[BlessedRhiannon]

I had a really tough session with my T today. It was good, just difficult for me. I shared something with her that I've never shared with anyone before (even previous T's). It was very difficult for me to share, and by the time I was half way done, my entire body was poised for flight. When I was done talking (a grand total of maybe 10 minutes), I was actually shaking. My T stopped me and said that she wanted me to just process what I was feeling before we moved on. As I sat there with all that anxiety, just noticing it, it slowly began to lessen and eventually, I was able to take a deep breath and notice that I had stopped shaking. It was a change from the way I usually behave, which is to force the anxiety away and force myself to appear relaxed. It felt so much better, so much more natural to let the anxiety flow through me and let it pass in it's own time. I'm grateful to my T for showing me how to do that and for allowing me the time to let the anxiety pass.

Anyway, once I could speak again, I told my T that'd I'd never told anyone what I'd told her. She thanked me for trusting her and sharing with her. I told her..."no offense intended, but right now, you're really not welcome!" She understood that I was still just a bit anxious about what I'd shared and just smiled at my response.

Normally, after such a disclosure, I'd be beating myself up for daring to trust someone and share something like that. But...this time was different. I accept that what I told my T was true, and that I trust her, and that telling her will not somehow come back to bite me in the butt. I'm actually okay with telling her, now that I've said it. And I noticed that I'm actually not beating myself up about it. That is such a huge improvement for me!

[Elli-Beth]

Wow! That's a lot of work! Awesome job!

Good work.

[SpiritRunner]

awesome work!

[swimmergirl]

Good job!! So happy for you!

[Can't Stop Crying]

good job! look at how much progress you're making!

(((((((((((BlessedRhiannon)))))))))))))))

THAT is wonderful. I love how T sat with you through the anxiety....and maybe feeling your feelings instead of pushing them away is part of why you are able to feel a little bit at peace after your session. That is such good work.

Thank you for sharing your session with us

[nannypat]

Wow. Good for you!

[PTSDlovemycats]

Nicely done!

[granite1]

thats great how you were able to share with her .great work.how did you do it i mean start.did you just how up sit down and say ???or did you T start first just wondering i dont even know how to begin talking to my T about really hard stuff

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by granite1

how did you do it i mean start.did you just how up sit down and say ???or did you T start first just wondering i dont even know how to begin talking to my T about really hard stuff

Actually, I kinda brought it up in our last session, and my T asked if I could elaborate then. I said no...maybe next time. Sooo...today, she asked me where I wanted to start, and I told her that I knew I'd said last week that I would talk about the issue, but I just couldn't. So, we talked about some other things for half an hour. Then, my T said that she thought there was just enough time to start talking about this, if I wanted to try. I spent several minutes in silence, then several minutes staring at my journal entry but not able to read it out loud. My T just waited. I talked about why it was so hard for me to talk about the subject, and just kinda slowly eased in to it from there.

The thing is, my T knows that if I decide I want to talk about something, I will...eventually. She just has to wait for me to gather the courage, find the right words, and decide it's safe. I knew it was safe, I was just afraid and didn't have the right words. My T gave me plenty of time and space to find the words I needed. She didn't pressure me or try to get me to talk...she just waited with me and let me slowly work it out on my own.

[Sweetlove]

Your T sounds great...congratulations for having such a productive session. Great job!