does telling your t stuff ever upset them

so much that you can clearly see that they are sad or upset. just wondering. i dont say much in t. but what i do say or how i act sometimes seems to affect my t this way. i think i almost make her cry sometimes. is it possible im affecting her this way or am i just misunderstanding.

I've upset my ex- T in ways that were inappropriate on HER end. Her not being able to manage her emotions and own triggers.

There are times I move my T. Move her in a way that saddens her. She will cry with me at times. She is human... So when something I share is intensely sad, she is sad with me. It's not so much that I make her sad... It's that we are so intimate in our time together, she sees my pain and feels it.

I think there are appropriate ways to be sad/upset together... And then, there are not.

i think it's possible. My T once told me that I have made her tear up a few times before. She's said that's never cried with a client though. I am sure most T's even if they are moved by the moment, they are able to take care of themselves.

I forget the official term for it, but they do try to listen with like an open mind, not anticipating where you're going, and let their own reactions just happen inside. But also, some people are just easier criers than others, knew a girl in grad school, cried buckets even at happy movies, so... But yeah, my T's cry, get mad, laugh at things in my life.

Trigger warning (abuse):
I agree with stormy. This is so how my T is. Even when she tries to not show how upset she is for me I can still tell because her nose gets red and her eyes have a little pool of tears. She got really angry at my mother (whom I have not seen in years and don't care to) when I told her how my mother would hold me down while she let men molest me. My T was very angry and expressed how sorry she was that my mother had done that to me. I love my T and when I see her react in an emotional way with empathy for me it touches my heart and makes going through all of this pain a little more bearable.

She's a 100% sweetheart and so amazing. She tells me not to worry about her, because she can absolutely handle anything I tell her. She encourages me to NEVER hold back if I need to share anything with her. She says she can take care of herself and that she employs good self care and doesn't internalize her clients' pain, but she has enormous compassion and empathy for us.

Well, one time I wrote a letter to my T and read it to her in a session(this was a while back): I said I hated her for something. Anyway, the next session I told her that it was my angry teenager self talking and that I didn't hate her, I loved her. She thanked me and started crying. Ts are human and the good ones really want to connect with us.
My T has cried with me before and this has touched me deeply. I would never want to hurt or upset her.

Old T and new T have both teared up a few times.

My T has been moved enough to show emotion several times, but it's usually anger or sadness for me and the situation I was in. And she tells me that - she tells me that she's angry for me - and it actually helps me a lot. It validates that what I'm feeling isn't unfounded, that I have a right to my anger or sadness, and that someone else sees it and understands.

I don't think I could handle a T that was a blank slate. I've spend my entire life reading people, trying to figure out what they're thinking, so I know how to act. I need to be able to read my T, and I need her to show emotions, even if I'm not using to determine how I act. It would be too hard for me if she didn't show any emotions.

I don't think my T has ever been upset AT me for something I've said.

I've seen times when my T's been upset at me (not with).
lol.
But she usually takes anything I say in stride.

See, that's awful (((((peridot))))), I just teared up a little bit reading that. I can see why it would make some clients uncomfortable to know their t's are human but at the same time I think there can be tears for different reasons... tears of commiserration, tears of protest, tears of being moved... I think it's all good as long as it's not like, the T drowning out the client with their sniffles.

Yes, I have told my T stuff that upsets them and it is reassuring to know they are not just a robot and just doing their job out of duty. It makes me feel more ok having feelings if it's mutual.

thank you everyone
now i know its ok and she is being appropriate. it was just scaring me because i didnt understand. she did ask me how it feels to have someone care. and i said its hard. probably not the right answer. but its what i said.

((((((peridot28)))))))

I just want to remind you that there is no right or wrong answer regarding our feelings. They just "are." You said what you felt so it's right for you. I also find it hard to have someone care, so I think your feelings are more usual than you think.

very early with t, he cried and i did not like it at all. i just wasn't used to anyone crying, let alone someone i was talking too. didn't even understand why he was doing it.

i have finally cried in t, didn't like that much either

You're not alone in your feelings. The times I get most emotional in therapy are when my T shows that she cares for me or when she validates my feelings. I get teary eyed and choked up over it.

I've always been surprised when my T has gotten angry over a "story" I told, especially if I thought it was normal and not abusive. It took years for me to understand that anger is a normal reaction to abuse. I still rely on would T be mad at this? to validate that I'm allowed to get mad. ((Peridot 28)) ((suzzie))

When I told my Pdoc that I didn't trust her anymore and wanted to see somebody else she started crying. I felt awful.

Seems I just get told, "Your burning me out." "Only 2 calls per day now".

I saw once in his eyes that he was influenced by my story- actually I thought he would cry- and reacted pretty badly, told him it is his job to be strong and I am gonna terminate if he would do this again, that he is bad T and so on and on.
I know (and knew then) that I was being cruel. But I felt so vulnerable in that moment and ashamed and I needed to hold my composure.
I never apologize for that, I wish I could but I am too scared of him starting to express his emotions again. I hope he understands.

It would freak me the heck out if T cried or even "welled up". Thankfully he hasn't done that yet. He laughs with me though.

My t is generally a rock of strength, but one day I was talking about how my sister was dying and my grief about that and he did cry some. I was touched by his compassion.

You were being honest so it was the right answer for you.

In today's session I told my T a few things that I had been holding inside.. something seemed off with T. I thought her voice sounded weak. Her eyes looked teary. At one point I looked up in the middle of talking and she was pinching her nose... it looked to me like she was holding back a full blown sob...

Now I wish I had brought it up with her because I don't know if I was imagining all of this, or maybe she had a cold. To me it looked like she was crying. It was confusing. I am confused. Do you think it's possible that I imagined that? Is this something I can ask her about? Anyone else had this happen?

Last session my T. and I were discussing talking about some difficult things and my anxiety about going there. I was discussing the worst things that could happen...I mentioned crying and said that I don't seem to be able to cry in front of anyone. He said he wasn't just anyone.
Then he asked if it would upset me if he cried. I said no because he had already teared up a few times when I was talking about CA....ironically for me it was just facts...

So yes I know some T. tear up and cry with and for their clients.

My T just admitted yesterday that I make her anxious...because she knows from reading my journal that I'm not doing anywhere near as well as I appear to be from the outside. This difference between actuality and projection seems to cause HER some anxiety too.

if its hard, then that is absolutely the right answer.