[Salmacis]

I've been going to my T for about 6 months now, complete my rehab program next week & have been sober 2 months. When I first went in to see the T, it was for general rage/anger, self-injury & uncontrolled emotional responses. I still have the anger issues (!!!) and had to miss 2 days of work last week due to my outbursts at the office. I was so afraid that I'd snap again & get myself fired...

Anyway, last met w/T on Monday & she wants me to see a psychiatrist to explore the possibilities of psych meds now that I'm off alcohol & drugs. I'm open to that... but I haven't been completely honest w/my T about my feelings/issues. Alcoholic rage & anger took center stage, so I didn't get a chance to talk about the other things yet.

I feel I really need to open up about these other things in order to get the right meds. I'm 36 & I live in a world of my own (when I get a chance to be away from other people) w/my "imaginary friend" (who is actually deceased). I love this friend & look forward to talking with him whenever I can. This is a pasttime I have enjoyed for most of my life (adult & childhood). Yes, he talks back and in his own voice, but his voice usually originates in my head (but sometimes outside my head) and also in vivid dreams.

I love being "alone" and can only tolerate being around people for short periods of time. I also have other obsessions about certain numbers, astrology, syncronicities & reincarnation. I can smell germs when someone near me has a cold coming on. I get definite "vibes" from other people that determine whether or not I will respond to them.

I have never told another living soul these things about myself & I'm so terrified T will have me locked up. Should I be honest w/T or let it ride since it doesn't hurt anyone?

Help?!

[roads]

I can't see, from anything you've said here, that you're a threat to yourself or anyone else. That being the case, there would be no grounds--at least in my state or any other I know about--for locking you up anywhere.

I think you need to tell your T everything, but I know you're probably not comfortable enough in the relationship to reveal all of this right away. Be honest, but let it happen when it can without feeling that it's being dragged or forced out of you. My opinion.

Others will check in. See how what they have to say clicks with you. In the end, it's your decision.

You can only be "locked up" (committed to a psychiatric facility against your will) if you are a danger to yourself or others. Despite your witty "is" statement ("sunny with a chance of homicide"), it doesn't see to me that any of the things you are considering talking about with your T are anywhere close to dangerous, either to you or to other people. In fact, it seems that you have gotten quite a bit better and there is no reason to believe you will hurt yourself or anybody else.

I don't think there is anything wrong with being alone in the way that you have talked about, and nothing to be ashamed about the things you enjoy or "obsess" about.

Good luck,
Anne

[nicoleb2]

I can't see why T would have you locked up, unless you are an imminent danger to yourself or others. Probably would recommend a thourough psych evaluation though

[Salmacis]

Thanks so much for the responses! I actually feel a lot more confident now that I should tell my T. I have no close friends to confide in... and it already feels better writing it here in the forum. I still don't know if I trust T fully, but if she can't legally lock me up, I feel safer. I see T & the psychiatrist in about 3 weeks, so that should give me time to organize my thoughts...

[CantExplain]

Richard Feynman - respected Nobel Prize winning physicist - used to talk to his dead wife. By physicist standards, he was only slightly eccentric, certainly not "crazy".