i feel really stupid

seventyeight · Jul 15, 2011, 12:39 PM

granite, i know this post is a few hours old, but i thought i'd send you a little boost just in case you haven't gone yet. you can do it! your therapist knows you. she will be there to help you sort this out. the details of what exactly you're dealing with are almost inconsequential. it doesn't matter so much what you're saying, but that you're showing up and saying anything at all.

oh wait, i just read that the appointment is monday. hang in there until then, and try not to be afraid to post on here as much as you need to..

granite1 · Jul 15, 2011, 06:26 PM

i made it through the 4 hours and i only started to get upset once and i cried a small amount to muself and held it together

.now i need to get through 9 hours tomorrow and then things will change

rainbow8 · Jul 15, 2011, 06:56 PM

granite, you can do it!!! Hang in there!

rainbow_rose · Jul 15, 2011, 07:35 PM

thinking of you, granite!

WePow · Jul 15, 2011, 08:17 PM

((((Granite)))) You can do it. Do what you need to do to stay sane.
If you read back through my posts from last year and the end of 2009, you will see that I finally had a total breakdown and could not work. That is when I went on short term disability. My T put me on it. And even after I used up all that available time, I went back to work and had to work half days and use my vacation time for the other half of the day. There was NO WAY that I could survive while working. That is what short term disability is for though. If there is any way you could do that, you may want to ask your T and HR about it. If not, just realize that your sanity must come first.

BIG HUGS!!

granite1 · Jul 15, 2011, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WePow

((((Granite)))) You can do it. Do what you need to do to stay sane.
If you read back through my posts from last year and the end of 2009, you will see that I finally had a total breakdown and could not work. That is when I went on short term disability. My T put me on it. And even after I used up all that available time, I went back to work and had to work half days and use my vacation time for the other half of the day. There was NO WAY that I could survive while working. That is what short term disability is for though. If there is any way you could do that, you may want to ask your T and HR about it. If not, just realize that your sanity must come first.

BIG HUGS!!

wepow this is exactally how i am feeling like i jusst cant function at work.the problem is i cant open my mouth to my T about it at all.i tried a little last monday and now i am totally feeling yucky about it.but i know she doesnt get it yet that i havnt been able to go to work.i did tell her this but i think she missed it.in fact i think i have worked only 6her last week and none the two weeks before .using up all my sick time.i did get doc notes but i havnt even told her about my husband dragging me to the clinic and the meds.i dont even know if i should or if it would even matter or if she would care to know

granite1 · Jul 16, 2011, 06:38 AM

back to work today and than 2 days off and then my department will change if only the dep head would just not try to get me to talk to him again today ill be ok i think.now if only the panic about monday would go away

karebear1 · Jul 16, 2011, 09:45 AM

Good luck today granite. I hope it goes quickly for you.

granite1 · Jul 16, 2011, 04:50 PM

i made it through.in fact my mgr kept bothering me to talk to him about what was going on so i just let him talk away saying stuff like he doesnt want me to leave on such a bad note he feels bad he wants to know what went on etc...all about taking care of him and how he was feeling.i just let him have his moment and said whatever it isnt only about you and left it at that.can you believe i said that.it was only because i know i am never going to have to waste another breath on him again but it was good

googley · Jul 16, 2011, 04:53 PM

(((((((((((((Granite)))))))))))

Good job!

granite1 · Jul 17, 2011, 08:05 AM

i have to go to T tomorrow and i am so worked up even with meds i didnt sleep well lastnight and my head is spinning a lot today and i am talking myself out of skipping it so hubby is taking me outside for the day to play in some waterfalls.it will help clear my head and all .i so love him and wish i was able to talk to him about all this stuff.he so much just seems to roll with the punches

rainbow8 · Jul 17, 2011, 09:33 AM

I wish I could go play in the waterfalls with you, granite!!!! I love water but there are no waterfalls near me.

Enjoy your day!!! You'll get through tomorrow when it comes.

googley · Jul 17, 2011, 09:43 AM

Hi Granite,
I agree with Rainbow.

I think your hubby is wonderful.

Have fun in the waterfalls!

granite1 · Jul 17, 2011, 05:34 PM

it was such a good day why does tomorrow have to come.if i am this scared to just go to T is it really a good idea to go i really dont know how can this be helpfull.for some reason i am totally terrified to go and i cant even figure out why.at this point i am hiding in my craft room for the night

.i dont know what to do

sittingatwatersedge · Jul 18, 2011, 04:07 PM

hi there, hope you are in a good place now.

karebear1 · Jul 18, 2011, 06:41 PM

How did today go granite??

Sannah · Jul 18, 2011, 06:49 PM

I'm glad that you told her that you hate people. This is being honest with what you were feeling in that moment. This is good that you trusted her enough to be so open with her. Now you are suffering because you think that she is judging you? I'm sure that she has heard this before and she is familiar with people feeling this way. You are not a bad person granite.

protector1973 · Jul 18, 2011, 06:51 PM

nobodys perfect

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