"In the Bedroom" with Dr. Laura Berman...the therapy sessions

with or without you · May 15, 2011, 09:41 PM

***I marked this as a trigger because this show is about problems in sexual relationships, however, this is not what my topic is actually about...my observation is more about the actual therapy in a specific episode and wanted to know if anyone else had the same feeling I did. This is not a sexual/gender issues topic.

This show is on Oprah's new channel, OWN. I recently saw an episode where Dr. Berman was counseling a lesbian couple who were going through a dry spell in the bedroom. One of them had recently lost a lot of weight from gastric bypass surgery, and instead of the change increasing her confidence, the weight loss made her feel incredibly vulnerable when being intimate with her partner because she didn't feel like a "big, strong bear" anymore. Dr. Berman concluded that both of them were going through a bit of "body dysmorphia"...they didn't see themselves the same way as their partner did (both of them thought the other was stunningly beautiful and sexy). So she designed a powerful exercise where she took them to an artist's studio and had them each undress and put on a robe, sit up on a small platform, and completely drop the robe while the other one looked at them for 3 minutes (taking turns). Dr. Berman set the timer and walked a little ways away, turning her back. She was talking with them the whole time and could hear what they were saying to each other. Afterwards they did more therapy (talking about the experience with Dr. Berman) but they were still wearing the bathrobes.

What popped into my head—would any of you EVER feel comfortable doing this in front of your T??

I would want my T to leave the whole damn building! Granted, she did not see them in their state of total undress, but still, I would never ever want my T to see me just wearing a bathrobe LOL. Have any counselors/therapists on this board seen this episode? What did you think?

Open Eyes · May 15, 2011, 10:09 PM

WOW, that is pretty heavy. I am with you on that one. As a matter of fact, I would not even feel comfortable being the T. I couldn't imagine going to a T in just a bathrobe either. Although we do that with a doctor etc.

This one is out of the ball park for me.

Flooded · May 15, 2011, 10:10 PM

**** that!

May 16, 2011, 01:43 AM

I saw that show. I did think about the fact that Dr. Berman was so close to them when they dropped the robe. I thought the exercise was great to help to rebuild that relationship. But, I agree that having your therapist in the same room would be way too much for me!

sunrise · May 16, 2011, 01:50 AM

I'm surprised she didn't just ask them to do the exercise at home and then report back to her. Probably did it that way (with Laura present) for the sake of TV.

with or without you · May 16, 2011, 04:59 AM

The reason it wasn't done at home was because after the exercise, they each sat down with an artist and had them draw 2 pictures. They had to describe themselves (how they thought they looked in the nude) for the first drawing, and the second drawing was a physical description of what their partner looked like. The result? Two very different pictures.

SpiritRunner · May 16, 2011, 07:22 AM

OMG, no! I would NOT do that!

with or without you · May 16, 2011, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I couldn't imagine going to a T in just a bathrobe either. Although we do that with a doctor etc.

Yeah, I don't like putting on the gown at the doctor but I am able to tell myself that they've seen thousands of people, all different sizes and shapes, and this is what they do. A therapist? notsomuch...

mixedup_emotions · May 16, 2011, 08:56 AM

Oh heck no!!! I've never been naked in my life around anyone...not even my ex-husband who I was with for 15 years....Of course, that's an issue in itself. *sigh*

pachyderm · May 16, 2011, 09:28 AM

At least it wasn't Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

Perna · May 16, 2011, 10:43 AM

I bet it helped that they were concentrating on each other rather than Dr. Berman (and that Dr. Berman isn't a psychotherapist they have seen each week individually for months/years). Sounds like only each other got to see each other, just like it would normally be in the bedroom? I think I could do that with my husband, knowing that the therapist wasn't "there"/looking.

Open Eyes · May 18, 2011, 04:23 PM

Oh, this was pretty funny, poetgirl76, my sentiments exactly, that was exactly what went through my head.

I still don't have much more to elaborate

WikidPissah · May 18, 2011, 04:52 PM

No Freakin Way! I only drop clothes in my bedroom alone or at my docs!

Elli-Beth · May 19, 2011, 08:17 AM

Heck, my T couldn't even get me to breathe deeply because I felt too self conscious about THAT! Nope, never, no-how. My guess is that this was just for the sake of TV and would never happen with a private (and reputable) T. I think even a sex T would give it as homework.

with or without you · May 19, 2011, 12:27 PM

interesting responses! I agree with you on the sake of TV, Elli.

Oceanwave · May 19, 2011, 04:05 PM

Hi there,
I wonder what makes you ask this question. Do you know why you brought it up?

with or without you · May 19, 2011, 04:13 PM

^

1) because I've been in therapy a long time and any shows about psychology ("Hoarders" etc.) or therapy interest me

2) this particular kind of counseling is not "traditional". She actually goes to their house and goes on a "field trip" with them, so to speak...just wondering what anyone else here thought of it. I don't even like seeing my T in the parking lot of her office. Does this make any sense?

billieJ · May 19, 2011, 04:30 PM

I'm with you, With or Without ~ the exercise, in it's entirety, sounds fairly therapeutic, but not for public consumption.

Elli-Beth · May 19, 2011, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by with or without you

^

1) because I've been in therapy a long time and any shows about psychology ("Hoarders" etc.) or therapy interest me

I love Hoarders! That show is what gets me motivated to clean my house! Seriously, if it weren't for that show I wouldn't have ever noticed how bad my place was starting to get. I don't think I was in a position that's like those on the show, but it was bad enough I'd have to take a few days to "prepare" for company.

with or without you · May 19, 2011, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elli-Beth

I love Hoarders! That show is what gets me motivated to clean my house! Seriously, if it weren't for that show I wouldn't have ever noticed how bad my place was starting to get. I don't think I was in a position that's like those on the show, but it was bad enough I'd have to take a few days to "prepare" for company.

I don't have OCD or OCD-like behaviors, but I can understand where those people are coming from when they have to start to clear some of the clutter out of the way. Just doing a little bit can be completely overwhelming and shut you down...the same happens to me when I try to overcome something related to my anxiety, or when I was in a depressive episode.

Xeneon · May 19, 2011, 10:53 PM

HECK NO!!! There would of been no way i would have dropped the rob. I would have not been confrotable with the painter to be in the room or therapist. Nope I don't take my clothes off for anybody.

Elli-Beth · May 20, 2011, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by with or without you

I don't have OCD or OCD-like behaviors, but I can understand where those people are coming from when they have to start to clear some of the clutter out of the way. Just doing a little bit can be completely overwhelming and shut you down...the same happens to me when I try to overcome something related to my anxiety, or when I was in a depressive episode.

Yep, I can relate! Just doing one drawer takes me a while because I "might" need it someday...

cmac13 · May 21, 2011, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pachyderm

At least it wasn't Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

HA! good one!

PrettyAuntie · Nov 16, 2011, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by with or without you

***I marked this as a trigger because this show is about problems in sexual relationships, however, this is not what my topic is actually about...my observation is more about the actual therapy in a specific episode and wanted to know if anyone else had the same feeling I did. This is not a sexual/gender issues topic.

This show is on Oprah's new channel, OWN. I recently saw an episode where Dr. Berman was counseling a lesbian couple who were going through a dry spell in the bedroom. One of them had recently lost a lot of weight from gastric bypass surgery, and instead of the change increasing her confidence, the weight loss made her feel incredibly vulnerable when being intimate with her partner because she didn't feel like a "big, strong bear" anymore. Dr. Berman concluded that both of them were going through a bit of "body dysmorphia"...they didn't see themselves the same way as their partner did (both of them thought the other was stunningly beautiful and sexy). So she designed a powerful exercise where she took them to an artist's studio and had them each undress and put on a robe, sit up on a small platform, and completely drop the robe while the other one looked at them for 3 minutes (taking turns). Dr. Berman set the timer and walked a little ways away, turning her back. She was talking with them the whole time and could hear what they were saying to each other. Afterwards they did more therapy (talking about the experience with Dr. Berman) but they were still wearing the bathrobes.

What popped into my head—would any of you EVER feel comfortable doing this in front of your T??

I would want my T to leave the whole damn building! Granted, she did not see them in their state of total undress, but still, I would never ever want my T to see me just wearing a bathrobe LOL. Have any counselors/therapists on this board seen this episode? What did you think?

Well this is Rachel from the show and I believe you would of had to be there. This excersise was very challenging emotionally between Shelly and I. Not once did it come up about Dr. Berman seeing us naked or interviewing us in our bath robes. For the sake of T.V no one saw the 2 weeks 8 hours a day therapy we had been doing with Laura Berman. By the time we were asked to undress the relationship had grown into a place where we felt confident and safe with everyone that was in the room. We can both see how it may have seemed during the show that everything happened so quickly. Our relationship has been stronger in and out of the bedroom since our show. Laura Berman helped us get past tramatic events that no T had ever with either one of us in the past.

CantExplain · Nov 20, 2011, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by with or without you

What popped into my head—would any of you EVER feel comfortable doing this in front of your T??

I would want my T to leave the whole damn building! Granted, she did not see them in their state of total undress, but still, I would never ever want my T to see me just wearing a bathrobe LOL. Have any counselors/therapists on this board seen this episode? What did you think?

Being naked in front of T wouldn't bother me that much. Being naked in front of my wife doesn't bother me at all. Being naked in front of both of them at once would be much more challenging, because if brings sexual and non-sexual nakedness into the same room. Our culture is very careful to keep those two ideas apart.

Menu

"In the Bedroom" with Dr. Laura Berman...the therapy sessions

My Support Forums