to working out has come up numerous times, and I try to keep that in mind. Some days that's a lot easier than others, but on good days, I can see and feel the progress. I guess that kinda has double meaning for me, in that, by allowing myself to feel is progress in and of itself. Additionally, I think the way I feel about her encourages me to push myself harder, both in individual therapy and in group.

I agree that it's not a good idea to compare. Not only because we all move at a different pace, but because we're working on different things and have different experiences that have brought us to where we are. Additionally, people process things differently, what works for one person may be completely counterproductive for another.

With my first two T's, it was purely crisis mode for me...I was so depressed and anxious that I wasn't looking so much for improvement as for help just not getting worse. I did not trust either of those T's very much, but for the crisis I was in, they helped.

I've been with my current T for almost 2 years now. I trust her very, very much. I think I started noticing improvements about the same time I started to really trust her...maybe after about 6 months or so. I've noticed some HUGE improvements within just the last 2 or 3 months (so that would be after about a year and a half of therapy). I probably would have seen changes sooner, if I didn't have such huge trust issues...but I do and I had to get past that first.

Rainbow, can I ask what is the orientation of your current t? You're very welcome to pm me if you'd rather. I also wondered what you were able to talk with your t more freely about. I think that I'm pretty open with my t's, but one of them didn't think I was and now I wonder what else she wanted me to talk about (didn't think of asking when I was still talking to her).

Qwerty, your reply was actually encouraging to me because I've been to a ton of t's who don't seem to have made any difference that I can tell, so I'm glad it's possible to have some t make a difference even if others didn't. Also it's really encouraging whenever I read that someone experienced a really noticeable difference.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone and I will try to respond more later.

I got worse for 4 years before I finally told him something really big and I started to get a little better. The getting worse was gradual and I'm not sure when it started.

Best to you!

I have huge huge huge trust issues (as do, apparently a lot of people in therapy). If you go in without these kind of issues, it's probably easier to accept feedback from a therapist-- either good or bad.

What I did to cope with this was READ. I have read a lot about psychology. Some of this was useless. Some of it was good. But it's definitely helped me mature. And it helped me stick with therapy.

I would say a combination of the support and new experiences is really what does it. Even 1 session can change a lot. Are you feeling you're getting enough out of therapy, Learning?????

i hope this is not too negative. The reasons I went into therapy this time (3 years ago) seem fairly superficial to me now. Those symptoms have abaited a little but as time goes on it seems I have a never-ending supply of neuroses and fears and traumas and emotional conflict etc etc that impact greatly on my life. I sometimes find myself wondering if my life would have been any better if I didnt start therapy and find out all the problems I have now. I almost wish I put up with the initial problems because right now I would trade with the person I was at the beginning of therapy. Again, sorry to be negative.

I've started therapy 3 times; each one lasted a few months. My social phobia, agoraphobia, and general anxiety reduce within weeks each time. For those things, it helps to just get things out of my head and get some encouragement.

I have other issues (some related to trauma) that won't budge yet.

Any suggestions for reading, lyib?

Yes, lots of people mentioned trust. I wonder if people were aware of having trust issues before getting into therapy? I wonder if you end up trusting more, about things you didn't even think about before? Or were you aware of it all along?

Yeah, can't tell if I'm getting much out of it.

Chronic, sorry to hear that. I hope that it is the worse-before-it-gets-better kind of thing. Do you think that's possible?

Oh man YES! Of course! I will gladly whip up a list. The only thing is... watch out.. you're gonna end up diagnosing your shrink instead of the other way around....

I don't have any past traumas and have been in therapy for over 3 years now. I will say that I did NOT expect to be in so long. Nor did I expect how hard it would be to share my thoughts and feelings. At the beginning of therapy, I was all like "I don't have trust issues! I think people are basically good."

YEAH RIGHT. I sincerely thought I didn't, but as therapy has gone on, I realized that it isn't true.

About noticing a difference--this is hard for me. I spent the first yearish going back and forth if my T was helping me or not. I didnt feel like I felt any different. I probably started to trust my T more only in the past 6 or 7 months. Its hard for me, because I can't feel my feelings while im in there, and i freak out about ever upsetting her, making her mad, or saying something that hurt her feelings.

Soooooooo....I don't know! I understand what I'm feeling easier now, and can reign them in when necessary--like at work. As far as getting anything "resolved," I don't feel like i've moved an iota in that direction. I still have a lot of issues with my mom, and haven't even touched dating/sexuality.

Sounds good to my lyib Where's that list?!!

I went in because of major depression and feeling like I couldn't handle my kids. I snapped on my daughter and it scared me.

I'm back on meds, not nearly as depressed. I'm not isolating myself as much, I am learning to communicate my needs to my husband and recognize signs of getting depression, overwhelmed or anxious and talking myself through it.

I've been in therapy this time for 10 months. Before I did two years with my first T and things got really bad with my ED and self harm. I ended up needing to go into IOP treatment.