Why I don't comment?

I am feeling quite guilty that I am not really supporting anyone in here lately. I read a lot of your threads and posts. I actually type responses, but then I delete them. I think they sound dumb or stupid!

I am not sure what is going on with me. I feel that I can't really say anything that makes any sense or will offer anything of value to anyone that needs a decent response.

I just wanted to let all of you know that I am not ignoring your pain, concerns, fears, anxiety, depression, etc....I don't know what to say anymore.

Not sure if its just me, but it seems like we have gained a lot of new members over the past few months. They seem to be doing a great job supporting one another. I am happy for that. I feel that I have been knocked way down the totem pole (so to speak). I feel that I can't really mentor anyone when I am going through some of the same (crap) that I was when I started therapy 18 months ago.

It is embarrassing to me. I 'should' be over alot of this stuff, but I guess I am not. I wonder how long it will take?

I do apologize to all of you and I just wanted to let you know that I have not abandoned anyone or ignored anyone pm purpose. I am sorry.......

Hon, there is no need at all to appologize. Bless your heart! Sometimes a person needs to just sit back and rst. Your comments are always awesome and have heart. I hope you can just gather up your energies and get some rest inside.

New to the group and look forward to reading and posting.

Well, if it's any consolation to you, I'm new here and have the same but opposite problem. I, in typical caregiver fashion, rarely ever start my own threads but am busy replying to everyone else's. I think it's my unconscious way of avoiding bringing light to my problems. I still cannot wrap my brain around the concept of allowing myself to accept help from others.

So basically, in a way, you're one step ahead of me in that respect.

Squiggle I just wanted to say that I often feel the same way especially when I am trying to respond to something I can strongly relate to. I find that alot of times whther its helpful to the other person or not it often reinforces the very things I need to remember. J ust puttin it out there...

Sharing our struggles and being heard is what works here. So, Squiggle - that you listen is support. Knowing that someone understands is tremendous help. I know I sure don't have answers either but the dialogue is always helpful

I know where you're coming from, Squiggle. Sometimes I type and delete too, and sometimes I so badly want to offer advice but don't feel like I'm in a position to, or think my opinion isn't valid.

I just want to say, though, that I've never found any of your threads or posts to be dumb or stupid, so you're probably being too hard on yourself.

Love,
one of the newbies

What totem pole? Why should your opinion matter any less? Please don't put pressure on yourself. Post/respond when you feel like it. No one is judging you. Honestly, I don't put a lot of faith in my opinions, but I always hope that maybe they'll help in some small way. Hope you're just having a down day today and things will look better tomorrow. Take care.

I am afraid to comment sometimes if I feel I do not think it will help. I have also noticed all the new peeps and I have been so busy with other stuff. It helps just to read and absorb and not comment. No worried Squiggle, chime in when you want.

hugs to you Squiggle. I totally understand. It's hard to want to support others but have your own struggles get in the way. I've felt that way lately too.

I often do not know what to say that might be useful. Plus I am such a therapy failure/cynic I sometimes think people would rather not hear from me.

I can relate to you post too. Words do not come easily for me. It's hard to put my thoughts into words. I want to be supportive but not sure how to do that.

Squiggle, you are being WAY TOO HARD on yourself! I have found many of your previous comments and threads very helpful.

Don't feel guilty. Often, I feel EXACTLY as you do right now, especially having been terminated by a T. Like, what on earth can I say that might be helpful and supportive to someone else when I couldn't even be that for myself?

Be gentle with YOU.

Many times I feel that I start commenting on someone's post and before I know it, I have turned the whole thing into something about me and my issues. That's when I delete.

If I had a dollar for the amount of times I have typed and then deleted a post, I'd be a squillionaire, so you're def not alone

Plus I am totally crap at advice.

It's not advice, it's support and LOOOOOVE...

I think we all delete posts at times...
If that means right now you arent able to respond to posts thats ok.
On the other hand when I am tempted to delete an entire post(im way too hard on myself when I write) I go back and take out only what doesnt directly relate and work with whats left. Sometimes it needs revision not deletion. Hope this helps...

Hey squiggles! I had just assumed you were sticking to the epic therapy Roll call thread for now. I still see your posts from time to time and enjoy them very much.

Yes, I do stay in the threads, "Daily Roll Call" and "Things I'd like to tell my therapist, but can't". I feel that most of what I have to say falls under those topics. It is easier for me to follow what I have said!

It works for me right now and I am glad that others post under those threads as well. I have learned so much about them! I think I have posted this before, but I will say it again. I used to have too many threads going at the same time. It was difficult me to keep up with them. Posting in a couple of threads is easier for me.

I feel bad sometimes when I feel that I am not really offering any support to anyone. I am just talking about myself. I think that makes me look selfish and self-centered.

I don't mean to be, but I wanted to apologize in case someone thought I was being that way.

No way!!!!!!!!!!

You arent being selfish at all. We all go through times where we need more support and cant necessarily give any support. It will pass in due time...just ride it out and soon enough when you are ready it will happen that you are comfortable and eager to give support. Just being on here is a support whether you respond with words or not. STOP being so hard on yourself!! You are okay...you need support right now...and people will learn from the things you post instead of your responses to theirs.

I so appreciate this thread. I often feel like I turn a comment I want to make on a thread into something about me. Then I feel bad about myself for not being as supportive of others on the forum. I don't think it is selfishness as much as just where we are at a given time. This forum is for people who are going through tremendous highs and tremendous lows, sometimes within a matter or minutes, we all just need to be less harsh on ourselves. I also think it is important that sometimes we do need to be selfish and that is okay. If that is what Squiggle needs right now then I fully celebrate that need!

Then I am utterly crap at that ^

you are not a fairy god mother, you cannot wave your wand whenever asked and make things all better, nor can anyone else and not even our T's, I write a million and one messages a day that i never send, im sure others do too, judging by responses you are far from alone , we all run out of answers, after all if we had all the answers all the time, their would be no need for this website, and no need for T's and alot more unemployed people in the world! sometimes the best answer is not a word of advice, but a story to say "your not alone"

I think I do this all the time, except I don't delete. I have the delusion that me and my issues, however tangentially related to the thread, might actually help someone. Please don't tell me otherwise

Anne