[peaches100]

Do any of you ever bring your significant other to therapy? If so, how do you feel about it? Every so often, my h wants to go with me. He'd come every month if I'd let him. And once in awhile, every 2-3 months, i let him come with me. But whenever i do, i can't help feeling down, kind of depressed, because it feels like i am giving up my own session. Sometimes, the hour is spent talking more about him and his issues than about me or us. My h used to have his own t, but they terminated awhile back. I've been trying to talk him into getting another one, but he doesn't want to. But then, he wants to come with me to my t. I feel like i need to share her because my h also has issues and gets depressed. But i don't want to sacrifice my personal sessions! I feel really selfish, and feel bad about it, but it's how i feel.

[skysblue]

I would never ever never share my session with H. If he wants therapy, he can find his own therapist. Nice of you to share but obviously it's not working. What does your T think of you bringing him?

[SallyBrown]

It's not selfish at all! What you describe reminds me of a friend of mine I had that loved to borrow other people's stuff. If she liked it, she'd borrow it again and again. Yeah, sure, it's cold out and she needs a jacket -- just like your H might need a therapist. But that's why we all have our own jackets. If my friend borrows my jacket, then what am I wearing? Am I supposed to have another jacket on hand just in case she borrows mine? Does it make me selfish to want to have my favorite jacket that I worked hard to pay for all to myself?

Ideally I think your H should see a different T, but even if he really really wants to see your T and that's ok with you -- tell him to schedule his own sessions! Sheesh!

I'd NEVER share my session with my husband. No way!!
T says if she ever met him she'd yell at him anyway
Thats MY time in there... I dont want to share it with anyone.

When you have a joint session, try to make it a separate session from your own personal session. That way you still have your private time with your t, and your joint session is specifically for that purpose. That should help some.

My husband and I have the same T. We both see him individually. On occasion, we schedule a joint session, expressly for that purpose in addition to our private sessions.

[Flooded]

Originally Posted by peaches100

Do any of you ever bring your significant other to therapy? If so, how do you feel about it? Every so often, my h wants to go with me. He'd come every month if I'd let him. And once in awhile, every 2-3 months, i let him come with me. But whenever i do, i can't help feeling down, kind of depressed, because it feels like i am giving up my own session. Sometimes, the hour is spent talking more about him and his issues than about me or us. My h used to have his own t, but they terminated awhile back. I've been trying to talk him into getting another one, but he doesn't want to. But then, he wants to come with me to my t. I feel like i need to share her because my h also has issues and gets depressed. But i don't want to sacrifice my personal sessions! I feel really selfish, and feel bad about it, but it's how i feel.

Tell him to get his own t and stop interfering with yours!

Peaches, i can understand the feeling of feeling selfish. my youngest son (21) was having problems and i asked t if i could bring him to session, t said yes, so we both went. T helped my son a lot, and i was glad BUT he only spoke about ten words total to me. i was soo hurt, angry, and selfish. my "son" needed help. i decided after that that if my son wanted to go back, he could schedule his own sessions with t, and if we needed too, we could even schedule a joint session, but i was not going to do that again. made me feel so very insignificant....

[rainbow8]

When I decided to bring my H to therapy, my T said I could see her privately on another day. We did this twice. It was beneficial but it was also triggering for him to be there so we haven't scheduled another couple's session since the first two.

Can you afford to see your T another day in the week when you go together? if so, does your T have time to schedule you twice in one week? I totally understand the way you feel. I hate to share my T!! I do feel the sessions were productive, though, because we discussed our issues in our marriage.

I don't think it's right for your T to discuss your H's issues during your joint session. Did you tell her your feelings about it?

[purple_fins]

H and I went to a different therapist for marriage counseling and H continued to see that T. for a short time.

The T I'm seeing said she would never put anything between her and I, (maybe she realizes my struggle to keep up trust and also how I could go into invisible/quiet mode with having to "share"-- I'd let him have the whole hour) also, similar to SarahMichelle's T.-- The T. I see said she would like to strangle my H....

I think your husband, if he wants to see that T., he should have his
own appointment-- would you be OK with that?

best to you

fins