[dizgirl2011]

*****Long and possibly Triggering!*****

Hey guys

I am just feeling a bit crap at the moment. I am on a 2 week break from Therapy because of easter, I have 1 more week to go from tomorrow.
I feel very alone and scared about my life. I hate that my life is worthless without 50 minutes with someone who only cares on a professional level - it makes me feel pathetic. I have friends and other people in my life but it's not enough.
I have talked to my T about how i'm feeling and stuff.

What's even scarier is that my T has been talking of ending lately (we only started just over a year ago, although i seen her for about 7 months a few years ago). I am 99% sure I will have lost her by the end of this year. No one ever hangs around for long in my support system.

when at school I spoke to a teacher who was lovely for the first while and then decided to stop speakng to me; I then seen my current counsellor when she worked for a Therapy service, however this was only short term and after 7 months I lost her also. A few months later i got a mental health worker who I had for about 11 months and then she was removed without any say on my behalf and I never saw her again. she was replaced by another worker who I still have but who is constantly off and I am lucky if I see her for 30mins once a month. And now my current T, who I adore (the same one I saw for 7 months) will be gone soon enough too.......I know deep down its probably not a reflection on me, its just how they all work but I can't help but feel I must be the most awful person in the world because no one stays around. I know when my current T ends that I will have to go in search of someone new and start again....only to loose them probably as soon as I get comfortable.

Sometimes it's just very hard to keep going I'm worried that if I let myself feel too down this week that I will go into my next session either angry or very upset and I dont want that either.

I don't wish to contact my T between sessions because it wont help anyway and I know she needs a break.

I really am just ranting because there's nothing anyone can really do. I wish I could have a bug hug and cry on someones shoulder.

[lastyearisblank]

Sorry it hurts right now (((((dizgirl)))))

[Can't Stop Crying]

sorry this is happening...it's hard when our support systems keep changing. I agree with you but wanted to re-iterate it..it's has nothing to do with you, it's just the nature of the system. Keep trying, I hope things get better for you soon.

[PTSDlovemycats]

((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS!!!)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[dizgirl2011]

thanks guys (((hugs back)))

[Liam Grey]

It sucks that the system is so strict in the UK.

Are you sure 100% there aren't therapists who works without a specific time span? I wish you could find one, next time you'll search.

[REEG]

Hey dizgrl hang in there. Sorry it's been tough to find consistent support. Would a support group on RL be an option?

[SpiritRunner]

(((((((((((diz)))))))))))) I'm sorry this is happening!

[dizgirl2011]

Originally Posted by Liam Grey

It sucks that the system is so strict in the UK.

Are you sure 100% there aren't therapists who works without a specific time span? I wish you could find one, next time you'll search.

I hope I find someone someday who doesn't care how long I need them and can just accept that i need them and thats it.

[SpiritRunner]

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

I hope I find someone someday who doesn't care how long I need them and can just accept that i need them and thats it.

that would be wonderful, would it not!!

[Brighid]

So sorry you are going through this tough time right now; its never an easy road, it seems, but we all care about you and are here for you whenever you need a shoulder to lean on, or an ear to listen and rant to. Much love to you and I hope you can find solace tonight to be at peace.