[beauflow]

i know beauflow has wrote doubts on here about therapy and also hope in it. I'm a double edge sword i say often. But today i really felt that today was a good session . I explained to t recent things that happened with bf and my feelings and thoughts and actions as i mentioned i have bad thoughts but my behavior is fine till talking. I give cold silent treatments i wont let ppl touch me and i can get rude if i speak or yell. But we also talked about home i don't have home as like my bf does. The home i talk about is his parents home he always has loving parents to take him in and he has our home where we are i only have our home it's something that bothers me deeply cause well it must be nice to have the parent home of love. Guess it's a left out and behind. I find many ppl in real life don't understand truely. T shared some thing that really made me feel better- t does understand it all. We also talked about my mom issues which are a lot and t helped i guess with confirming it's ok that i don't talk to my mom but to write a note about what my mom taught me and what i needed from my mom. We discussed it a little in session but i.ll still write i just felt like this was good session. We didn't mom bash as i talked i did counter balance and what may have effected my mom to be the way she was i think t was a little suprised cuz i mentioned a suicide thought i had with rage as a teen with my mom prior to talking about my mom. I'm sorry but i thought i would share it was a double bonus today cuz my bf was up when i got home and we talked. T said that the past doesn't have to be us i know but it's nice to hear it from some one similar to me. And she encouraged to make home in the now it really touched me and i'm sorry it's just nice. Also i talked about what the pdoc that upset me so pdoc said "we cant change our thoughts" when i mentioned suicide on why not doing it., t agrees with me that we do change our thoughts & that it's good on my why but i should try hard to find more to a why not to

[beauflow]

Lol and i forgot to mention the other thing that made me so glad like i still have my glass pipes from my drug days i told t i know i need to get rid of them but i want to melt them down and make something like a glass thing cuz i know the drug me was bad but it was a part me and i learned so much from it. T thought that was a cool idea it goes a little bit with my family and all i some how need to look more on that as learning too as i did with drugs i like this t even though she hadn't heard of quiet borderline- she wants me to bring in what i was reading so she can learn about it too idk if That's bad but i like the idea and idk i always feel like human psychology is always a growing field so i can understand why maybe she hasn't know a lot on it. sorry i just felt this was awesome today

[rainbow8]

I'm glad you had such a good session! Your T sounds nice. When therapy works it can make you feel like you're getting somewhere, and gives you a warm, safe feeling, huh?

Can you share what you are reading about "quiet borderlines"? Thanks!

[gma45]

That's great, I am glad you had a good session with your T. It's nice to feel good once in a while!

[beauflow]

Thank you both yeah it feels good to feel like going some where this was my forth session and i only get 12 well i think this is the first of the 12 it's through the county so it's short but i'm trying my best to get what i can out of it.

Rainbow when i get to a computer i will post what i was reading which gave me such a strange happiness cuz it just fits i'm not a out ward person but the inward is like defintion of me.
the bpd form on pc has a thread on it recently too that has some links i was reading the other day too.

I hope all well

[beauflow]

Rainbow8: I am sorry in the slow delay on this but at a computer now did not forget about your request:

http://borderlinepersonality.typepad...iet-borde.html

after I read this coupled with http://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/FAQ.shtml

I really felt a weight lifted off of me and understanding.