Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 08:34 PM
anonymous12713
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
He left on a whim, after I told him I feared him. Took it personally, threw up his hands and said he was tired of it.

What did I do wrong?

I'm so sorry I was ever afraid to begin with. Now I try to act like I'm not afraid around him. I want him to accept me. But the truth is, is that I'm more afraid of him then ever before.

I still have to be around him. And it kills me. How could he just give up on me? I told him, because I wanted him to know. I wanted him to know I was scared of him. And he walked away.

I'm so afraid he'll get close to me again. And it will happen all over. I am even more afraid that we'll never be close again. And there will forever be a elephant in the middle of the room.

I want to ask him some days. I want to ask him. "What happened between us". Because one minute he was there and the next he was gone.

And I'm not ready to replace him with a new therapist. I don't feel her the way I felt him. She's distant and cold. She's not him. I canceled my session today because I had to go to the ER to find out I had an ovarian cyst. Not that that matters, because now I have to call her back for another appointment and I don't want to. She's not Andy. She's not him. And our relationship isn't the same.

I hate wanting something so bad, and knowing it's not good for me. Sometimes I get so lonely now. I'm so afraid to talk to people. But I wasn't afraid to talk to him. I just got scared. I was paranoid. I shouldn't have told him. I should have kept my mouth shut.

I'm so lonely.

advertisement
  #2  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 08:41 PM
rainbow_rose's Avatar
rainbow_rose rainbow_rose is offline
looking for rainbows
 
Member Since: May 2011
Posts: 2,653
LydiaB:
__________________
Happiness cannot be found
through great effort and willpower,
but is already present,
in open relaxation and letting go.

Don't strain yourself,
there is nothing to do or undo.
Whatever momentarily arises
in the body-mind
Has no real importance at all,
has little reality whatsoever.

Don't believe in the reality
of good and bad experiences;
they are today's ephemeral weather,
like rainbows in the sky.


~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~

  #3  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 08:49 PM
skysblue's Avatar
skysblue skysblue is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 2,885
So so sorry, Lydia.
  #4  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 10:01 PM
popsicle's Avatar
popsicle popsicle is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: on a small farm
Posts: 33
You didn't do anything wrong. You were honest as you should be. I am sorry he responded as he did.
  #5  
Old Oct 11, 2011, 10:52 PM
beautiful.mess's Avatar
beautiful.mess beautiful.mess is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Chicago
Posts: 324
No words Lydia, just hugs.
  #6  
Old Oct 30, 2011, 07:30 PM
CantExplain's Avatar
CantExplain CantExplain is offline
Big Poppa
 
Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 19,616
Quote:
Originally Posted by LydiaB View Post
He left on a whim, after I told him I feared him. Took it personally, threw up his hands and said he was tired of it.
Bastard!
Reply
Views: 512

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:48 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.