[SoupDragon]

I guess I had thought that I would do "therapy" and then I would be fixed and life would be great. I am now thinking that life is a "life long" journey of ups and downs, celebrations and disasters - so I am therefore assuming that T is just about learning a bunch of tools to use and not about making life perfect and painless. That's a bit depressing

[sittingatwatersedge]

SD - it is how you tell the journey from the journey's end.......

maybe it will cheer you to think about going through life having the tools you will need, instead of not having them.

In your life you will be meeting so many people who don't have them, and because of it will suffer so many more painful, dangerous infections from life's cuts and bruises than you will.

You actually thought life could be perfect and painless? Sounds like you are settling into seeing things realistically instead of imagining a fantasy. Consider that a good thing. When you have the tools and skills to manage and cope with life's inevitable ups and downs, THAT makes life so much better. Just time to do some reframing of your ideas about therapy.

[Perna]

For me, the whole perspective changed; yes, life has ups and downs but because of how well therapy went, it's not as painful now in ways it doesn't have to be, no triggers or misunderstandings based on previous experiences. People still live, die, get divorced, lose jobs, etc. but it's easier to deal with those "actual" problems without my old baggage.

[Wysteria]

Hi SD-

Actually I find it a gift to learn how to deal with people and my own emotions so that I am not always afraid and so that I see things more in perspective so everything does not always seem so enormous and so distorted. I think therapy is all about connection and learning how to reach out and find that we are Not alone and the we can share our burdens safely and find that we are not so different from millions of others on this planet. Then learning how to deal with the situations and pain in a meaningful way to reduce the hurt and increase the joy and gratitude for what we DO have in life.

Am I there yet...oh..H*$%, NO!! But at least I see the differences, can share/reduce my pain, get glimpses of what it is like to handle things better, and feel my heart expanding....

"You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself."
- Galileo

I wish you only peace and healing and the gift of hope for better tomorrows that start today...

Huggles,

Wysteria Blue

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

SD - it is how you tell the journey from the journey's end.......

maybe it will cheer you to think about going through life having the tools you will need, instead of not having them.

In your life you will be meeting so many people who don't have them, and because of it will suffer so many more painful, dangerous infections from life's cuts and bruises than you will.

Yes maybe the tools will help me to think differently about the events and that in itself may make them more positive experiences which leave less bruises. Thank-you. SD

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

You actually thought life could be perfect and painless? Sounds like you are settling into seeing things realistically instead of imagining a fantasy. Consider that a good thing. When you have the tools and skills to manage and cope with life's inevitable ups and downs, THAT makes life so much better. Just time to do some reframing of your ideas about therapy.

Yes - maybe I was / am very naive - I have had so many awful events over the last 10 years on top of earlier life stuff and it really brought me to my knees - I did want life to be more rosey. But you are right, that is fantasy isn't it? Could happen that I win millions on the lottery, but highly unlikely. Just seemed so unfair that I faced so much and I wanted the scales to be re-balanced with good stuff - but I accept I have no control over that and life may just keep throwing the bad stuff my way, so it is that I need to learn to deal with. Thank-you for your reality check - SD

[unaluna]

At first glance I thought you wrote your T was a tool.

I feel like my T's job is, I'm this big block of marble and he's chipping away everything that isn't the beautiful sculpture that is me.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Wysteria

Hi SD-

Actually I find it a gift to learn how to deal with people and my own emotions so that I am not always afraid and so that I see things more in perspective so everything does not always seem so enormous and so distorted. I think therapy is all about connection and learning how to reach out and find that we are Not alone and the we can share our burdens safely and find that we are not so different from millions of others on this planet. Then learning how to deal with the situations and pain in a meaningful way to reduce the hurt and increase the joy and gratitude for what we DO have in life.

Am I there yet...oh..H*$%, NO!! But at least I see the differences, can share/reduce my pain, get glimpses of what it is like to handle things better, and feel my heart expanding....

"You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself."
- Galileo

I wish you only peace and healing and the gift of hope for better tomorrows that start today...

Huggles,

Wysteria Blue

Yes I have been very afraid, there are many things I still find difficult (like using the phone) and I have never had anyone that I have felt close to, to share things with - hoping the "relationship" with T will help me to learn to do this.

Once I did get to a place where I was actually thankful that I had experienced these horrible things. I met a woman that had Downs Syndrome, she was so beautiful, trusting, gentle, pure - I looked at her and found myself feeling so deeply saddened - here I was feeling angry, scared, lost etc.. because of my life experiences, but here was someone else who may never have those opportunities - to experience a sexual relationship, to have a baby, to get married, to go to a beach in Gambia, to own a horse - yes those experiences were (are) so painful for me as they didn't result in a wholely good outcome, but at least I had the opportunities and for that surely I must be grateful.

Thank-you for your kind wishes, yes maybe looking for a more peaceful way of being and trying to form connections with people should be at the top of my agenda. Soup

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by Perna

For me, the whole perspective changed; yes, life has ups and downs but because of how well therapy went, it's not as painful now in ways it doesn't have to be, no triggers or misunderstandings based on previous experiences. People still live, die, get divorced, lose jobs, etc. but it's easier to deal with those "actual" problems without my old baggage.

Thank-you Perna - yes I have a lot of baggage and maybe dumping it on poor old T, will allow me to function better without misunderstandings - I had been seeing things more clearly, but my head is in a bit of a cloud today, maybe that is why it is a little harder right now. Thank-you for sharing that your perspective changed and that your therapy went well, I think I need to be more patient with myself right now.

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by hankster

At first glance I thought you wrote your T was a tool.

I feel like my T's job is, I'm this big block of marble and he's chipping away everything that isn't the beautiful sculpture that is me.

Thank-you Hankster - you've made me smile in that you are able to see that beautiful part of you inside - maybe my marble is a little thicker or lead coated - but yes maybe I need to let T just keep chipping away and all will be revealed.