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#1
Aug 31, 2011, 12:10 PM
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All,
After a lot of soul searching I've decided to move on and end therapy after eight months with my T. It's been a very mixed bag, with some clarity around one problem that I came with, but now that we're moving onto issues of relationships with men, I feel totally unable to open up to a male T who is as unsupportive and (I've posted about here before) manipulative as he has turned out to feel for me. Basically, I'm through. I'm very sad about this, but feel the relationship is beyond repair. I have tried to turn this into a more supportive therapy but his distant and silent style don't seem to be open to change. My question is, after last night's session, which was a bomb ( I mean bomb!), do I call him today and try to schedule something to get this behind me (I'm thinking of one closing session), or do I just attend our next regularly scheduled session in the middle of next week? I don't want to face the long weekend with this hanging over my head, but this is definitely not an emergency. Any thoughts? Please help....I'm really upset in light of last night's session, which made me feel really awful. Got no sleep and want this behind me, but I want to handle this in a respectful and kind way....the way I would prefer to be treated. |
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#2
Aug 31, 2011, 12:17 PM
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I would give it a call and try. If he can/will fit you in then go for it.
__________________
There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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#3
Aug 31, 2011, 01:06 PM
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Quote:
ugh. turns out I'm dreading either way. I think it's best to get it over with.....from a bomb of a session to bombs away! |
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#4
Aug 31, 2011, 01:13 PM
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Hi, what I am slowly learning is that everything is relevant and useful. How many people IRL are perfect? So if we work with the perfect T, what does that teach us? Also I remind myself, although T may be the strong one in this relationship, actually they are being paid to provide a service. So for me if I was clear what I wanted from a final session I would go. This is all relevant work if we take the time to reflect and be aware of our experience, even if this is with a T we have outgrown. Good luck. SD
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#5
Aug 31, 2011, 01:29 PM
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I know the feeling!!!
__________________
There’s been many a crooked path that has landed me here Tired, broken and wearing rags Wild eyed with fear -Blackmoores Night |
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#6
Aug 31, 2011, 06:27 PM
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mcl, it sounds like you want to have a final session, so go for it! I think it is good to get closure. If it were me I would just wait until my next regularly scheduled session, but that might just be because my T can generally not fit people in on short notice, so I am used to thinking why bother calling then. But if your T tends to have an open schedule and you want to go sooner, then by all means reschedule. Good luck.
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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#7
Aug 31, 2011, 06:43 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara Don't ever mistake MY SILENCE for ignorance, MY CALMNESS for acceptance, MY KINDNESS for weakness. - unknown |
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#8
Sep 01, 2011, 10:09 AM
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All --
Thanks so much for the support and wisdom. As it happens, this forum helped me so much that I'm tackling the weekend and then having THE TALK next week. I have done some good thinking as a result of these discussions and have alot more focus than before...next week's session is going to be...I hope...a set of questions about how my T and I may be able to work together OR NOT. I think I now know what I need from a new T....much more input, some support and much more active therapy. I did not know this before. I cannot tolerate his lack of affect, huge silences. When I ask, at the beginning of the session, how are you....he says OK and nothing more ever. I need someone who is much more collaborative and active and supportive. His Freud impression is just getting old. I guess I'm still thinking it's over but I want a chance to say what I need. Someone posted, a while back, it's okay to have needs and that is something that's taken me years to understand and even if it's in a closing session, I NEED the chance to STATE MY NEEDS. These are new points of clarity for me and I'm glad I went through the process with you all! Kathryn |
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#9
Sep 01, 2011, 10:30 AM
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Sounds like a great plan. Well done for being able to recognise and acknowledge your needs. Good luck. Let us know how it goes?
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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