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#1
Apr 25, 2011, 02:03 PM
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I'm so freaking done with all of this. I'm cancelling my next two appts with my T and cancelling my appt with my pdoc. I just can't do this ANYMORE!
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Everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed them. |
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#2
Apr 25, 2011, 02:06 PM
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I hate therapy too, I waver between giving up and continuing.
__________________
 Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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#3
Apr 25, 2011, 02:48 PM
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It's hard, I know! Sometimes I want to quit, too, because it hurts.
Take a break if you need to, but leave the door open to go back as well, don't shut the door completely only because it seems too hard right now! ((((((Dani)))))) |
 SadNJNY
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#4
Apr 25, 2011, 03:19 PM
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Big
 it is hard at times but I agree with poetgirl76, definately leave the door open, just in case. 
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#5
Apr 25, 2011, 03:53 PM
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Quote:
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#6
Apr 25, 2011, 11:50 PM
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I took a xanax after therapy today and took a much needed nap, so I feel much more calm right now. But I'm so frustrated with therapy right now I just don't know what to do. I told her in a previous session how I was afraid to get close to her, and worried that I was feel too attached and wanted to pull away. I've told her about my issues with talking and how scary it is to open up to someone, when I've kept all my thoughts and secrets to myself for so many years. But sometimes it just feels like she doesn't get it. Like things I've brought up in previous sessions she seems to forget about and move on, but I can't move on and it feels like I'm stuck and want to talk about them more, to understand why I feel that way.
Lately she has been starting off the session by asking me what I want to talk about, and I completely freeze up. I feel like therapy is going nowhere and I'm wasting her time and my time and it seems completely pointless. Like when she asks what I want to talk about, does she honestly want to know what I'm thinking? Does she want to know that every night when I go to bed I dread it because I know I will wake up the next day and wish I didn't? Does she want to know that every day I dread going to school because I know I'll spend the whole day walking to every class like a zombie and sit in class completely silent and feeling like I'm not even there? Does she want to know how badly I hate myself and how much I hate looking at myself in the mirror and seeing what horrible person I am? I really don't know what she wants me to say. Sometimes I'll bring up a topic about how bad I'm feeling and she tries to re-assure me that things will get better and blah blah blah, but she doesn't know. She doesn't know me. I'm just so sick of everything right now. And I think that after 3 years with my T, when she does more talking than I do in the majority of the sessions, then going seems pointless. I've told her that I hate her office because it's in a small area of a building and her office is just a small room off the reception area where I can hear when people go in and out of the reception area and hearing other people outside the door talking is really distracting and makes me worry about whether they can hear what I say. She tried to re-assure me that no one can hear us, but the fact that I can hear them outside the door makes me anxious and want to just leave. Sorry for the long post, I just needed to get some things out. I don't dislike my therapist, in fact, I think I like her too much and it scares me. I just hate the whole therapy process and wonder how much more I can take. I don't talk a lot and I'm sure she's frustrated with me at this point because I've been seeing her for 3 years and I feel like by now I should be the one to talk the most in session, but I can't and it makes it so frustrating. I feel like I want to just quit so I don't have to deal with anything anymore. I have not cancelled my next sessions or pdoc appt yet, because I figured I'd give myself another week to think things over before I make a decision. But at this point I'm not sure if my T can help me anymore. I don't know if anyone can help me. I don't want to start over with a different T because I think I would just end up in the same situation.
__________________
Everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed them. |
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#7
Apr 26, 2011, 05:06 AM
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You expressed yourself so well in this post Dani, could you print it off and bring it to her?
__________________
Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. ~ Maya Angelou Thank you SadNEmpty for my avatar and signature.
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| mixedup_emotions
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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