[suzzie]

last week my t had to cancel the session on the day of the session for an emergency. she wasnt able to get a hold of me. so i showed and found a note to call her. she thinks it was her fault because she couldnt get in contact with me before leaving and said our next session would be no charge.

but i really think it was my fault and not hers. she did all the right things for the situation. she had mentioned about the possible emergency my last session but i totally forgot that discussion until now. i didnt check my email before leaving. and i had my phone turned off. i left too early for the session making it further difficult to contact me. i did all the wrong things. i really should check my email every time. its just being responsible.

i dont think the session should be no charge when i was the one who was wrong. i want to pay for it. but dont want it to come across as rude. i dont want to insult her or anything. but i dont want to take advantage of her generousity either. i want to do the right thing.

i go to t tomorrow morning.

[crazycanbegood]

Originally Posted by suzzie

last week my t had to cancel the session on the day of the session for an emergency. she wasnt able to get a hold of me. so i showed and found a note to call her. she thinks it was her fault because she couldnt get in contact with me before leaving and said our next session would be no charge.

but i really think it was my fault and not hers. she did all the right things for the situation. she had mentioned about the possible emergency my last session but i totally forgot that discussion until now. i didnt check my email before leaving. and i had my phone turned off. i left too early for the session making it further difficult to contact me. i did all the wrong things. i really should check my email every time. its just being responsible.

i dont think the session should be no charge when i was the one who was wrong. i want to pay for it. but dont want it to come across as rude. i dont want to insult her or anything. but i dont want to take advantage of her generousity either. i want to do the right thing.

i go to t tomorrow morning.

your T cancelled the session. it doesn't matter if you found out before arriving or not. you are not obligated to pay, since you were not the reason it was cancelled.

it may make sense to check your voicemail before going to T, especially if its a distance from home. don't be so hard on yourself though. it's fair to assume that sessions will always occur at their scheduled time.

[sunrise]

I think you're focusing a lot on who is right and who is wrong. Things like this happen on occasion, despite everyone's good intentions. It's just a foul-up (hopefully, a rare one). I don't think you did anything wrong. Your T didn't do anything wrong either. She just had an emergency and so had to cancel. She couldn't get a hold of you in time to save you the trip. You don't need to make it into right or wrong to justify whether you should accept the next session for free. (I am assuming you were not charged for the missed session.) Although I don't think it was absolutely necessary for her to offer her next session free of charge, it shows she does think your time is valuable and realizes you took time out from your busy day for nothing (and perhaps lost money at work because of it).

She has offered, and you can either accept or turn her down. I think it's possible to do either graciously. You worry you will be rude, but this can be done politely. I can see the decision going either way. But I don't think it should be based on whether you think you were "wrong" or not. These mix-ups happen.

If this is a decision that you are agonizing over, or if you are stuck in the "I'm wrong" thinking, I think it would be good to talk to her about this. It sounds like it might be important to you and the relationship.

For the record, my T and I have had several session mix-ups. There have been times when we each were "wrong", but we don't dwell on that. We reschedule an appointment as soon as possible. T has not offered to give me a free session to make up for it, but he has apologized before (and so have I). And sometimes I think he has made accommodations in his schedule to get me in sooner than he would have otherwise. But I don't think this is the only way to handle it.

Good luck tomorrow.

[Flooded]

I wouldn't pay.

[Liam Grey]

Originally Posted by suzzie

last week my t had to cancel the session on the day of the session for an emergency. she wasnt able to get a hold of me. so i showed and found a note to call her. she thinks it was her fault because she couldnt get in contact with me before leaving and said our next session would be no charge.

but i really think it was my fault and not hers. she did all the right things for the situation. she had mentioned about the possible emergency my last session but i totally forgot that discussion until now. i didnt check my email before leaving. and i had my phone turned off. i left too early for the session making it further difficult to contact me. i did all the wrong things. i really should check my email every time. its just being responsible.

i dont think the session should be no charge when i was the one who was wrong. i want to pay for it. but dont want it to come across as rude. i dont want to insult her or anything. but i dont want to take advantage of her generousity either. i want to do the right thing.

i go to t tomorrow morning.

You are overthinking.

No session cause she cancelled=no need to pay anything.

[sunrise]

Did I misunderstand? I thought it was the next session (your session tomorrow) she was offering to give you for free? If you meant she offered not to charge you for the session you missed, absolutely do not pay!

[ECHOES]

You aren't responsible for being available to anyone, for them to advise you of an emergency change of plans. There really isn't any reason to determine fault or blame here - an emergency is just one of those things that happen in life and is not within anyone's control.
She would like to make it up to you for her being unavailable without notice and for your inconvenience. It would be so kind of you to let her do this because this is what she says she would like to do about it.

[Wren_]

I think it would be great if you could accept her generosity and use the time to talk about some of the things you raised here including the difficulty in doing that and the feelings of being wrong and responsible it's a nice offer from her, and one she is willingly making so it would be good if you can take her up on it

[skeksi]

Even if she had gotten a hold of you, you would not pay. You pay for a session, a service. If that service is not provided, you do not pay. (If you cancel on short notice, then you may pay, because your T was ready to provide the service, but that's the only situation).

I think T has canceled on me three times, for a variety of reasons. Every time, we schedule a followup session and I pay for that one, not the one that was missed.

Sunrise has a good point about your wanting to find right/wrong. Talk about it with your T. I wonder if you often worry about making sure you take on your fair share of the blame for things. It can be hard to let other people take responsibility for their part in a mix-up.

This is a very nice gesture on your T's part. Very professional and courteous. Accept her generosity without trying to make this somehow your fault. It wasn't. It was just one of those mix ups that happen once in awhile.

[Chloe2]

Does she have a cancellation policy that applies to you, where you would have had to pay for the session? If so I believe you are not responsible for covering the next session. Really nice of her to offer, I don't think many would. she obviously feels bad about it, accept it, but yes, as tigergirl said, talk about it with her.