Fake

(((Silent))) What T said was painful because it was the truth I needed to hear.

Thank you so much for the encouragement!

I haven't read through this whole thread so forgive me if I somehow missed something or repeat something already suggested.

I think something that's been weighing on you for three years is very important. And, since it's been 'buried' for that long, and outcasted from therapy, it would be extremely difficult to bring it up. So I wonder about talking "around it" for the time being. Stating: There's been something I feel that I've been 'fake' about for 3 yrs. Something I have not talked about yet. Likely, what you can then talk about is the thoughts/feelings surrounding what it's been like not talking about it, what you envision happening if you do, etc.

That would be one way to start seeing you want to get closer to the actual issue.

Good luck to you.

I can't say that I ever get a chance to be fake in therapy, I tried it before but my T saw right through me. I used humour as my defense mechanism and she picked up on that right away.