help me decide, please?

((((((zoo))))))

I hope you find an answer tomorrow, but that you get a good night's sleep first. I was wondering about the unanswered phone calls and emails. Wasn't that something you were going to clear up at your last session? I thought you decided on scheduled times for calls. I think a lot of your discontent comes from not knowing when your T will call or email, and when she won't. I do not think you're begging for crumbs; whether and when a T will return messages, IMO, is something that should be very clear, not something left to the whim of the T.

rainbow

I thought we had it cleared up, too. I think T did not like my idea of setting up a couple of scheduled calls just to check in. I thought she would like that one since I took it right out of Linehan's book.

She told me to text her if I just want to check in and to call her if I need coaching. We had one texted conversation this week, and it was good. I called her twice: once she called me back more than 24 hours later, the second she didn't call back at all. I also sent 2 emails, one on Fri or Sat and one today. Again, no reply.

We haven't really talked about emails, except for when I told her that I think it would be good to limit texts and emails because of the difficulties in interpreting written communication. I think this rupture has roots in an email I sent T on easter weekend which she took in a COMPLETELY different way than I intended.

So I wanted to limit texts and emails, but then I went ahead and emailed anyway, so. Yeah. It is very confusing and I would just like to know, for sure, when to expect return calls and what things it is okay to talk about. Not knowing just leaves me dangling and that doesn't feel safe at all.

More than anything I just want to feel safe. I want to feel safe with T again, but if being safe means not having T, I'll take that. I just need to feel safe.

let me put it this way, you are a very smart person who has posted before of knowing what things you need for your own well being. that tells me you are capable of figuring out what you need. the question shouldnt be whether we all feel you should go to your sessions or not. the question should be asked of you whether you feel you need to go to the session or not.

only you can decide what you want to do with your life including things you want to do or not do for your mental and physical well being.

ask yourself whether you feel you are stable and no longer need a mental health provider to help you remain stable.

ask your self whether you need closure when leaving a mental health provider.

ask yourself whether you and your treatment providers have an agreement that you will contact them to discuss things like ending treatment.

ask yourself if the situation was reversed whether you would want the treatment provider to contact you to discuss terminating treatment with you.

all these questions and more that Im sure you can discover with in yourself will tell you what you need and what you should do based on what your treatment providers and you have for treatment and treatment relationships and what you want to do about your mental and physical health options.

dont rely on people on line who only know you by the things you post. I could say go to the session but that may not be the right thing for you, I could tell you dont go to the session but again that might not be whats right for you. the same with calling you treatment provider I could say call or dont call them but only you know whats best for you.

we cant make your decisions for you all we can do is support what ever decision that you make.

you know whats best for you so do what you feel is best for you.

Zoo, I understand about wanting to feel safe with your T. My current T is the only one I really, really feel safe with. You deserve to feel safe.

I have to go to sleep now. I don't want you to think I don't want to answer you again. It WILL work out for you, one way or another. Whatever happens is meant to be.

I sooooooo hear you on this! But- You being humble is a good thing Zoo - you will grow as a result of this.

Here are some really great quotes for you to keep in the back of your mind when you feel like you're just being a little too taken advantage of......

"Humility is the only true wisdom by which we prepare our minds for all the possible changes of life"- George Harless

"Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to change; where we are right, make us easy to live with." ~Peter Marshall

"Nobody stands taller than those willing to stand corrected." ~William Safire












WANTED TO ADD: Of course- one can only be humbled for so long before they completely and utterly fall apart. You hang in there my friend! you're doing really, really well- even though I know you don't feel like you are. I'm so impressed with you and your ability to look at what is happening from all angles and your willingness to let your pride take those hits is simply testimony to humility. ((((ZOO))))

(((kare)))

thank you. I can go to sleep thinking about the blessings of humility instead of worrying about trying to defend my pride. Much better.