Question About Skills Learned In Therapy Translating to "Outside" Life

I don't want to go into too many details other than to say that I had a phone session with my T today to discuss/work out something that was said in session yesterday(I think I accidentally misinterpreted it). Well, the conversation was great and really touched on one of my main core issues: communicating honestly with others(in this case, T) without fearing that they will shut down/abandon me. It was great! So I was wondering if anyone else has experienced a core issue being worked on in therapy with their T that they then were able to take out into the "real world". I would love to hear some great stories about this - thanks!

I'm sure there's other examples, but as I slowly learned to open up with my T, it started to spill into real life. Like I can remember the first time, I let my husband see me upset/sad and I was able to let him hug me. It was weird, but kinda nice and I think he had been there all along ready, I just didn't let him be. One of those a-ha moments if this makes any sense. It's still difficult, but the more I've done it in small ways, it's becoming a little easier.

I learned in T that I had needs and that it was okay for me to have needs. T taught me that my needs are as important as everyone else's. I learned to ask T to meet my needs, and eventually, I learned to ask H and my friends.

I learned that it's okay to be authentic, and to just be who I am.

My brain is a little fried but those are two big things that I can think of off the top of my head. I know there are many more.

I had to think about this for awhile because I've reached a point in my therapy where just about everything I've been learning in therapy transfers over into real life. There is a lot to choose from.

Probably the healthiest thing I've learned to do is have healthy, appropriate boundaries and stand up for myself in situations where someone is crossing those boundaries. I've used that skill with my family, and I've used it at work. That's a biggie because I hate conflict and when someone crosses your boundaries, some level of conflict is pretty much inevitable. Thus, I used to just let people walk all over me. Now I am able to communicate to people what I will and will not do (and the world hasn't come to an end.)

Well, a fledging skill that I have been able to implement is being able to set my own boundaries with other people and not feeling as guilty about it. T has been teaching me that it's o.k. to have needs. I'm still struggling with this a bit but I am moving forward.

And when I exercise that skill, I am like a little kid running to Mommy to show off. And I did that with T a couple of months ago. I was so excited that it went o.k. when I set my boundary and I was able to do it without fear or guilt. You should have seen the proud look on T's face when I told her. It is great to share with T our little (or large) triumphs.

I thought of another one...being able to stay in the "middle", not black, not white. And learning to ground myself when I have big feelings.

SO grateful for therapy and T!

I am struggling with this right now. I am letting T, Pdoc and massage T closer than I have ever let anyone/see the real me not the act I put on every morning. I want SO much to be able to practice IRL... But as I looked around there was no one it is safe with. So I brought it back to T and she agreed I was using good judgement and keeping appropriate boundaries (T actually knows about 1/2 of my friends and the other 1/2 are just like the first).
So... Now we are looking at how to attract healthier friends so it is safe for me to be a healthier person with them.

All of these are wonderful examples - I especially relate to the posts about settings boundaries.