This week my daughter told me about an inappropriate incident with my husband while he was visiting here at our home...I immediately told her that this was wrong and noone has the right to treat her this way..I then called her therapist(for 2 years now), explained what happened and requested an immediate appt..The next morning I went to my own therapy session and told my T about what happened..She accused my husband of being a P and said that I should make an appt with my daughters T..She also said that I should maybe report it to the authorities here. I asked if it was illegal and she said it was inappropriate..I then said that I was afraid my husband would commit S, if I reported it, but that I would talk to my daughters' T and do what was right..This was my second session with this T..I met with my daughters therapist 2 days later.She had a regular session with my daughter and then I went in..She repeated the same thing that my daughter had told me and I had told my T.. She also said that the authorites here would prob do nothing about what happened because though it was inappropriate, it was not illegal..Well my T reported it to the authorities here, and added to the story...There is one thing that would make it illegal and s/a here(touch) and she reported that this happened...I NEVER said that to her..I called my daughters T the night my daughter told me what had happened and never said this...My t session was the next day, and I never said that...The authorites are involved now, and I have the actual report..My T did not repeat what I said...the story has been embellished...She also reported that I did not want the authorities to be notified which is not true..I was sharing my fear in my own therapy session with my feelings about what my husband would do..Never did I say that I would not or did not want it reported..I also signed a release that day so my T could speak with my daughters T..I am now being investigated which honestly doesnt upset me..At least my county takes these things seriously, and children are safe..But I am so very upset..My T (who I will no longer see) reported a lie..The comment about touch was never uttered from my lips...and because she said it to be truth,it is the reason this is happening..I can deal with that, but I am seriously considering filing a complaint with my state..THIS WAS AN OUTRIGHT LIE...I shared with this T that my H liked when I was skinny and she said that was a sign of a Ped...I am struggling with this...really need some advice...Should I just let it go? But when I think about doing that, I think about how I have kept silent my whole life...thank you for any advice?

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING, YOUR T DID THE WRONG THING. REPORT HER. XOXOXO PAT

[DaveyJones]

Amen!! Always do what you know is right!

DJ

[majella]

Well ... I'm not sure what you should do, but I know if I was in your situation, I could not let it go without first talking to my t and seeing what on Earth she has to say for herself!

Maybe she misunderstood the way you explained the situation ... but that is a HUGE misunderstanding to make, that's for sure!!!! The difference between hearing somebody tell you something that happened that is LEGAL (but inappropriate), versus something that is ILLEGAL - that's a BIG thing to get confused with!

I think as to the issue of whether I would report my t or not, it would be dependant on what she had to say for herself. I mean - you WILL have to go on record saying that what your t said WASNT the truth as you told it to her ... and if she deliberately misreported you, then I'd be wanting her to take responsibilty for her actions.

Good luck with this climbingkit - I'd be interested to see how it turns out, and I hope that this situation is resolved in a way that turns out well for you AND your daughter

[hereiam]

Maybe your T just wanted to make sure some charges were brought against this guy. Not saying it wasnt extremely wrong and unethical, but in some *** backwards way, I can see where she's coming from. How many other young children has your husband done this to if he has the gall to be inappropriate with your own daughter?

I think you should definitely get it straightened out, but maybe charges against this guy arent such a bad thing.

therapists are mandated reporters. Regardless of how little or alot the inappropiate action from the abuser is. My son went into foster care because I became suicidal. One of the first things I was told at intake for therapy and on and off during my sessions is that there are certain things in the united states where a state board certiied and or liscenced therapist must do and that is report any thing that contains comments or known actions of emotional, physical or sexual abuse to or on a child.

In your post you don't say that you were present when the therapist did her mandated by law report. So Im assuming you were not present and are going on the info from someone else (possibly child protective services) contacting you for questioning.

I can tell you regardless of what my past therapist stated in court and or to the then caseworker, that case worker made things out to be worse then they really were and tried to split my therapist and I by saying my therapist said this and that when she didnt, basically trying to get me to - one not to trust my therapist and two trying to force me to admit to things that didn't happen. That caseworker eventually got fired in part for making false statements about me and the case to me, my therapist and others on the case.

The best thing you can do is not fly off the handle, remain calm so that the investigators that will now be looking into the situations will see you are sticking to what is true regardless of the wrenches they throw into their questioning. They are going to be looking for anything not only about the situation but any high emotions from you that could lead them to think you are unstable or that the situation is a false accusation done in anger and so on. at your sessions with your therapists you can clarify the situation with them.

[jennie]

climbingkit . . . I bet the therapist has unaddressed issues from her childhood and went wacky on handling this professionally. I, personally, wouldn't do anything in regards with the counselor. How do you prove she lied? I would focus all my energy on my daughter and her needs, period. This is about your daughter, not the crazy counselor. (((((((many hugs to you and daughter)))))) These are difficult times for you both. But, stuff like this can make your relationship with your daughter strong, if you stick by her.