Do we need to talk about the past?

(Not sure if this has been asked before.)

I am 6 months into T and we haven't talked much about the past at all. The main goal was to stabilize my anxiety and severe depression, and give me some tools to help with it. I am making progress in that area. But I have always felt broken and like I am missing pieces inside. Do I need to talk about past trauma to heal that?

I can't even imagine doing it.

I am afrid to ask T.

Maggy Jo

I think it helps to get stabilized whether it be on medication or whatever, but feeling a bit more solid before you start talking about the past. I know some methods don't ever think it is necessary to talk about the past, but I have had to. There was to much of my self concept destroyed by things that happened from such a young age that they are embedded in my core beliefs that have effected many things in my life. I haven't talked about every gory detail, but enough to try and understand how things have form how I think of myself.
I would ask my T what the game plan is. Do they think it would be helpful even though it is not easy? Maybe they feel differently. Asking for their Educated opinion is why you are there. That"s why they went to school. They should be honored for you to ask. Don't be afraid. Good Luck!

thank you for posting this, I have wondered this too, is it really needed to? But I guess in my situation maybe due to I want to know how can I lift the baggage from it... Thank you again.

I think it depends on what type of therapy you are doing, and what you, specifically, need.

For me, I needed to talk about the past, because I never have, and I needed someone else to bear witness to my pain. I needed to understand why and how past events impacted me. It took me a good year before I trusted my T enough to really explore the past with her, though.

For others, addressing the past may not be a priority. If they just want to work on changing behaviors, and are more solutions based, then talking about the past may not be needed. If you can manage things and change behaviors without looking at the past, then that's great...it can be done, it's just not for everyone. Just as talking about the past isn't for everyone.

I think that if you want to be totally free then it is required. Our pasts planted beliefs about the world and ourselves in our minds and hearts and unless you want to keep fighting all these messages, you have to go in there and uproot them. Also if in order to not get triggered you have to work through the past to release those feelings so that they won't be triggered up. Finally, stored feelings cause trouble like depression and anxiety, etc. Releasing this baggage does wonders for mental/emotional health.

My T focuses on the here and now, but (I think this is the theory) if when talking about the present, past thoughts, feelings are triggered, then it may be useful to explore those bits of the past as they may be affecting the now - also many of our patterns of behavious are embedded in the past and to learn deeply about how we act / behave "now", gaining insight into the origins of these behaviours may be useful in changing these patterns. Not sure if that makes any sense???

I am getting better at getting things straight in my rational head and understanding the process, but to actually talk / feel the past is very scarey to me too. I have not got there yet, but from being in a place 18 months ago where even touching briefly on such things was way out of bounds, I am starting to get a little more confident and now think yes maybe I can at some point. But that slight confidence has only come in the last couple of weeks, now that my low mood / anxiety has got a bit better.

Good luck - I try to have faith in the process and tell myself I will know when the time is right. SD