[TerryL]

Hi there - I have been struggling for 3 years with guilt issues over my mother's death and have tried 3 grief counselors and one therapist to no avail. How does one find the right therapist? I don't have health insurance and don't want to waste my money on the wrong therapist. Thank you--

[Butterflies Are Free]

I am glad you posted this. Many therapists will talk to you on the phone and some will even do a first session for free to see if you think they might be a good fit for you.
Also, some therapists put their names out on the internet so you can find out a bit about their background.

[ECHOES]

I would begin by researching types of therapies and types of therapists. One place I did that was : www.guidetopsychology.com

The therapist who is 'right' for us may be the first one or not the first one we see. You have to go and talk to them and see how it feels to you, really.

You can check out some therapists using the Find Help link at the top of this page. You search by city, etc. and get a list with brief info and in most cases a picture. Many therapists have their own websites with more info about themselves and their approach to therapy. As others have said, you can pick one (more) and go to one session and see if you feel comfortable with them. Nothing wrong with "interviewing" T's, considering that it's going to be a rather major financial investment. I'm sure you'll find someone that will be a good fit - maybe not the first, but keep looking. Good luck!

[mcl6136]

I am not writing to add to your pressure and I think you're reaching out for input to a great group of people. I want to say, though, that I wish I had done LOADS more interviewing and visiting Ts before I settled into what has become a bit of a morass for me. I wish that I had looked into the schools of thought on therapy much more than I did. I think it's great to go with your gut and all of that, but in the wake of my own grief issues, I chose a T who is not at all what I'm after in terms of theoretical grounding. In retrospect, I would have been much better off with someone from a Humanistic perspective or CBT but I ended up with a (somewhat neo)-Freudian who did not fit at all. And now I'm trying to de-tox from that!

You gotta shop around, and I applaud you for sticking with your search instead of settling for someone who could be quite damaging! Also, try to reach out for word of mouth...by going to groups or posting online and checking out reviews. And do the due dilgence by checking to see if anyone in your doctor's office might be able to make a referral. In the past, I have found that PA's can be good sources of great info. Hang in there....your search is KEY to finding the right fit. Once you do, I think you'll have a better trip through this whole process. Blessings, MCL

[Wren_]

Hi, you've been given lots of good advice already, one other thing that comes to mind is that you said you've seen a few different people already. Maybe you could think a bit, and write down also, about why they weren't helpful and what you are looking for in a therapist and then share that here so people could give some direction about the type of therapy you want your new T to practice? there are so many different therapy styles; and if you know something doesn't work, narrowing down a little more what might could help in the search for the therapist. Wishing you all the best with your search!

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

Maybe you could think a bit, and write down also, about why they weren't helpful and what you are looking for in a therapist

This is what I ended up doing, and I found the most awesome therapist. I'd seen two other therapists first, and neither was a good fit, so I made a list of why I thought they weren't a good fit for me. Then, I made a list of what I thought I needed in a therapist. Then, I went to www.psychologytoday.com and searched for therapists in my area. I narrowed it down as much as I could based on the search criteria, then opened each possible therapist's profile in a new window. I read each profile carefully, and either closed the window if they were a "no" or left it open if they were a "possibly." I ended up narrowing it down to just one therapist and sent her a request for a phone consultation. If I'd had a few "possible's" then I'd probably have requested phone consultations from each and gone from there.

[TerryL]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

In the past, I have found that PA's can be good sources of great info.

What is a PA?

[TerryL]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

Maybe you could think a bit, and write down also, about why they weren't helpful and what you are looking for in a therapist and then share that here so people could give some direction about the type of therapy you want your new T to practice? there are so many different therapy styles;

Well my past Ts have mostly listened and been compassionate, which is nice, but I have not felt better permanently. I need someone who can delve deeper into my psyche and hopefully be able to figure out why I am the way I am, why I am so stuck in my guilt and punishing myself whenever I start to feel even a shred of happiness. and if my guilt is justified, to help me move on somehow. I don't want to go on like this. It is no way to live.