[granite1]

all night i kept waiking up in a total panic with stomach turning ,heart racing and the whole bit.i know i was thinking about my T and all i just dont like this at all.i wish i could just relax about this T i know that my T isnt planning on hurting me in any way but i react like she has this plan to kill me or something.i hate it i guess i am just real tired

[unaluna]

would you be better off with a male T? I have always gotten along better with men than women in RL. I have had both as T's and pdocs. but she might be triggering more than you feel safe with? I don't think I could work out my Mother issues with a woman. this has been an ongoing problem for me in therapy, every parent-T has pretty much said I complained too much, except current T, and one other I saw when I was actually living with the old lady. maybe get a consult? just a thought.

[granite1]

i had a male T for about 2 months before i left his office and never went back.not a good relationship at all

[SilentLucidity]

granite - Sorry you had such a bad night. Those sleepless nights are the worst. I feel for you and I appreciate how much you are willing to share with us here on PC.

[FourRedheads]

I'm sorry you are struggling right now, Granite. Those panicky feelings are so intense.

I'm sorry--I can't remember and have been only lurking the past few days. Is your T on vacation right now?

[dizgirl2011]

Hey Granite,

I'm sorry if I have missed other things you have posted prior to this...

has something triggered these fears about your T ?

[rainbow8]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with your feelings, granite. Maybe they are transference feelings and not about your T at all. When you are feeling so bad may be a good time to try to meditate--just concentrate on your breathing for a minute or two. I've been trying that and sometimes it actually helps! You see your T this Monday, right? It's hard when you have to miss a week and don't have the reality of knowing she's not hurting you.

[Wysteria]

((((Granite))))

Sleep with the angels...

I hope you find a little peace and can relax..Most T's are very safe and I'll bet your new T will be wonderful...give her a chance to prove it to you..

Sleepy huggles,

Wysteria Blue

[granite1]

Originally Posted by Wysteria

((((Granite))))

Sleep with the angels...

I hope you find a little peace and can relax..Most T's are very safe and I'll bet your new T will be wonderful...give her a chance to prove it to you..

Sleepy huggles,

Wysteria Blue

hi wysteria, thanks
i have had this T for 2 years not.i am working really hard on the trust issue.i wasnt even able to talk at all untill maybe the last 2 months or so.it makes me feel so strange to talk to her.this woman has unbelievable amout of patients with me .i would have kicked me to the curb a year and a half ago.i am slowley trying to give her a chance but it truely is totally new to me.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with your feelings, granite. Maybe they are transference feelings and not about your T at all. When you are feeling so bad may be a good time to try to meditate--just concentrate on your breathing for a minute or two. I've been trying that and sometimes it actually helps! You see your T this Monday, right? It's hard when you have to miss a week and don't have the reality of knowing she's not hurting you.

i think she is hurting me by not being there.i know i will get back intothe meditation again when she gets back.i think i stoped because i was kind of angry at her for going right after she tryed to start this wwith me

[granite1]

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

Hey Granite,

I'm sorry if I have missed other things you have posted prior to this...

has something triggered these fears about your T ?

i just seem to do this a lot.my mind just gets filled with uncontroled thoughts and i just get confused and panicky.my T was just part of those thoughts mixed in with a bunch of others.i hate it but i am feeling better today.now i just sort of panic a little when i think about T and what i need to talk to her about .

[granite1]

Originally Posted by FourRedheads

I'm sorry you are struggling right now, Granite. Those panicky feelings are so intense.

I'm sorry--I can't remember and have been only lurking the past few days. Is your T on vacation right now?

Originally Posted by dizgirl2011

Hey Granite,

I'm sorry if I have missed other things you have posted prior to this...

has something triggered these fears about your T ?

thanks guys.
no you didnt miss anything it is just me being me.i just had a bad night and my T is on vacation untill tomorrow and i think that is why she was also part of all my negitive thoughts.i am also kind of scared about what i need to talk to her about tomorrow.it makes my stomach turn everytime i think about it

[Wren_]

sorry you are having such a hard time right now granite ... I wish we didn't have to deal with these thoughts about T's hurting us when we really don't think they will and yet it still comes up. Glad you can talk to her soon so that hopefully it eases things a little for you although I know you are worried about the conversation

[granite1]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

sorry you are having such a hard time right now granite ... I wish we didn't have to deal with these thoughts about T's hurting us when we really don't think they will and yet it still comes up. Glad you can talk to her soon so that hopefully it eases things a little for you although I know you are worried about the conversation

i just dont talk well.this is part of the reason i am in T.my inability to talk to people at times.or i guess the better way to say it is my not caring to talk and use my words at all.it took me almost 2 years to be able to even talk to my T a small amount.i just never have .me even being able to say anything is all new and feels so strange when i talk to her

[dizgirl2011]

Hi Granite,

I am glad your T is back tomorrow!!

Are you able to write down things you want to communicate with your T when you find it hard to talk??

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by granite1

abut i react like she has this plan to kill me or something.i hate it

That must feel so terrible thinking your T wants to harm you. This proves how brave you are by continuing to return to therapy. Your courage is so admirable.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by granite1

i just dont talk well.this is part of the reason i am in T.my inability to talk to people at times.or i guess the better way to say it is my not caring to talk and use my words at all.it took me almost 2 years to be able to even talk to my T a small amount.i just never have .me even being able to say anything is all new and feels so strange when i talk to her

But look what you do here on PC. You have found words and you're expressing yourself so well. You will gain the ability to speak because it's obvious you have lots to say.

[Wren_]

i wondered the same with writing; or is it that in those times with T, communication becomes impossible altogether ? (that happens for me at times though thankfully less than it used to)

[Sannah]

Good luck with your session today granite.

[Elana05]

(((Granite1)))

[FourRedheads]

How are things, granite? How did your session go? I was thinking of you today.