less is more...

...at least in the case of any future sessions I may have with my therapist.

up until this point, she's had full 60 minute sessions at a set price. today she has reduced this to the standard therapy hour of 50 minutes... at the same price. there are very good reasons for her change and I understand that.

this change means that the allowed amount covered by my insurance company will be less and money out of my pocket will be more. I'm at the edge of being able to justify this expense... now i'm wondering if it (the sacrifices, the angst, the anxiety, etc) is all worth it. in this moment where I'm at, i'm really not so sure.

i'm very hurt, upset and i don't know what else about this - to the point of dissociation 'cause the emotions are so big. it's normal for me to not want to go to therapy but at this moment, it's bigger than that.

I don't want to see her, hear her, be in the room with her, see her come out for me in the waiting room - i want none of that. I. don't. want. to. talk. to. her.

am i just being ridiculous and over-reacting?

No, I don't think you're overreacting at all. You are entitled to your feelings and the way to get past them is to walk right through them. I'm sorry this is so hard for you. I do think there is something deeper going on...........why you don't want to see her, talk to her, etc. I'm confused about what that might be but I can sense that this is important to you because of your post. I would be disappointed about the loss of time. 10 minutes is a lot in a 60 minute session. She's cut it by almost 20%(if I did my math right) for the same price. Maybe it was a reminder of the nature of your relationship...........the money part? That she still gets paid. That is hard to deal with sometimes. However, I am sure she cares and has shown you that or you wouldn't be hurting. (((((((((((RRose)))))))))))

Hey Rainbow_rose,

i'm a little confused, was this your T decision or a decison made by insurance companies? or someone else?

I have/had 50 minute sessions but most of the time it goes over time by 5 or 10 minutes anyway. Often the 50 minute hour is actually so that the counsellor has 10 minutes leah-way time if the session runs a bit over the 50 minutes, as it often can, for the T do end and get ready for the next client. Both 50 or 60 minutes seems to go really fast though.

T is certainly not easy,

Is the fact you dont want to talk to her about this issue or about the boundary issue that you feel you bumped up against? or are they both the same perhaps?

You seem really unhappy and a bit angry too, which is ok to be!

thanks for the hugs!

oh ok thanks for clearing that up for me hun, I live in the uk so we dont do the whole insurance thing.

I can full understand why you feel sad and annoyed about this, I would too in this situation

She deserves to get paid, yes ... and I'm just a client, ya know? I'm just ... at a loss. thank you for the hugs and supportive words.

Did the bussiness like nature of talking about money and reducing time lead to you feeling today like you were "just a client" hun?

yeah .... (now I'm crying... sheesh. )

Aw Im sorry hun, I didn't mean to upset you more, I just wanted to understand how you were feeling and why you were upset.

I can fully appreciate and understand why today's session felt upsetting for you ((((huge hugs))). It's ok to cry and be upset.

On the positive side of things, this isn't anyting personal to you, this will now be the case for all of her clients, even though it does suck!

The theraputic relationship is probably one of the oddest ones ever, it can seem so personal and at times so cold and professional. I bet your T hasn't really liked telling clients this news, knowing it would upset them. It could be that she has found that she needs to do it to cover her own costs of insurance, liability, her own supervison etc. I know that doesn't really stop you feeling down about it.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I totally understand. I think if my T did this I would prefer maybe an e-mail so it takes the business out of the therapeudic relationship. Of course I would probably still be hurt.

My suggestion is stick with the rational side of things. You understand the reasons and the cost issue. I know this is hard when your emotions are ruling right now, but try not to let it ruin the relationship. Try not to take it personal after all I'm sure all the other clients got "cut" too.

((((rainbow_rose))))

dizgirl2011 - I know ... just hit a nerve, is all. no worries.

itsmeshorti - She did send out this information in an email and yes, I prefer that to hearing it in person. I just have to deal with it again in my session on Friday, since she will no doubt want to make sure I got the email. thanks for the hugs!

ugh. I'm trying hard not to be irrational right now but that's the smallest voice in my head.

thanks all for the support. it makes a difference.

(((((((((((RRose)))))))))

Remember that you have FELT that you are more than a client to her. If you had not FELT that, you would not be hurting right now. Try to remember the times you have felt most connected to your T. At least she is not cutting just your time, but everyones as well. If it helps, maybe bring it up with her on Friday at your appt. There is nothing wrong with being attached. You are more than just a client even though it doesn't feel like it right now. Sorry you are down.

I'm finding that very hard to believe at the moment. thanks for the support, swimmergirl.

in this space and in this time... it (therapy) just doesn't feel worth it.

I'm having trouble understanding why this would affect what your insurance would cover and why you would be out more money. Insurance companies don't generally make a distinction between a 50 minute session and a 60 minute session. They consider both a one hour session and reimburse at the same rate. Are you sure you are understanding that right? Doesn't make sense.

It's hard to explain but yes, I'm understanding it right - it's all in the code she uses that I input on my claim. It will be more out of pocket for me no matter what.

My T said the code is different when we have a shorter session......but I still pay the same copay and she just gets a little less from the insurance company. So, rainbow rose, I don't understand why it's more for you to pay when the session is less....that seems an odd way for insurance to work! But then I don't know much about insurance, just that mine is good.....and my copay is always the same no matter what! I don't understand why you would have to go to a shorter session either.....did T give you any reason for shortening the sessions?!
Anyway, I think it understandable for you to have the feelings you do, and how it would make it feel more 'business like and impersonal' rather than personal. But I also don't think it means that t doesn't care for you. many hugs to you!

rainbow_rose, I've wanted to post to you and introduce myself since I'm "rainbow" too. I love your rainbow rose picture!!

I hate it when I have to talk about money with my T. It makes me feel like I'm just T's "job" though I know I'm not, especially with my current T. I am sorry it's so hard for you. I also don't understand why you will pay more for 10 minutes LESS. It makes no sense whatever. It's backwards!

I hope you have a good session tomorrow and that talking about this change will help you feel a little better about it.

Changes are hard! And when it is a change that T makes, even a change across the board like this where it affects all of her patients, it can feel so personal and so hurtful.

I think it will all work out okay, but in the meantime, some hugs for you!

thanks, poetgirl. I appreciate it.

rainbow8 - hello and thanks for good thoughts about my session tomorrow.

echoes - thank you very much!

Thanks everyone for all the responses and the support. I greatly appreciate them.

I dread my session tomorrow. very very much.

hugs!!!!!

thank you! *hugs* back!

leaving in about 10 minutes. blech.

Good luck hun!! Let us know how you got on. I will be thinking of you!! I hope it goes well and that you leave feeling much better than you did after your last session!