[DelusionsDaily]

Yes I said it I wanna cancel T tommorrow. The sad part is I am not sure why. I feel like such a failure in T. My mind tells me I should be so much farther along. My anxiety about going tomorrow is through the roof. I just dont know if I should go...I definitely dont want to go like this. I despise having to trust someone, let them close and ask for help. Uggggghhhh!!! It makes me sick. I should be able to do all this by myself. ... ... ... ... ... But I cant and it pisses me off! Why cant I just be ok?? Thats all I have ever wanted. Instead I get some crazy mood disorder, dissociatve issues, and more. I HATE ME. ITS AWFUL BEING ME. ok written myself to tears...time to stop!

[beautiful.mess]

I feel this way every.single.week. It's THE reason why I absolutely hate therapy even though it's the one thing that's supposed to be helping me. Maybe I just hate the fact that I have to be there at all.

I hear you and I understand.

[ECHOES]

Where is it written that you should be able to do this by yourself?

It is hard to go when feeling like you do, but so important to go at those times. Maybe you could go and talk about how you feel about needing someone, or about trust, or about feeling like you should be able to do anything and everything all by yourself.

I wonder if the tears are about fear?

[sittingatwatersedge]

I will go with you if it helps. I know how you are feeling. be strong!!