I talked with my therapist today, but I don't feel like I can trust her anymore. She said that the reason it is recommendable to explain to group moderators and members why am I leaving is because I wouldn't just disappear instead of formally breaking up with someone. In other words, being part of a support group is like being in a relationship. I disagree with her arguement, but would like to check with you all. Is group therapy really a relationship?

yes.

Its not like a love affair type of relationship But there is "connections" being in a support group you "connect" with a few people. you learn to like them and develop a trust and friendship for them and those in the groups also start developing a trust and caring for you.

When you stop without at least saying goodbye as a part of the group those that you connected with and those that started building up trust for you start worrying about you and then the brain starts messing with head games of what ifs and maybe's speculations and rumors and that ends up throwing everyone in the group off track. Without you saying goodbye, each week everyone is on eggshells wondering where you are, whats going on and so on. Not saying goodbye as a part of the group also leaves unansweed questions of shoulda, woulda, coulda's for the person dropping out.

So Its more an issue of having closure for you and those in the group, so that both you and the group members can move on and take care of what you all need to.

Also in the depression group that my therapy agency runs we have a tradition - the person "graduating" (attending their last group session regardless of why they are leaving the group) brings in a candle to light the way for the new people that come in after us. Some of us also exchange phone numbers, addresses and emails on our last day in the group.

[(JD)]

Even if you have no connection to the group, someone in the group may have with you. Plus, someone in the group may have bigger abandonment issues than you can realize...and need to know that THEY aren't the one who made you leave, you know?

It's also good to do this out of respect, imo. They are ppl...just because you are making other choices doesn't mean you have to just sneak away silently...

It will also help you formulate why you have chosen to leave (help you put it into words.)

Hope it works out for you

i didn't have time to elaborate the other day...but everything above is true. you never, ever know how your leaving might affect just one soul. xoxoxo pat