would you facebook a mutual friend of your therapist?

I would talk to my therapist about it. Your being friends with someone she was a roommate of hers is not about your T!

One can only talk/be friends with/know other people one-on-one; there's no such thing a "group" interaction. I am writing this post to you, here, in response to what you said; others may read it but are not part of it! The same is true with friendships; you did not deliberately seek out friends of your T's to become friends of so you could know more about your T.

If you are uncomfortable, that is your discomfort, not your T's discomfort; talk to her and see what's how the two of you want to proceed with this, based on you and her feelings. If your 3-some wants to do a group thing, you can form private groups on facebook.

My former T's name pops up as a "person you may know" several times a week on my facebook page. The next time I write him an update about me, I'm going to tell him. It bothers me because I feel as if I've done something wrong, but I never have. It just happens.

I think you live your life... Bumping into one another is sometimes unavoidable.

wow- I would find this really awkward. I'd think it should really say: "person you don't really know at all, but who knows everything about you"!!

My T's 25 year old son pops up on my page as a "person you may know" quite often, but my T never has and no one else in his family or friends ever has, either. The only thing I can think of, since it's limited to his son, is that it happens because his son and my daughter have mutual friends and facebook thinks there's a connection there somewhere.

Someone may have answered this, but here goes. Can I friend my new friend, yet somenow block any of my threrapists posts that show up on her page? I mean, all of my friends would be able to see everything. I would see everything on her pages, except for anything my therapist posts.

Is that complicated?

Squiggle. if you just go onto your friends page and click on your therapist, there will be something that says block/unblock on the side. just click that. She will never know it was you. She wont receieve a notification or anything saying that you blocked her.

If you block her you wont see her posts on your friends page.

Sounds like that would be the best thing for you to do Squiggle. Just a thought...

Yes if you go to your T's page and block her, you won't see any of her posts anymore or see her on anyone's friend list. And she won't know you blocked her at all.

I need to do something. I am finding the obsessive need to check her out is more than I will be able to handle. I know that I am setting myself up to get hurt, upset, or shocked if I continue to do this.

I noticed that she does not post a reply but once every couple of months. Now I am unsure what to do. Block her? or just ignore this insane obsession? Or talk with my therapist on Tuesday?

I am afraid that if I tell her that I saw her posts, she may get defensive and think I was intentionally trying to find her on face book. I wasn't this time, but I have to admit that I have tried to look her up before.

This is making me feel awkard about our relationship. I wonder if I will feel differently when I see her this week? I wonder if she will be able to sense that? This is just a fine pickled mess I have gotten myself into!

I think that most T's realise how common it is for their patients to be curious and to look them up on the internet. My T said that she is aware that her patients often google her but are often disappointed because as I said there is very little of any interest about her on there.

Just block your t. Then you won't see any of her posts and she won't see yours. Simple solution. You'll still be able to Facebook with your friend.

sounds simple to me, too.....
I wouldn't FB a friend of my T....but then I don't think there are any worries about that. I don't even know any of her friends.....

I know this is a simple solution, but inquiring minds are hard to turn off. Who in the world would have thought I would be able to find my therapist on facebook? I have tried, but she must have some kind of block so that people cannot search for her. When I did that, nothing came up.

How odd are the chances that of all the women I could I befriend, I ended up with her college roommate? Nothing negative has really come of all of this, but I know that if you play with fire, you will eventually get burned!

I know that I need to stop this, but for some reason, I can't. Why? I may get my daughter to block her for me. I can't seem to be able to click that button. It feels like I am dismissing her forever. I know that sounds absolutley ridiculous, but I really feel that way. We are never going to be friends in RL, so what is up with these feelings that if I block her, I am cutting off my relationship with her?

Squiggle, I don't know if the reasons I can't stop the "searching" (see my thread on googling and other researching activities) are the same as yours, but I understand the compulsion to do it! Rationally you know that blocking her is not cutting off your relationship with her, but emotionally it seems like it is. I get that. It doesn't make sense, but the feelings just "are". I can feel your pain about it!

If you could talk to your T about it, you may learn more. I know that will be difficult, but I think it may be the only way you'll feel relieved. I'm sure your T will be curious about it, like mine, but she won't be angry. It's her job to help you with ALL of your feelings.

Squiggle, you could ask your T to block YOU from seeing her posts. I'm pretty sure that's something that can be done on FB.

About a year ago, my T's wife's facebook page was WIDE OPEN. I couldn't stand it. I didn't want to peek at his private life and it was sooo tempting. I told him that her page was wide open for everyone to see and she fixed it. Problem solved.

I talked with my therapist about this in my session today. I had written her an email, but decided to take it with me to my session instead. I wanted to see her reaction as she read it.

She said that she thought about this when I first mentioned that I had met her college roommate and that we were seeing each other weekly for a support group. She said that most people ask about facebook when they meet someone, so she thought it may come up that I facebooked this mutual friend.

She seemed okay with it all. But she did say that she would no longer reply to anything our mutual friend posted on facebook. She said that she would send her a private message. Like me, she felt that this was border line on a boundary that did not need to be crossed. She felt that it would hinder me. She is right about that!

I asked her how she would have reacted if I had known about this for months before telling her. She said that her first question would be what did I feel that I gained by reading her replies. And secondly, why did I not feel that it was okay to discuss this with her in the beginning?

It was all good in the end. She said that she was not going to unfriend her since they were friends. I guess this means that our friend can still post on her wall, and they can keep up with each other. The only difference is that she will no longer post replies on our friend's wall.

Boy, this gets complicated, doesn't it? This is why it is best to leave the therapeutic relationship alone! Like I said before, if there is anything I want to know about my therapist, I will ask her. I won't have to go searching for it on the Internet.

We do have a really good relationship. Did I just say the "R" word??? Maybe I am getting over my anxiety about that??

Well done Squiggle, I am glad that you were able to discuss this with your T today and that it went well and a simple solution was found. I am glad that you brought this up sooner rather than later.

Good stuff Squiggle!

Sounds like a very productive session, Squiggle. Very cool.

Knowing her college roommate is getting so strange for me. She told me tonight that she was having lunch with my therapist tomorrow. Why does that feel so weird!! Being friends with someone who is also friends with my therapist is odd!!

I think it is up to your therapist to set the boundaries, which she did. Sounds like a good decision made together.

I have been thinking about this all night! Why did this happen? I mean, of all the people, how in the heck did I meet one of her friends and end up meeting with this friend weekly for a support group? We talk about everything!!

Yes, I do talk about therapy. I try not to, but therapy is a huge part of my life right now. How can I be transparent in this support group and not talk about therapy sessions?

I am the kind of person that believes all things happen for a reason. I have yet to figure out why this happened. It shouldn't be such a big deal for me, but it is.

I just wish that I were not in this situation! I will more than likely talk with my therapist about this (again) in my next session. I can't let this hinder me!!