[CantExplain]

Why would I keep on with therapy if I'm happy? Good question, Stopdog.

1. There are other things I want to work on. Paranoia. Alienation. Not feeling my mother's love. (I think I'm really close on that last one.)

2. I might slip back into depression at any time. T is my safety net, and I'm not ready to give that up.

3. T is a really wonderful person. She means more to me than friends or family. Seeing her is the highlight of my week. I want to be with her.

4. In the past, whenever I told T I had reached a happier place and I was ready to quit, she said, "It gets better." Meaning, I think, "You think you're happy now, but you ain't seen nothing yet!" She's been right so far!

Wishing happiness for all!

[Perna]

If you are paranoid, alienated, and not feeling love, then I would question whether you are happy? Wanting to be rid of things that weigh us down or make us stumble are always good reasons for therapy. I think true "happiness" in life doesn't have weights or potholes to stumble on. Yes, it might have problems but so do math tests, you just work on them calmly and solve them; they're not a weight or pothole (unless you didn't study :-)

[stopdog]

Perhaps we have different definitions of happiness. Glad it is happier for you and it sounds like you have concrete reasons for continuing.

[Kacey2]

[quote=CantExplain;2126732]Why would I keep on with therapy if I'm happy?

3. T is a really wonderful person. She means more to me than friends or family. Seeing her is the highlight of my week. I want to be with her.

4. In the past, whenever I told T I had reached a happier place and I was ready to quit,

quote]

I completely agree CantExplain. When one gets comfort and support and finally feels attached to a safe person what is the harm at enjoying that? If you pay for your t and feel as if it is beneficial, you shouldn't have to just stop because you are starting to feel better. A well parented child doesn't even have to be cut off at 18 yrs of age or when they are adjusted to life. Life alone is stressful and to have that 50 min down time is sometimes what is neccessary to remain balanced. Well done!

[nicoleb2]

Cause the happiness never really lasts long. I feel happy and then BOOM! $hit again

[learning1]

Originally Posted by Perna

If you are paranoid, alienated, and not feeling love, then I would question whether you are happy? Wanting to be rid of things that weigh us down or make us stumble are always good reasons for therapy. I think true "happiness" in life doesn't have weights or potholes to stumble on. Yes, it might have problems but so do math tests, you just work on them calmly and solve them; they're not a weight or pothole (unless you didn't study :-)

I'm just thinking I wouldn't want my happiness to always be too calm... Maybe the difficulty of defining happiness is why some t's don't suggest happiness as a goal. No matter how you define it, too much of anything isn't a good thing. But then again there's something we want out of therapy, why not call it happiness? Ha ha, I'm arguing both sides of my question. It probably doesn't matter.

[granite1]

it sounds to me like you have more stuff to work on to me.i think yopu can be happy and still have things tou need to work through and feel even more settled

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Perna

If you are paranoid, alienated, and not feeling love, then I would question whether you are happy?

These are painful nuisances, of course. But they don't take up my whole life.

I feel paranoid but only sometimes.
I feel alienated but only from my therapy group.
I feel unloved but only by my mother.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by nicoleb2

Cause the happiness never really lasts long. I feel happy and then BOOM! $hit again

There's another way of looking at that.

"The pain never really lasts long. I feel hurt and then WOW! happy again."

There is happiness and pain in every life. The question is, which is normal and which is the interuption?

[venusss]

If you cannot get satisfaction of normal relationships... I am unsure I would call that happy place..............

I think life itself should satisfy us. (and yes, I may not be in therapy, but I burn money on self-discovery as well... hoping one day I may just be at peace where I am and with what I have).

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

If you cannot get satisfaction of normal relationships...

I don't think that's quite what I meant. What did I say that makes you think that?

[venusss]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I don't think that's quite what I meant. What did I say that makes you think that?

3. T is a really wonderful person. She means more to me than friends or family. Seeing her is the highlight of my week. I want to be with her.


because like it or not, this is not a real relationship. It may feel good because you don't have to fake anything, you don't need to reciprocate... but eh, cannot replace real friendships and other real relationships.

It is a mentoring relationship, where you are supposed to learn something... maybe we learn whole life, who knows, so nothing wrong with having a mentor for a long time. But should your mentor be the most important person in your life?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

3. T is a really wonderful person. She means more to me than friends or family. Seeing her is the highlight of my week. I want to be with her.


because like it or not, this is not a real relationship. It may feel good because you don't have to fake anything, you don't need to reciprocate... but eh, cannot replace real friendships and other real relationships.

It is a mentoring relationship, where you are supposed to learn something... maybe we learn whole life, who knows, so nothing wrong with having a mentor for a long time. But should your mentor be the most important person in your life?

I see what you mean.

Therapy is an unnatural relationship, but that doesn't mean it isn't real. I'd cry if she died. That's real.

I can totally relate. I told T I'd come see here everyday if she'd let me. Although I think it's not so much T as a person as it is the dynamics of our relationship. Not so sure I'd wanna be there all the time if we weren't working on me. I'd cry if my T died to.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I see what you mean.

Therapy is an unnatural relationship, but that doesn't mean it isn't real. I'd cry if she died. That's real.

Oh yeah, it's a real relationship. Very very real for you. I think it's just really hard for people (including those in therapy!) to understand exactly what kind of relationship it actually is. I know I can't, and have given up trying. In the absence of the right words, or understanding it's easy for people to minimize it (even to themselves).

It is what it is. It helps.