[SoupDragon]

I have been seeing my T (a male) for over a year - he saved my life really and he has been so patient with me. I think there is a lot of stuff I can work through with him, so sticking with it. However this weekend I did a group workshop (my T doesn't know) asI want to challege myself a little more in my relationships with other people. There was a male and female therapist. The female therapist was great, so different from my T (my T is great too, just a very different approach) - she was I guess more motherly and I have never had that in a woman.

I am wondering how it would be to keep with my original T, but see this other therapist occasionally. I know the stuff about not seeing two T's at the same time, but then today thought - well "normal" families have 2 parents and the children seek different things from each parent and that works - is this any different?

Naturally I can't talk to my T about this he may abandon me

[skysblue]

Would you get confused who you said what with? (hey that was a cool sentence). I have no idea what you should do. I saw a specialist for about 3 sessions; my T knew about it and I knew it was a temporary assist in a particular issue. I wonder if you just addressed one issue with the extra T? It seems really complicated because all issues bump into the other issues. I'll be curious what you decide and how it works for you.

[WePow]

The best thing to do is talk to your T about this. I have heard of people who have two Ts - usually one for a special issue. My T wanted me to do this, but I was too afraid. But from what I heard, it can work. Also, the other T (if ethical) will not work with you if you are under the care of another T unless that T has signed off on it.

Bottom line is that you can indeed benifit from having two Ts. But you have to be honest with the one you have and let him help you work into this option.

[Omers]

I wouldn't do it behind my current T's back... She would stop working with me. I think though if I explained to her that there was a male therapist that could help me in was she couldn't she would at least be open to talking about it.

[SoupDragon]

Think I was hoping for "Yes of course that would be Ok and it would also be OK for you not to have to talk to your T about" - but of course you are all right - thank-you for bringing me back down to earth - SD

[PTSDlovemycats]

SoupDrqagon I saw 2 T's at the same time for about 5yrs. One was a Pdoc that prescirbed my meds but I saw both of them for therapy. It got confusing at times and became quite expensive but overall it was ok. They both knew that I was seeing the other. Good l uck with your decision and let us know what you decide.

[nannypat]

I have two Ts.I have my p/doc who I see once a week who does my meds and does therapy as well because he feels he needs to know how I function in life to know how the meds are working. I have been seeing him for about a year and a half after having lost my last p/doc of 20+ YRS. He is also a specialist in SA which I didn't think I would ever talk about, but I have started to.
My other therapist is a cognitive therapist. I have been with her for many years. They know each other and actually worked together at one time. They not only know I see both of them but they both have signed releases to talk to each other from me. They work as a team for me and I trust them completely. When one is on vacation the other will fill in with an extra appointment.
I know this seems like a lot of therapy but it has kept me out of the hospital during some very difficult times.

I think it could be okay if your current T is on board with the idea. At one point, I was going to go to another T for a specific issue while still seeing my regular T. It was not an issue for her..but thats my situation. I think the best thing to do it be honest with your current T. Figure out exactly why you may want to see this other T in addition to your T before you talk to your T about it.

[sunrise]

SoupDragon, if you think it will work and both Ts think it will help, then go for it. Especially if you see your male T for individual T and the female T for group therapy, it would not be a problem at all (although I know you didn't specify this).

In addition to seeing my individual therapist, for a while I saw a family therapist together with my daughter. My own T was fine with it (he gave me the referral). One therapist cannot always handle all your problems. In family therapy, we pretty much stuck to mother-daughter stuff. There was not a conflict with either my individual therapy or my daughter's individual therapy with her own T.

Right now I see my T as well as a PNP. Usually with the PNP we just do meds, but she is also licensed to do psychotherapy, so sometimes we have a meds+therapy session. It has not created any conflict. I get different things from her than I get from my T. The topics we discuss have very little overlap. She is the more practical T, and will help with things like how I can make inroads on getting my home organized, or things I can do to help myself focus better. Because she is female, I also find myself telling her some things I might not automatically bring up with my male T. Like female physical symptoms.

Once when I was going through something super hard, I coincidentally had appointments with my T, my PNP, and my family T all in one week. Wow, that was great, and I never felt so supported as then!

SoupDragon, I think the best thing is to discuss this with your T and see if he has any concerns.

[elliemay]

Oh good lord! I can barely handle one therapist. I can't imagine adding on the baggage of another.

I mean, when do you say enough is enough.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by elliemay

Oh good lord! I can barely handle one therapist. I can't imagine adding on the baggage of another.

I mean, when do you say enough is enough.

lol - I guess I could just see how I could work through different things more easily with each - they both have different strengths in terms of where I am with my stuff. I am still with the parent thing and how we have a relationship with both parents and may seek different things from each and we don't then have a conflict of interest - neither of my parents were very good at their job in terms of meeting my needs.

I've had 2 T's. In one experience it was great. They talked a lot to each other, and were clear on what T works on what issues, and they never really got in each other's way. In another experience, my most recent one (See thread: On Friday, I'm Throwing Up, for details LOL), it's caused a huge rupture and blow. There's that saying "Too many cooks in the kitchen", and it's true.

Therapy has many different approaches. To have 2 therapists, means you can kind of "run back and forth between them, for whoever gives you the answer you like the best", which will create tension.

I've had to do co-therapy with a therapist, I dislike it. Because, I like MY approach with my clients, and the person I had to do it with did not get along with me at all. And with a T that's worked with you for a while, they may be working towards something, setting a foundation, and this other T may have very, very noble intentions to help, but end up shaking that foundation.

As with anything - talk with your T openly and honestly about it so you can decide together. Some T's will NOT allow another T in the mix. It's not ethical...

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by stormyangels

I've had 2 T's. In one experience it was great. They talked a lot to each other, and were clear on what T works on what issues, and they never really got in each other's way. In another experience, my most recent one (See thread: On Friday, I'm Throwing Up, for details LOL), it's caused a huge rupture and blow. There's that saying "Too many cooks in the kitchen", and it's true.

Therapy has many different approaches. To have 2 therapists, means you can kind of "run back and forth between them, for whoever gives you the answer you like the best", which will create tension.

I've had to do co-therapy with a therapist, I dislike it. Because, I like MY approach with my clients, and the person I had to do it with did not get along with me at all. And with a T that's worked with you for a while, they may be working towards something, setting a foundation, and this other T may have very, very noble intentions to help, but end up shaking that foundation.

As with anything - talk with your T openly and honestly about it so you can decide together. Some T's will NOT allow another T in the mix. It's not ethical...

But is it a therapists role to give us answers or purely help us find our own?

Of course it is guiding you to find your own answer, however, that's like asking 2 guides to take you on a journey. You cannot follow both of them, right? You have to stick with one or stick with the other. Unless they agree to really work together to offer you different options.

Now, if it's individual therapy and group therapy. No problem. It's done all the time. But still is something IT needs to know about. Because he needs to be aware of what's going on somewhat.

It's not so much having 2 T's, it's making sure the T you have is open and willing to allow another T in the mix.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by stormyangels

Of course it is guiding you to find your own answer, however, that's like asking 2 guides to take you on a journey. You cannot follow both of them, right? You have to stick with one or stick with the other. Unless they agree to really work together to offer you different options.

Now, if it's individual therapy and group therapy. No problem. It's done all the time. But still is something IT needs to know about. Because he needs to be aware of what's going on somewhat.

It's not so much having 2 T's, it's making sure the T you have is open and willing to allow another T in the mix.

Thanks for clarifying this some more - I still have a little - well I guess "resistance" to this - like this is about me, why should my T have a say, why should I share this with him, it is my decision blah, blah, blah...the most interesting thing I remind myself, is my reaction to it - hmm wonder what that is about for me - so thank-you for stirring my soup a little and giving me some stuff to really think about - SD

[MASIMO]

I have my regular T and my PDoc who does some general therapy with me and med review. They are both on the same page, and one relies on the other. If you are
thinking about see another T it makes me wonder if you feel something is lacking with your current therapy. I'm tempted to see a woman a few times, since I have transference issues with my male T. I would not inform him unless I planned to make a switch. I dont see anything wrong with testing the waters for a short time.

Prior to my current T I saw a LADC to deal specifically with my Husbands alcoholism and then I started to see my current T to help me deal with my specific issues.
I think they complimented each other. They were able to share info about me but they were addressing different problems.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by MASIMO

I have my regular T and my PDoc who does some general therapy with me and med review. They are both on the same page, and one relies on the other. If you are
thinking about see another T it makes me wonder if you feel something is lacking with your current therapy. I'm tempted to see a woman a few times, since I have transference issues with my male T. I would not inform him unless I planned to make a switch. I dont see anything wrong with testing the waters for a short time.

Prior to my current T I saw a LADC to deal specifically with my Husbands alcoholism and then I started to see my current T to help me deal with my specific issues.
I think they complimented each other. They were able to share info about me but they were addressing different problems.

Thanks Masimo, I do feel quite stuck with my T - I totally respect him and it has taken me so long to get where I am now with him, that I wouldn't want to give that up - I do think he knows me and that would take a long time to rebuild with someone else. Plus he has sat with me in the darkest times and someone else would not know that bit of me, which I think is an important bit.

I want to share more with him, but I just don't know how to do it. I just thought that a few sessions with another T may help me in being more honest with him - I guess someone to "hold my hand" to make me braver.

However maybe this is something that I need to do on my own, find my bravery myself - maybe that in itself is part of the process.

[Wren_]

Hi, I have two which works well for me. I found that the work in both is so different and that the two styles complement each other in a way that means things are addressed from the outside in and the inside out rather than just one or the other. Main problem is it's incredibly expensive but for now it's what I need. Because of the differences in style and focus I don't get confused by having two. I think if you were doing similar things with both therapists or if they were working against each other eg. one saying do something and the other saying don't do that same thing then it would get nightmarish; but it could be worth checking out. Do let them both know though. Mine know of each others existence although I try to not say much more beyond that

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

Hi, I have two which works well for me. I found that the work in both is so different and that the two styles complement each other in a way that means things are addressed from the outside in and the inside out rather than just one or the other. Main problem is it's incredibly expensive but for now it's what I need. Because of the differences in style and focus I don't get confused by having two. I think if you were doing similar things with both therapists or if they were working against each other eg. one saying do something and the other saying don't do that same thing then it would get nightmarish; but it could be worth checking out. Do let them both know though. Mine know of each others existence although I try to not say much more beyond that

Thanks tigergirl for this, to show that it can work and can actually be helpful.