[learning1]

My last therapy session 2 weeks ago, and family stuff this weekend, were both really difficult. I thought probably I wanted to talk to t about some of those things. But on Sunday I realized that with the events going on this week before my session, my feelings probably won't be in that difficult place. That's a good thing of course. I sure don't want to feel lousy just for the purpose of being in that place for therapy. My question is, should I still go back and try to talk about those things?

I've been thinking I should try to talk more instead of just letting t make all the effort to initiate topics because when he does that sometimes I can't follow or understand what he's talking about. Should I just talk about whatever comes to mind when I get there, even though it'll likely be about the previous night's entertainment, or something that I think is a lot less relevant to therapy than the other stuff?

One of the questions I think I should ask is if he even thinks I should be doing therapy with him, because that has really been on my mind pretty often since the last session. But if I'm in a good mood that day, I'd be getting myself into that difficult place just for the sake of therapy so I can ask that question. But it'll suck to keep wondering if I don't ask. Back and forth, back and forth. thanks for Any ideas

[ECHOES]

Whatever is on your mind is what is helpful to talk about in therapy.
You want to let your therapist know about having been through a difficult time, and you can do that even when you are not in the midst of the difficult feelings.

I used to want to be in a difficult place for my therapy session, because I wanted my therapist to somehow relieve the intense and difficult feelings. It took a while to learn how to talk about those times; it took practicing doing that.

Yes, let your T know when you aren't following him. I tell my T sometimes that she's lost me, or that I feel like she's talking over my head.

Yes, talk about anything. When I wanted to begin talking in therapy, after 9 months of not talking much at all, I told my T that I'd decided that even if I come in and talk about baking cookies (it was Christmas time), then I would at least be talking and that's what I wanted. It really did work to get the momentum going.

Ask every question that comes to mind. It's all important.

In therapy, you just "Begin where you are", and talk about "Anything and everything". It's all important and meaningful.

[Sannah]

I made the most progress by talking about my relationship difficulties IRL. I really hope that you bring up this stuff to discuss in session.

This is your therapy, please take the reigns and lead your sessions.

[learning1]

talking about baking cookies, yum. thanks you two.

[Wren_]

I think that what you talk about really depends a bit on the relationship you have and the level of trust etc. for some people they find it easy to jump into the deep end and share there and it might be the most productive for them; for others talking about cookie baking might be where you are at as far as seeing if your T is safe to share with and trust in the little things before moving further. Or ... there's the other question of balance; where it might mean sharing some surface level things like the movie you just watched; and then sharing more of the difficult stuff. I've found somethings even in what feels light at first ends up being powerful and healing; and that also the times I have the better sessions are when I'm feeling safer and more secure and more an even footing to address difficult things. When I'm in the midst of it, it can just be trigger upon trigger. I know some people seem to benefit from writing down what they want to talk about; I don't and often flounder around which isn't that productive at times.

[SoupDragon]

For me it has been really important to talk about the daily things. Both because I have had a really lousy time lately and T is my only form of support - the daily stuff was having a significant impact on me and over time I have learned ways of dealing with my feelings / thoughts and more able to function on a day to day basis. However I have also realised that life is unpredicatable, it can through all sorts at us and I don't want to have to keep seeing T for the rest of my life to talk about the daily stuff. Therefore currently I am making a conscious effort to not talk about the day to day stuff and look at the bigger past stuff - as T put it - to look at the roots rather than the branches.

I also think though, talking about the day to day stuff has actually been instrumental in buiilding a relationship with T to the point that I may now be able to share the other stuff with T.

So I think talking about day to day stuff has it place.