[dismantle.repair]

I'm really lost now.
I have problems trusting people, and feeling like I'm a burden to everyone.
My last session, my T asked me a couple times why I keep coming back.
The truth is, sometimes I don't want to... My friends tell me to...
And yeah, at the end of the day, I see her as a bit of hope... if she could put up with me.
When she asked me that, I started thinking, "Yeah, I shouldn't come back. EVER."
I know I shouldn't give up... but I don't know what to do. I want to cancel my next appointment and never make one again...

[laceylu]

I just make the appointments and keep going. If I think about it, I would never show up. I bet your T is trying to get you thinking about what you need to get better. PEACE

I have that exact same feeling with the people I can trust to talk to, but they reassure me that my feelings are wrong as far as being a burden. I suggest that you continue to go...especially since you found a lil bit of hope. That's all you need to motivate you & if your therapist is a good one then you shouldn't take her for granted. I don't have a therapist & wish I did. I wish I had the support that a lot of you have here on PC. Take advantage of it & get the help that you need. You may not know why you continue to go, but you know somewhere inside you want to get better. Don't give up *hugs*

[unaluna]

I used to talk from from the beginning of the session to the end and barely give my T's a chance to say one sentence. So I think that was why they asked me if I was getting anything out of therapy, and why I kept coming back. I see now it was frustrating for them, but I was doing the best I could at the time. Now I ask my current T, as we cover some of the same ground, why didn't previous T's hear things the way he is now? I agree w laceylu, T is asking to stop and look at how to help you better, because something is not coming across, not sure which way, from you to T or vice versa.

[ECHOES]

Please go back and say all the things that come to mind.
Say that sometimes you don't want to come.
Say that when she asks you this question, it feels as if she is saying "don't come back".
Tell her you don't know what to do.


There have been times that the only reason I could go back was because I made the commitment to myself to not just stop going, like I had in the past in other therapies. And because my T said early in my therapy, when I was struggling, to 'trust the process.'

Do you think your T asked you this as a way to explore your feelings about therapy rather than a question she has no answer for? If she knows you struggle to come sometimes, she may be curious what it is that happens that allows you to come after all.

I get what you mean about seeing her as hope. I feel that way about my T too.

[BlessedRhiannon]

My last session, my T asked me a couple times why I keep coming back.

My T has asked me this many times. It's not because she thinks I shouldn't come back, or because she doesn't like working with me or anything like that. She asks it to get me thinking about where I find the strength to keep coming, and how I can apply that to other things in my life. She asks it to show me that even though I struggle with trusting her, there's enough of me that trusts her that I keep coming back. She uses that question to remind me that even when I feel hopeless, there's a part of me that knows that going to therapy will help and that's what keeps me coming.

I'd bet your T was doing the same thing...trying to get you to think about what does get you to come to therapy, what you hope to get out of it, etc.

[Gus1234U]

{{{ disman~ }}} i'm certainly not your therapist, but i am always glad to see you... i bet i'm not the only one,, either... i hope you find the way to be glad to see you ,, too

[dismantle.repair]

Thanks so much guys (esp Gus )
I barely talk in therapy. She asks a lot of questions and I answer succinctly. I know I'm hard to deal with. I'm just tired... I have problems feeling like if people go out of their way to help me, and I always come across as ungrateful...