T is booked again I am going through anxiety

hi, i dont know if you have kept up with my postings but, i have borderline disorder generalized anxiety major depression and antisocial disorder ptsd
anyway i been in therapy for a yr and i see her weekly cuz she says its very important that i do, this is a community mental health center with many pdocs and therapists psychologists and its well staffed
the receptionists say they are only allowed to book 2 appts in advanced and my t took on some xtra clients because the group therapist left

ever since then about 3 months if i see her every week its a miracle i keep missing a week or 2 in the month its very unsettling for me, i have spoken to her but she says just keep calling to see if anyone has cancelled,

the problem is that i am working on my trauma now baby steps and then i have to wait 2 weeks to see her again and by then it feels like i cant open and i just sit home and think, i do love this forum because it helps me, but this week my t is booked so that means i see her on the 28th but thats 2 weeks again.

the receptionists are kind but i am sure they can schedule 3 ahead, one receptionist told me well you are not the only one who needs help and i understand that.
so by the time my session is over i go downstairs to book the following and its already taken, i am just so frustrated

I find it so strange that you cannot have a regular standing appointment every week. I mean, these are mental health professionals, right? Don't they understand the basic need that many of us have of a sense of security in therapy? If we can't even count on getting in, that feeling of safety hasn't even had a chance to take hold. Please talk to your T about your need here. I would not be able to cope very well if I had to face your kind of situation. Not only do I have a standing weekly appointment (T and I don't even talk about it because it's "my" time), I also can get in extra sessions during the week if I need to. It seems cruel and heartless for people who profess to be in the healing trade to keep you dangling like this.

i know, i mean when i am in session with her she is very good empathic remembers everything about me but i cant deal with inconsistency i really am having a hard time, i mean if i were in crisis she would see me but its not crisis i mean after you leave a session talking about trauma no matter how much she winds it down i still have that feeling of mixed emotions then to go downstairs and have to be told oh she is booked for next week but dont worry because you have an appt the following, that is not helping me at all, i can understand if i were in therapy for minor issues but i dont have minor issues

Well, I'm in therapy for minor issues and I count down the 7 days between sessions. So, of course, you're feeling terrible. Try to problem solve this with your T. If it can't be solved, I would seriously look for another therapist who could be more consistent. Maybe one in private practice.

I can feel your anxiety. My T had to move my appt last week and it caused me much anxiety! I don't have a regular standing appt time either, as much because of my schedule as hers. I'm starting to get into some trauma stuff too and I asked if I could schedule for the whole month and she made sure I was coming once a week. I hope your T can get you scheduled more often because you need it!

I understand the process with baby steps into trauma and it is great that you are taking these steps.

Unfortunately, community mental health clinics have layers of rules (usually federal, state, and sometimes local government, who usually all help fund these centers) that Ts in private practice don't have to adhere to. The main problem is that they don't have enough sessions to offer the people who really need them (more need than therapists to serve the people needing help) and that they have a high rate of no shows, which makes it even more difficult for people who need appointments to get them. That's why they often have a limited ability to book ahead.

It sounds to me like you may need to accept that this is the situation you have to work with. The receptionists cannot bend the rules for you without risking their jobs and/or claims that you are being treated differently than everybody else. Because they are government funded, they risk losing their funding if they break their own rules or they risk lawsuits. It is unfair to ask your T or the receptionist to make some kind of exception for you.

Instead, perhaps you can ask your T for help in getting through the weeks when you can't get an appointment. Could she call you for 5 or 10 minutes? Can she give you some suggestions about mindfulness exercises or writing in a journal or something else that might help you in the meantime?

Anne

Did you let T know so she can intervene?

When my therapist was away and I had to miss sessions, I would figure out how to work with myself at home; journal or write T a letter or I'd use the sit-home-and-think as a positive thing and document what I figured out with my thinking so I could share it with T the next time I saw her and then move on from there.

You can report what you thought about to T and then work from there; what problems you had thinking about certain subjects, where you got "caught" or where you feel you had a breakthrough, etc. Then, in session, you can discuss how you are feeling about those things at that moment, see if T has some suggestions on how to get unstuck where you're stuck, etc.

i did but i guess i have to follow the secretaries rules in the meantime i guess i will just vent here because you guys are supportive

i get what you are saying, you see this is my first time in therapy i dont know the difference between private and community, i would not want anyone to bend any rules for me, i never asked the receptionists to do that
i have let my t know that i do get alot of anxiety when i dont see her for two weeks, i do journal and share with her when i see her. but this is one of the reasons i wanted to quit therapy because you get use to someone being there weekly unless she calls out sick, to listen to you, before therapy i was more of a mess but at least i was not missing anyone or looking foward to seeing her

yeah me too i count down the days before my next sessions see this is my first time in therapy ever in my adult life and i been going for a year but this is what i wanted to avoid missing someone to talk to weekly that is why i was considering quitting therapy because although i was a mess before i did not miss anyone so on top of all my issues now this is a new one