[adeline]

Hi to all,

Ever since I switched to a Cognitive Behavioral Psychologist, I've had major improvements in all areas of my life. However, for me it's incredibly anxiety provoking to talk about all of the things that cause me anxiety, and that I don't know (or believe) that I can control. I really enjoyed going to my psychodynamic therapists, since I got all of this attention and pity -- quite rewarding but quite unproductive.

I really don't want to disappoint my therapist, either, which makes me feel pressured to quickly get and stay well. I've started to dread going, since the whole time I'm just trying not to cry (because I've done it so much already).

Basically I feel like dwelling on my anxiety in therapy is needlessly exacerbating it, since it makes me feel less in control of it... Anyone else have a similar experience?

I don't know, but it seems like I'm to a point where if I can stop focusing on it, I don't experience it as much. But then sometimes it comes back, so I just don't know what I should do at this point.

[Fuzzybear]

I know what you mean! I usually avoid talking about my anxiety and if I read books on CBT for anxiety etc..... I feel that it exacerbates my anxiety. Even writing this here is freaking me out a bit

As for the psychodynamic therapists ..... I am not sure that I agree that a good therapist would give you "pity".... maybe empathy is a better word? But I do agree that psychodynamic therapy alone isn't always the most effective treatment (it didn't work that well for me either)

Wish I could help

Take care,
Fuzzy

[adeline]

Thanks for your response, Fuzzybear! It's comforting to know I'm not alone in feeling unsure about how to go about working on anxiety. What seems to work best for me is to totally immerse myself in the moment, instead of worrying about what's to come... but I'm still working on perfecting that.

Sometimes it just feels like trying to change my disfunctional beliefs is futile. I've been trying to desensitize myself to these fearful beliefs, but again this isn't something that I would do in therapy.

[oh, and about the psychodynamic pity thing, you're right that it's really empathy, but it just comes across to me emotionally as pity... just another disfunctional interpretation ... maybe I'll use that one to divert the focus from anxiety in therapy ].

Thanks!

Jess

Jessie

[Lily]

My t is CBT oriented but switched to taking a more psychodynamic approach after I had learned as much as I could from CBT. Either way, he has not seemed any more or less understanding towards me. Both therapy methods require work on my part and I have found them both to be very helpful but in different ways. For me, I was able to see more of the changes with CBT but felt more of a longlasting change with psychodynamic therapy.

I agree that psychodynamic therapy alone would not have been that helpful to me. However, CBT left me feeling alone in my struggles even though I had learned better coping skills.

I think we see caring as receiving pity from someone if we are not used to getting our needs met. Is this true in your case?

[Myzen]

Hi Adeline,

As far as I know (and I'm no expert) the therapies mentioned have a common goal. It is to enable us to experience the anxiety, to go right in there and have it, rather than to be so afraid all the time. I know about the fear, believe me.

I used to fear anxiety attacks with a mortal terror, and all my coping strategies just made it worse, as they were based on avoidance and 'magical' protection ideas.

Well, I still have the attacks, as you folks know. But I think I can honestly say that I don't have the same fear these days. I don't like the attacks, and they can ground me when they happen, but afterwards I get up and go out there again. I think of myself as flaky but determined.

A few weeks ago I didn't get on a plane, and I also cancelled a gig where I was billed to perform.

Since then I've done two poetry events (absolutely crapping myself) and I am determined to fly again when I'm ready.

A funny thing, I won a prize at one of the poetry events, it was a George Bush T shirt - no kidding! If I hadn't beaten down the anxiety and got back up there I wouldn't possess that T shirt today. That's quite a thought.

Adeline, it's a rotten illness, but there are plenty of rotten illnesses in this world. We deserve a medal for what we have to cope with, every one of us, but I think we can do without the pity.

As a respected fellow sufferer here at PC said: we are "warriors".

Good thoughts, Myzen

myzen my sweet friend.....you never fail to lift my spirits......lol.....flakey is certainly not a word i would use to describe you..lol....BUT i have to doubt your sanity a bit if you are happy with your prize of a george bush teeshirt!!!! lol.....most of us americans would burn it!!! lol.....

[(JD)]

There's no reason to push all the time in therapy. If you are thinking of not wanting to go, then IMO you are going too fast. Ask your T to slow things down for you a while, or ask to discuss a different issue. CBT doesn't require speed... only insurance companies do that

[adeline]

Yeah, that's a really good point... I know that I'm the one who's pushing everything, since my T always tells me that we can tackle anything, anyway I want. I don't know if there's a limit on the number of sessions that I get, though technically CBT isn't supposed to last more than 30 sessions. Do you know if insurance companies limit session time based on what you're diagnosed with?

I've been feeling better about things for a few days now, partly due to the homework exercises that we've been doing. It helps to not have to try (unsuccessfully) to hold myself together in front of someone else while I do the thought tracing exercises.

I've also become more and more convinced that my insane hormones are to blame for most of my severe anxiety. Even with SSRIs or benzodiazepines my anxiety just feels dampened -- but then if I'm having a good week hormone-wise, I'm really resilient and can handle my anxiety. Has anybody else noticed this correlation?

Jessie