[skycastle]

My health insurance was cut out a month and a half ago, and I was left with a huge therapy bill for a therapy session that wasn't covered, and then I was too broke to keep going. My therapist and I both knew the lack of health insurance was probably temporary. I'm mad at her because I wasn't able to see her for six weeks, and I don't want to open up to her at all or tell her how I'm doing. I'm mad because she's available, and then she's not. (Transference?)

But... I never really asked for her help. I told her the situation but didn't ask if I could see her anyway or anything.

Have you ever been mad at a therapist for not doing something you never actually asked for?

[BlessedRhiannon]

Yes, there have been a few times when I got irritated at my T for not just knowing that I needed something. When I forced myself to stop and think rationally, though, I realized that while my T does know me well and can usually anticipate what I might need, she is NOT a mind reader and I do have to ask for what I need. Plus, one of my challenges is actually asking for things I need rather than just ignoring them, so I know my T wants me to ask. When she can clearly see that I can't ask and also clearly see what I need, she will often meet that need. But, I can't honestly expect her to always know what I'm needing, and offer it. I can't expect her to read my mind. And I don't really have a valid reason to get angry at her for being unable to read my mind.

[Wren_]

that would be really difficult being cut off like that and it's a horrible feeling when you know the T is there but you can't access them, it becomes so easy to let all kind of other thoughts enter as well along with the truth (that the cut off was insurance based). I know it's hard to imagine telling her about how difficult the seperation was and the hurt involved and also the anger; but if you can, I think it would be something that ended up being really helpful to you. Not sure if this is true (just came up as a thought); but I wondered if the not wanting to talk is partly wanting to punish her for not being there? and yes, i've been angry at my T for not doing things I've never asked him to do; and for not responding to things I've never said

[skycastle]

"When she can clearly see that I can't ask and also clearly see what I need, she will often meet that need." >>> but Blessed Rhiannon, how long have you gone to your T? Aren't there things that you would be able to legitimately expect that your T would be aware are difficult for you? I understand the mind reading thing, I guess... I guess with my T I just think it's unfair that after 3 years she can't just reach out to me at a difficult time. After 3 years, she doesn't know what is difficult for me! Sigh, sorry, I'm a little worked up.

tigergirl>> That's a good insight about how I may be retaliating. My therapist asked me at the end of my last session, "So are you coming back to therapy?" I was so taken aback and, honestly, mad that she would wait until the end to ask that question which for me is so difficult. Is she that out of touch? Is SHE testing ME? Does she "know" that I'm going to come back? I hadn't even considered myself as having "left" therapy. My insurance cut out. So idiotic. I told her I wouldn't be back for at least 3 weeks. I'm thinking now that maybe I'll make an appointment with a different T...