[SoupDragon]

So for a host of reasons, I felt really up for talking about anything today (well almost) - so I told T this.

So I started talking about one of the things from the safe but T told me to slow down, that we shouldn't cover it all in the session today and it may take a few sessions to cover the issue I wanted to discuss.

I think I understand why, but I am left with all this "fizz" in me - stuff that wanted to come out, but is left inside.

I so recognise that all or nothing bit in me again, either I can't talk about these things or I want to talk about them completely.

Can anyone else relate to this? Would appreciate hearing others experiences.

[Omers]

Yes, I have a very hard time putting things "back in the box" if we have not gotten all the way through it. I've gotten better but a lot of T's had a very hard time with me because I HAD to go all the way through before I would leave.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

I so recognise that all or nothing bit in me again, either I can't talk about these things or I want to talk about them completely.

Can anyone else relate to this? Would appreciate hearing others experiences.

Sometimes once I have managed to broach a difficult topic and we really get going on it, I just want to continue and get it all out. Take advantage of the breach in the dam. I have been trying to talk about a certain topic in therapy for years, and finally got it out, and the conversation was going so great, and then we had to end the session. I told T I had so much more I wanted to tell him on this, and he said he looked forward to it. By the next session, I was heavily into my father's decline toward death and the next sessions were spent on that and grief. And we never got back to the topic. Now the dam is closed again? I don't know. It's hard to go back to it. The moment has passed? It's all in my head, I know, SoupDragon, I think we just have to be strong and raise the topic again, maybe even if for some reason we don't feel we want to talk about it at that moment again. Just forge on and try it. Good luck.

[Wren_]

I don't do well with those times at all; usually it ends with me in tears and all over the place ... and I end up thinking I should never share again because it's just too hard and nobody wants to hear (if they did I could have kept going) etc. I don't react well at all; I know a lot of people journal at such times and that helps them but for some reason I block that do you try journalling at all soupdragon?

[SoupDragon]

Thank-you Omers - yes I get that "I have to" bit - maybe I should have been more forceful with T?

Sunrise - My life is so chaotic and full on most of the time and there has always been the daily stuff to talk about. I thought this week, what if there is always stuff going on, it is not productive for me to use that time every week to talk about my week as I will never move forward - so made a conscious decision regardless of what had happened this week, to focus on the big stuff instead. I am just hoping that I can maintain this strength for next week, so thank-you for your encouragement - I shall forge on and try to.

tigergirl - Yes I have journalled in the past, but haven't for a while - that is a good idea in getting it out, thank-you. It did feel that T didn't want to hear what I wanted to say. Also I wanted to protect him, I didn't want to worry him. I knew that I was OK to talk about it, but I think T was more concerned that I may get triggered by it and was being ultra careful - that also then made me more worried - I still think I could have got it all out and am left feeling frustrated - I think I felt like a bouncy dog wanting to run, but being held back by a strong lead - and next week seems sooooooo far away.

Thanks for all your responses -

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by SoupDragon

Sunrise - My life is so chaotic and full on most of the time and there has always been the daily stuff to talk about. I thought this week, what if there is always stuff going on, it is not productive for me to use that time every week to talk about my week as I will never move forward - so made a conscious decision regardless of what had happened this week, to focus on the big stuff instead. I am just hoping that I can maintain this strength for next week, so thank-you for your encouragement - I shall forge on and try to.

SoupDragon, I think that is a great plan. Talking about the daily stuff can indeed impede progress on the big issues. It isn't without value, as you get support, but yeah, I think it can be really productive to leave the daily stuff out of your work for a while. Or leave it for the last 5 minutes if there is time, and if there isn't, then just don't mention that stuff that session. I think you may be in for swifter progress if you take this tack, so be prepared--whooooosh!

[SoupDragon]

Originally Posted by sunrise

SoupDragon, I think that is a great plan. Talking about the daily stuff can indeed impede progress on the big issues. It isn't without value, as you get support, but yeah, I think it can be really productive to leave the daily stuff out of your work for a while. Or leave it for the last 5 minutes if there is time, and if there isn't, then just don't mention that stuff that session. I think you may be in for swifter progress if you take this tack, so be prepared--whooooosh!

Shall brace myself for the whooosh! Thank-you

[skysblue]

I don't understand why T advised you to wait. The intensity builds and it's waiting for release and you're told to stop? When I've had big issues to share and talk about, it would have been torture to spread it out over multiple sessions. Why couldn't you express it all at once and then spend the next few sessions exploring it more fully? What was his reason?

I have had T tell me to wait with sharing some tough stuff because she didn't think I was ready yet. And she was right. She could read my body language. But to begin and not be able to finish? Oh, man, I just can't imagine how hard that would be.