I sent an email to my new DBT therapist earlier tonight and she actually wrote me back! Several paragraphs!

I can't get to processing what it is she said 'cause I'm still reeling from the fact that she wrote me back at all. She's done this a few times now.

Over the two and a half years I worked with him, I never wrote substantive emails to my former therapist (just emails to schedule appointments and such) until the past few months when I had a breakdown and he referred me to someone else and the relationship ended.

I once emailed my pdoc about some stuff and he wrote back that he preferred not to discuss substantive issues via email.

But when they introduced me to the DBT stuff they said email was okay, even phone coaching was okay. Still I was hesitant at first to send her an email between sessions but lately I've tried it a few times. She doesn't always respond and the first few responses were kinda generic (I guess because we don't really know each other yet) and rather useless ("watch a funny movie; put on happy music etc.) but this time she responded like a real person. Maybe because I suggested that I didn't feel any connection and was thinking about finding a new therapist? I don't know.

Anyway, how many of you have therapists who do this? Is it primarily a DBT thing?

[mixedup_emotions]

My T responds to my emails, but is very, very brief. He has made it clear that he does not like "doing therapy" by emails and that he prefers face to face communication. But there are times when I need that connection between sessions, and I usually try to be very clear about what I need from him....whether it's just acknowledgement, reassurance, etc.

Edited to Add: Also, my T is not DBT.

My T is CBT primarily. He initially indicated that he did not want us to email. However, he eventually said it was okay to email him with things I am having great difficulty saying out loud. I have emailed him twice. Neither time did he email me back. Both times, he called me on the phone to reassure me that nothing I said in either email made me a horrible person. No return email.

[confuseduk]

My T isn't DBT and most of the time will return my e-mails, when my T takes the time to give a thoughtful or supportive response it can really help me, but when I get a reply like "Yes", "No" or "I know that" it can make me sink further

[SoupDragon]

My T isn't DBT. He does accept my e-mails and now encourages me too when things are hard for me as it is the only way I can communicate at those times. However I only get very brief responses and I know he would rather I talk about these things face to face in session.

[carla.cdt]

When I did DBT, phone coaching was what I use, probably up to twice a week when I needed it the most, never used email with dbt, phone only.

[WePow]

My T allows me to use email as much as needed. Sometimes he says a few things back if I ask for a reply. It can help to let me move from a bad place into a safer place.

our counselor emails us back every single time but nit always on the same day so sometimes we will get 4-5 replies at once and she is not DBR

[tkdgirl]

My T almost always emails me back even though I never ask or expect a response. She usually write about a paragraph back even though she told me she can't respond with emails indepth. My T is not dbt.

[WikidPissah]

My T always emails back something helpful. He is not DBT, and I don't email that often, but he encourages it.

[Dreamy01]

This is such a major issue for me. My T doesn't respond to all emails and when she does it is very brief, more an ackowledgement than a reply. I'm trying to come to terms with this. She does allow phonecalls if I need to contact her during the week which I am thankful for. She has never told me not to email but I don't make a habit of it because waiting to see if she will reply is more stressful than it is worth and to be honest it just doesn't benefit me.

No emails here which is absolutely fine with me.

[pbutton]

My T is mainly CBT.

He gave me his email address on my 3rd appt. He once wrote me a note reminding me to call or email him if I needed help.

I am currently dealing with the very first time he didn't respond. It's certainly curing me of my stupid little dependency problem. Lesson learned.

[KazzaX]

I don't think you are supposed to have a connection with a DBT therapist. It's supposed to be very non personal and goal oriented. Speaking about using the skills and that alone. They don't usually do any feelings type stuff.. just DBT skills only. The ones over here anyway. If you veer towards any feelingsy/connection stuff they cut you right off.

huh. this is very interesting. I'm glad to hear so many people have non-DBT therapists who are open to emailing. For me, yeah, sometimes it's the only way I can say really difficult things and so much happens to me in a week I feel like our therapy is progressing much faster than it normally would because of her allowing me to email her throughout the week. I try not to do it too much but having a lot of time over the long weekend to think I really worked out some difficult stuff and made some break throughs. I'm glad I didn't have to wait until Tuesday to share them with her. Now during the session we can go right to "so what do you think? am I right?" and "what's next?"

like farmergirl, no emails at all. and i thank him secretly all the time!

[critterlady]

I don't have T's email address. I have his cell number, but never text. My only contact with him between sessions is by phone. It's hard enough to wait for him to call back if I've had to leave a voicemail message - I'd be far too anxious waiting for an email or text response.

From the posts here on PC, it seems that email contact causes more angst than it relieves.

[adel34]

Hi,
My VMT therapist always answers my e-mails. She even prints them out to talk about next session sometimes. She also has me e-mail homework that she assigns.
She's not DBT.

My T says I can write as much as I need to, but that she won't be able to respond to them all - however, she often does, which is nice I've had her email address since the beginning, but I didn't email her very much and only for appointment type stuff.. earlier this year I started emailing her more - as she suggested I could maybe write about things that were hard to talk about. For a while I sent a few each week - partly because I felt a need to connect, partly to communicate - things got intense and I had a lot of stuff going on.. Recently I'm doing better, things seem to be calming down, and I haven't needed to write quite so often. I very much appreciate being able to communicate this way with my T inbetween sessions, I think it's really helped me. (My T isn't DBT, more humanistic/eclectic...)

[WikidPissah]

Originally Posted by critterlady

From the posts here on PC, it seems that email contact causes more angst than it relieves.

that is not at all the case for me. I am able to express myself in writing when I cannot verbally. My T always checks his email late at night, so if I email I never expect a response until the next day. On the off chance that there is no response (happened maybe 2x in the past 2 yrs) I know that he simply didn't check it. I have never questioned it at all, or gotten worked up about it. My T and I would have never gotten past an initial history if it wasn't for me emailing what's inside my head.

[rainbow_rose]

i bumped into an email boundary very early on so I learned to not be so impulsive in regards to email. every few months there has been an issue i have written to her about. i've always had faith that she would respond, and she always has. she is not DBT.

I'm with Wikid. I feel like the therapy is progressing much faster because I can share my thoughts between sessions. But then I'm in a particularly critical juncture at this point. Maybe it'd feel this way anyway?

[Victoria'smom]

I can write her notes and stick them in her mail box but no e-mail. She usually waits until or next session to talk about them but it may be because I told her that when I called and she answered she freaked me out.

I don't email him.

My T e mails me back as soon as he gets the message. He is not DBT. He allows me unlimited e mails, phone calls, 24/7. I'm lucky in that regard. It's like therapy can progress much faster.