[mcl6136]

Okay, I spend much of my time in therapy laughing. Making dumb jokes, telling funny stories and even the memories of my traumatic background come across as ....funny.
Does this mean I'm not comfortable with my t? I've posted elsewhere about his tendency to do things which (I believe) are meant to get reactions from me, mostly of anger, I think.
Any thoughts? Some of our explorations have been quite valuable, but I do feel funny about not being "serious" enough about topics that are quite grave....er, well, I could make a joke about that, too but I will spare you.
Feeback welcome, seriously folks....

[Hope-Full]

I know I use humor to cover up lots and lots of things - oh, like feelings, emotions, fear, hard things to talk about, all that good stuff... I'm good at distracting people from whatever their original question was, so I can avoid answering it... I too, make my background sound funny, even though it was far from funny... it's a way I have learned to deal with the harshness of my past without letting it overwhelm me.

Thankfully, my T doesn't let me get away with this anymore. T gives me a few minutes to settle in and get the giggles out, before diving in and getting to work.

So, well I have no advice for you, I do understand where you're coming from!!

[SallyBrown]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

Okay, I spend much of my time in therapy laughing. Making dumb jokes, telling funny stories and even the memories of my traumatic background come across as ....funny.
Does this mean I'm not comfortable with my t? I've posted elsewhere about his tendency to do things which (I believe) are meant to get reactions from me, mostly of anger, I think.
Any thoughts? Some of our explorations have been quite valuable, but I do feel funny about not being "serious" enough about topics that are quite grave....er, well, I could make a joke about that, too but I will spare you.
Feeback welcome, seriously folks....

I know I use humor as a defense. A LOT. It is actually starting to bother me, because sometimes I can unconsciously become preoccupied telling funny stories instead of talking about what I really need to talk about! I'm half Irish, and I have to say, the Irish are EXPERTS at using storytelling and humor to cover up anything serious or negative that's going on. And that's exactly what my family does.

There was an interesting interview with Artie Lange (formerly of Howard Stern fame), I forget which NPR show it was... anyway, he can really tell a great story, but also has serious addiction problems, and talked about how he tried therapy but in the end just wound up telling entertaining stories the whole time instead of really talking about anything. It was his way of avoiding it.

Anyway, I can't say exactly why you're doing what you're doing, but for me, since childhood I have used humor to defuse tense situations, set people at ease when I'm first meeting them and we're both nervous, lighten up sad situations, and yes, avoid talking about what's really going on inside of me. But as Freud said... there's no such thing as a joke!

Does this touch on anything relevant for you?

[mcl6136]

Being serious about being funny helped me...just to post a note about this and find some common ground with others out there. And yes, your note struck a chord with me. I am also half Irish and in my family, I was the entertaining one who defused situations.

However, I'm wondering if the joking actually can keep me involved enough without having things overwhelm me (as another poster remarked).

I'm glad I could discuss this in the forum. I actually have a bit of shame around it, and see my joking as a weakness and there are times when I actually feel it diminishes me, and works for keeping other people comfortable when i am NOT!

Well, this thread seems to be a gathering place for the Irish .... me too! Irish - yes. Using humor as a defense - oh yeah!! Plus I often laugh when I'm nervous - last session I kind of got a fit of the giggles and was afraid I was going to start laughing hysterically and not be able to stop. My T knows what's going on because he intentionally uses humor - often, actually - when he senses things are a little too intense for me.

I know I'm using jokes, etc. in therapy as an avoidance tactic. I haven't talked about it with my T, but I'm working on it myself. Maybe I should bring it up? Hmmm. Anyway, you're definitely not alone!

[PTSDlovemycats]

The short explanation is that it is a defense mechanism to cover up exposing your real feelings. It is fairly common. I used to do it a lot early on in therapy only I was unaware of it...