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Old Aug 08, 2011, 09:41 PM
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dismissed feelings dismissed feelings is offline
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I was talking about my day and I work close to Ts office and because of what I was saying T realized I worked nearby as well. I was vague on my application as I am in social services work. Well, with talking about work, etc. T has asked me if I work where I do. I asked why T wanted to know and T smiled and said, "So I can stalk you" with a big grin - not serious . I told T I did not want to say because it might be T knows my boss, etc. IRL and may not know them like I do. I worry this might make T think differently about what I say/my issues/concerns if T's limited view of the person is different.

I really do NOT like that T knows where I work. I feel like anything I say may be compromised if T knows someone that knows me or if we run into the same client, T gets my paperwork in a referral, etc. What if I had a typo? Am I being too concerned about this? T tried to confirm the location twice in the same session which bugged me and so I gather T knows now from things I've said even though I've never stated the title of my office. Oh well. It does bother me, though. I guess I should bring it up again. Or should I?

Last edited by dismissed feelings; Aug 08, 2011 at 10:44 PM.

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  #2  
Old Aug 08, 2011, 09:52 PM
Anonymous32910
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My t used to work in the school district I work; in fact, he worked in my school at one time and we do know a lot of people in common. It really has never been a problem. I'm not sure what exactly you are afraid will happen if he knows where you work.

T has also had several of my students as patients and we've actually run into each other in the waiting room. Even that has never been a problem. T spoke to my students and to me, and the students and I were always very respectful of each others' privacy.

And I know he has several other teachers as patients. I don't know if I know them or not, though it really doesn't matter.

I have always found me t to be able to deal with me and who I am and what I am going through without his perspective being affected by any knowledge he has about the people in my life and work. A good t will be able to handle that with no problem.
  #3  
Old Aug 08, 2011, 09:57 PM
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granite1 granite1 is offline
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i would think if you respectfully said that you would rather not say that it should be the end of the subject unless you bring it up again
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  #4  
Old Aug 08, 2011, 10:18 PM
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dismissed feelings dismissed feelings is offline
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That would be way too weird for me!! I would feel as though they had less faith in me if they knew I am in therapy. Yes, I know that is too simplistic but still. I would not trust them to keep it a secret. I guess I could always say/act like I was there for an internship, etc.

My current ridiculous job is a big part of what drives me nuts in the first place! LOL It's one of those jobs where outsiders think it should be a great job and once inside we all learn we are going to be constantly overworked, criticized by those in other offices who often know less than we do, and stressed out constantly. They do not tell you all you need to know about overtime, etc. in the interviews or honestly very few would ever agree to work there.
  #5  
Old Aug 08, 2011, 10:22 PM
lunarpariah lunarpariah is offline
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It seems odd that she would press you on the issue if you clearly do not want them to know. It may be that the T thinks talking about work will help you progress. But if that's the case I'd think she/he would just tell you.

I had to share all that with my T since work is where I have the most difficulty.
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  #6  
Old Aug 08, 2011, 10:29 PM
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dismissed feelings dismissed feelings is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by granite1 View Post
i would think if you respectfully said that you would rather not say that it should be the end of the subject unless you bring it up again
The problem is T figured it out by me bitxxing about it so much. I tried hard to avoid names/places but the nature of the work is pretty rare and known in medical circles. I guess I just need to reclarify boundaries, etc. to make myself feel better.
  #7  
Old Aug 08, 2011, 10:33 PM
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dismissed feelings dismissed feelings is offline
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Possibly, I do talk a lot about work but it is just a symptom/result of how I screwed up my life due to other things from my past, etc. I would never have gone to work there had other events not occurred. I am just plain angry I am stuck there for the time being. It still sucks as a job, though. I have to pretend to be interested/happy, on board that it is exhausting and I do not feel like myself there. Too much extraversion and estrogen for me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lunarpariah View Post
It seems odd that she would press you on the issue if you clearly do not want them to know. It may be that the T thinks talking about work will help you progress. But if that's the case I'd think she/he would just tell you.

I had to share all that with my T since work is where I have the most difficulty.
  #8  
Old Aug 09, 2011, 01:09 PM
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skysblue skysblue is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dismissed feelings View Post
I asked why T wanted to know and T smiled and said, "So I can stalk you" Have you seen this T for a long time? This seems like a hugely inappropriate thing to say, especially when you conveyed your concern. Right there is a sign that sharing anymore with T would be difficult.with a big grin - not serious . I told T I did not want to say because it might be T knows my boss, etc. IRL and may not know them like I do. I worry this might make T think differently about what I say/my issues/concerns if T's limited view of the person is different.

I really do NOT like that T knows where I work. I feel like anything I say may be compromised if T knows someone that knows me or if we run into the same client, T gets my paperwork in a referral, etc. What if I had a typo? Am I being too concerned about this? T tried to confirm the location twice in the same session which bugged me and so I gather T knows now from things I've said even though I've never stated the title of my office. Oh well. It does bother me, though. I guess I should bring it up again. Or should I?
Well, you said the cat's out of the bag but it seems like you really need to discuss this more. And also, explore why he mentioned stalking and how it made you feel.
  #9  
Old Aug 09, 2011, 01:19 PM
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Elana05 Elana05 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dismissed feelings View Post
"So I can stalk you"
That is not funny.
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  #10  
Old Aug 09, 2011, 03:35 PM
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Omers Omers is offline
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Almost all my T's and I have some kind of "out of the office overlap" and it was never a problem.
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  #11  
Old Aug 09, 2011, 08:32 PM
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dismissed feelings dismissed feelings is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue View Post
Well, you said the cat's out of the bag but it seems like you really need to discuss this more. And also, explore why he mentioned stalking and how it made you feel.
We joke around a lot which I like and I think he was trying to see if that is what I would think, not to make me feel weird. I will clarify this issue though.
  #12  
Old Aug 09, 2011, 08:39 PM
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laceylu laceylu is offline
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maybe she wants to know so she can maintain her boundaries if you work in the same area.
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  #13  
Old Aug 09, 2011, 09:00 PM
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dismissed feelings dismissed feelings is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laceylu View Post
maybe she wants to know so she can maintain her boundaries if you work in the same area.
Never thought of it that way! You could be right as I get paperwork from Ts all the time on clients and my paperwork occasionally goes to them if the client chooses or they need our data. I will ask asap. Wish I didn't have to wait so long to ask all my questions from last week!
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