[*doodles*]

That's how I've been feeling lately. T is SO encouraging and always makes me feel like I can get past whatever we might be working on, or can do whatever I'm doubting, etc. But lately we have been talking about some TOUGH stuff and I just give up. I shut down. I don't feel. I don't do my "homework". I don't write when I'm feeling overwhelmed(which she suggested). I have an appt tuesday and I don't even want to go because I feel like she has all these high hopes for me and I am failing her. Or she will think that I just didn't try. I don't know. I just can't do anything lately. I don't even want to.

[sunrise]

Try to share these thoughts with your T. She will see how much you do care and that you don't want to fail. See what she suggests. Sometimes taking a break from a difficult topic can be really helpful. Then when you come back around to it, you have more strength and energy, and sometimes insight. Hang in there.

[online user]

You don't go to the therapist for the therapist's sake...you go for YOURSELF. There is no letting her down if you aren't coping as well as you have previously. Life has it's ups and downs, whether we are functioning normally or are ill. The road to better health is never smooth. Your therapist WILL be understanding. You can talk about how you haven't been doing as much when you see her. You may have identified already what is causing it--you say you are overwhelmed with the "tough stuff" you have been working on in therapy. Maybe pick just one thing off your "should do" or "to do" lists and do one thing, so you at least feel like you've accomplished something. If you're not up even to that, then take a little time relaxing, trying to put thoughts out of your mind; just be at peace with yourself for a few minutes. If you do this a lot, just focus on breathing in and out, you will find you are much calmer and more peaceful. You may get more of your energy back to do some things you'd like. Don't worry--it WILL get better, with all the work that you are doing.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by doodle3609

That's how I've been feeling lately. T is SO encouraging and always makes me feel like I can get past whatever we might be working on, or can do whatever I'm doubting, etc. But lately we have been talking about some TOUGH stuff and I just give up. I shut down. I don't feel. I don't do my "homework". I don't write when I'm feeling overwhelmed(which she suggested). I have an appt tuesday and I don't even want to go because I feel like she has all these high hopes for me and I am failing her. Or she will think that I just didn't try. I don't know. I just can't do anything lately. I don't even want to.

Doodle... to answer your queston, yes; I could have written much of what you have here.
It may not help you much to know that there's at least one other who is in the same place as you are, but you have helped me by letting me know that.

Let's just keep going... "if the duty is done, the fruit will come."

Doodle, I agree with others here who suggest you bring this topic up in therapy tomorrow. I think your feelings are pretty common . . .I know I've felt them many many times. In a sense, these feelings are triggered by the transference in therapy--it's "old stuff" from your childhood. Children hate to disappoint the important people in their lives and when they feel as though they're struggling or unable to keep up, to make it, it triggers feelings of failing and disappointing. Sometimes it means that your T will need to slow down. A bit of challenging is a good thing, but it needs to be carefully balanced with checking in with the client to see how they're handing the challenges. Your T can't know what you're thinking if you don't talk to her. Let her know what's going on in your head! Good luck tomorrow!

[dizgirl2011]

Hey Doodle, it can be a natural coping mechanism to try and shut down and hide when dealing with difficult issues, so please dont feel you are failing. I don't think anyone can fail at therapy, it just works better for some than others but there is no pass and fail. If you think it helps you in some way then it does.

I don't think that I consider myself to be failing in therapy...more failing in life in general lol!

[Can't Stop Crying]

I can relate...I try so hard to please my T, always be the "perfect client", I feel guilty when I don't feel like I'm making enough progress. I've struggled with these characteristics my entire life!

[*doodles*]

Thanks everyone. I will try to talk to her about it. I know she is just pushing me so hard because she wants me to see things differently, but sometimes its too much. At least paired up with my abandonment issues, trying to be the perfect client like CSC was saying, fear of rejection, feeling like I am never good enough, etc.

[cmac13]

I have been with my therapist for 19 years. It has been a very long difficult journey for me. My therapist has promised not to abandon me and is always encouraging me to be my best. I sometimes feel like I am failing in therapy and disappointing her. She always responds with and asks me "do you think therapy is a test to either pass or fail because it's not?" She also tells me that it is not about disapointing her ever. She has told me countless times that she is NOT my mother and I don't have to worrry about "taking care of her".
That has been a very difficult lesson to learn.