[IceSickle]

I guess I'm still a bit new to therapy (this week's session will be my 4th), and I'd like to know if anyone had any tips on getting comfortable enough to say much of anything of value. The whole atmosphere seems too uptight to me. Perhaps it comes easier to other folks, but sitting with a stranger who asks really vague questions doesn't seem like my cup of tea. Maybe if there were toys or just something to keep my hands busy.. lol. But I think that would just freak my T out hahah. Maybe I could bring a yo-yo or something.

Anybody dealing with this problem? Any suggestions?

I am the Queen of doing different things!

*Bring a CD player/CD. Play a song that will help you relax
*Bring a pillow/blanket to cuddle
*Sit on the floor
*Take off your shoes and put on socks
*Walk around instead of staying in one place
*Bring a notepad to doodle on
*Change up where you sit
*Bring notes with you to help you stay focused
*Stand by the window and look out while you talk
*Bring pictures to help your therapist see into your life
*Bring a stress ball to squeeze
*Bring a favorite stuffed animal or trinket to hold on to

It took me a LONG time to get comfortable enough to do these things. At first, I was stiff as cardboard! My legs actually hurt from trying to be so still and poised on the couch! I finally got tired of nothing happening and told her I had to "Be Me". She sure saw a different person emerge! She was really quite pleased that I found the courage to do what I had to do to be comfortable enough to open up to her.

[dizgirl2011]

Originally Posted by IceSickle

I guess I'm still a bit new to therapy (this week's session will be my 4th), and I'd like to know if anyone had any tips on getting comfortable enough to say much of anything of value. The whole atmosphere seems too uptight to me. Perhaps it comes easier to other folks, but sitting with a stranger who asks really vague questions doesn't seem like my cup of tea. Maybe if there were toys or just something to keep my hands busy.. lol. But I think that would just freak my T out hahah. Maybe I could bring a yo-yo or something.

Anybody dealing with this problem? Any suggestions?

Hey there,

Since you have only had 3 sessions so far it is very common that you dont feel settled, it can take a while to build up a rapport with your T, that definately doesn't happen in only a few sessions and your T knows this. It can take people a few months to start opening up...everyone is different. If you would like to take something into your session to hold then that is completely ok...honestly it is!! Many people do this! Your T will not think you are werid for wanting something to hold. Many people fidget when they feel nervous and sometimes it can help to have something to hold.

xxx

[Elli-Beth]

I started opening up by showing my T things that I'd written down. It was important information about why I needed therapy, but I wasn't brave enough to verbally say it.

[granite1]

it's not easy.i have been going for a bit and still have a huge hard time.my T does differnt things to help.we played a game last session.we do art relaxation and movement.sometimes she does nothing and we just sit in silence for the session.can you let her know you cant relax and maybe she can try some of these things with you.i also love some of squiggles ideas.may steal some of those for myself.keep trying dont give up i'm told it is worth it

[WikidPissah]

It usually takes more than 4 sessions to settle in, at least for most people. There are some great ideas here, I usually email thoughts and issues once a week to give T a clue as to what I want to talk about.

[IceSickle]

Wow.. haha thanks guys! I'll definitely give something a try

[IceSickle]

In thinking about it, I must say that I feel I'm lacking the courage to take steps to make my therapy more meaningful.

All of your advice is really great, and I wish I had the courage to step right in and figure out exactly what makes me comfortable. I just have a weird fear of.. well I'm not sure.. appearing strange. It probably just takes some time to get used to it.

There are some small things I'd love to tell my therapist like: I really hate sitting on a couch, especially since it doesn't face my T. I'd prefer a chair (or better yet the floor is nice too !). I'm sure it's not so bad after I mention it, but just summoning the courage to speak up. MEH! >.<' Maybe the first step is the hardest.

[karebear1]

The first step is most definetly the hardest! I've been seeing T for 21 months now and we are just starting to talk about things that mean anything. For the several months I could hardly speak a word. Then, it took me about a year to be able to talk to her about everyday stuff, like what my plans were for the week etc. Now we are talking s-l-o-w--l-y about childhood issues. I needed to know my T before I could get to this point. I don't trust people easily and I didn't trust T easily. But, we've been through the good and the bad ( and boy- was it bad!) and T stuck by me and didn't abandon me, and hasn't abandonded me, and now I can talk to her about some things. It's not easy, but it's easier.

hang in there- you'll get there if you do.