[SweetSunshine]

The past couple weeks I have been kinda frustrated with my T and pdoc. I have heard of different dx's now that I have and either they have not told me about them or hid them from me. I do not like nor appreciate this. And the last time I had to pry it out of them was when I got out of the hospital. This really frustrates me. I also have asked for them to give me more coping techniques for the bipolar/cyclothymia whatever they decide it is . I asked for this a couple months ago. And it just doesnt seem like I am getting anything out of them on this. Its like they decide what is best or whatever and I have no say in the matter.

I know this is very short notice. But what I would like from you guys are some suggestions on maybe setting new qoals in my therapy. Most of you know me and stuff I am going thru etc. So I feel I can trust you on this to give me some good imput. I have T tomorrow at 10:00 am and I hope to get a few ideas to take with me. Thank you so much ahead of time here!

Hugz~
Bethy

[greenfairy]

something i learned years ago from a pdoc i was seeing is that some therapists, pdocs, psychologists, withhold diagnoses, or labels, because in giving what a person has a definite identification, it can cause more problems than it can cure. i think its called a self-fulfilling prophecy: the idea that if you believe you are something, you become it, because you believe its what you already are. i hope i'm explaining this better than i think i am because i dont want to confuse you. the point is that sometimes if we know exactly what our problems are we can learn more about how to approach them. but at the same time if we think we're fated to something, maybe we'll start making excuses for our behavior, or adapting new behaviors that fit the diagnoses.
if you feel its an important part of your treatment and healing process to know what they think is wrong with you, by all means, speak up. i think youre entitled to that much. and playing an active role in your therapy is very important. my friend rachel always says shes her own medical advocate. she always makes sure that she has input on her treatments. maintaining control can be very comforting. especially when life is so darn unpredictable.
i dont know if any of this helps, but i wish you best of luck in your therapy, and am sending big hugs your way.

[SweetSunshine]

Greenfairy~
That is exactly why my t witheld the dx from me last spring. I understand completely what you mean . And I want to learn about what is going on with me . So I can make things better and be better prepared .I dont feel they are helping me learn this. Helping me to see what to look for and how to handle the depression, mania all that. I NEED TOOLS ! My t told me that he thought I was a resourceful person that I was doing it on my own. Well gee what am I doing therapy for then? I need and want suggestions from him also. I mean I've been seeing him for almost 3 yrs now and I feel he knows me enough to help me implement things and to know what would help more. Thank you for your input. I am writing things down and am going to discuss it with him tomorrow. Thanks so much for your thoughts.

Hugz~
Bethy

[JustBen]

I can see both sides of this issue, but it is your diagnosis, so if you really want to hear it, you should demand it.

[SweetSunshine]

Ty Ben~
I think so too. How am I supposed to make informed decisions etc if I dont know what is going on with me! lol.

Hey guys .. Just a reminder here... not that I dont appreciate what your teling me and all... But I am looking for suggestions for new goals for my therapy plan. I am seeing things in what your saying .. but if you dont mind kinda keeping it to specifics.. That would be very helpful to me. Thanks again so much!

Hugz~
Bethy

You know yourself best. Anything I could sufgeest may not be right for you, or may not be something you like or are ready to do and so on. So instead of sufggestions of what I think you need to work on I give you this info to do what you want with. Take care.

Making goals for yourself is hard but I have found that accomplishing goals in therapy work better when I, the client comes up with the goals which it probably why my past therapist and present one say so what are we doing today?

For starter forget about the diagnosing bull they keep from you. They want to play that game let them do it between them. You don't need to know your diagnosis to do therapy work and set goals for yourself.

first decide why you are in therapy - a person who has never been diagnosed goes into therapy because they have problems they want to fix or something about themselves that they want to change. So pull out some paper and free write (don't pay attention to spelling grammar and so on just put down on paper why you want to be in therapy.

Then based on that short or long paragraph take what the problem is or the thing you dont like about youself and make it into a broad goal statement -

Example (not totally me but a combo of what I have heard over the years of attending support groups)

I dont know why I anm in therapy I dont know what to write this is so stupid how am i supposed to figure out what goals i want to work on they are the therapist they should be telling me thats what igo to them for thats what my insurance is for they are supposed to be helping me and no one is doing that and now they want me to come up with stupid goals yea right as if i am going to tell them i hate myself and that i want to die and i drink too much they find out i do drugs they will lock me up stupid i dont want to get locked up and i dont want to hurt any more either i hate having these thoughts and panic attacks im so stupid i cant even ride a bus without sufficating.....

Now list the problems that got revieled - those problems are your goals -

therapist fix me
First goal -a therapist cant fix me. I want to be more independant

hate myself
Goal 2 I want to like myself.

Suicidal
I don't like feeling like I want to die so I want to learn how to take care of my problems before they get to the point where I feel they can't be fixed except by my dieing.

drinking, drugs,
I want to stop or decrease the amount that I drink and use drugs.

panic attacks
I want to be able to do things without having a panic attack.

Once you have your broad goals during therapy or by yourself you can start making a plan that will enable you to do these things.

Broad goal 1: be more independant in therapy-
narrowed down goal ideas:
Go into therapy with a list of my problems and how I have tried to help myself with those problems that I have had this week..

research the area for community services and classes on my below listed problems - depression anxiety management classes, AA, NA, Drug and alcohol awareness programs. that way I am entering or not them not because she told me to but because I want to or not.

Broad goal 2 I want to like myself
Narrowed down goal ideas:
do activities that make me feel good
keep track of how many times I pput myself down
Change those down statements about myself to three positives

Broad goal 3 Suicidal
Narrowed down goal ideas:
Take depresion management class
take a suicide awareness class so that I can start recognizing my symptoms before they get to that acting on level.
gather emergency numbers of friends, community agencies, and therapist so that when I feel this way I always have someone to talk to.
volunteer on a suicide hot line

broad goal 4 -I want to decrease or stop my drinking and doing drugs
Narrowed down goal ideas:
enroll in AA
enroll in NA
enroll in community rehab agency
take alcohol and drugs awareness class

Broad goal 5: Panic attacks
Narrowed down goal ideas:
Depression anxiety classes
relaxation techniques

[SweetSunshine]

WOW! Dont know what to say here. Thanks for your thorough outline on what and how to go about this. Although I do disagree on the fact that I dont need to know my dx. But that aside.. Your informations and examples really wow'd me. Thanks so much!

Hugz~
Bethy

your welcome, glad I could help.

[SweetSunshine]

Please guys keep the suggestions coming !!! You see how I am here..Things I struggle with.. I would like some good honest suggestions on what I could do as far as making new goals . Thanks~ Bethy

[SweetSunshine]

Went to therapy today and we have planned to reevaluate my therapy plan next week . Writing up new goals etc. I got to look over my notes a bit today that my pdoc wrote . Confusing stuff!
I have become so frustrated with things that I basically blurted out today that if both my t and pdoc arent more open with me about my dx's and if they dont start helping me understand my dx and coping skills.. I will quit therapy.There's no sense in me being there if I dont feel I am making any progress. I think I shocked the heck out of my T ! I guess more than anything I wanted him to see how serious I am about all this.I want to be informed. I dont want to be left in the dark about things. I hate that.Thats how my family treats me. And I wont have it anymore.

I still would like more input if any of you have antyhing to suggest.
Thanks~
Bethy

[Junerain]

for tryin2beme,

have you considered keeping a journal? When you go to re-read what you wrote, you can begin to see a picture of where your illness is and perhaps can brainstorm where you want to be at. I keep an online journal, yet you could keep a regular one or both.

way to go.

the jopurnal idea of junerain's is a great one. I have a few different ones. A daily one that I free write, and then daily logs so that I can kkep track of how much things I want to change hppens and how what coping tool I am using to make those changes. For example in the self injury message board I started a chart of keeping track of what level of thoughts I was having and what I was doing to maintain a manageable level. That is the charting that I keep on a daily base here in my real life. I have a depression one, and an anxiety one too. Those two can be found in the book Mind Over Mood. I also have a log that I keep for my DID. All these I share with my therapist so that she can help me or suggest things that I am missing in them or that I can try. They come in real handy too for helping my therapist to better understand me, and see that I want to know what is going on so that I can fix it. By the way about not needing to know the diagnosis label. yes a person should always be told by their therapists and therapy treatment team what the DSM IV TR label is that they have. But I have found the label isnt important in taking care of my problems. See with or without knowing a label the person knows they have problems and can take care of that problem. I still float into my la la land and physically act out separated memories with or without being told that is called Dissociative Identity Disorder. And if I want to change that I can still pay attention to my surroundings and use relaxation techniques when I get upset so that I decrease the amount of time I spend floating in my la la land with out knowing I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. I can still keep track of how sad I am, how much I think about hurting myself, and do things to make this better without knowing this is called Depression and Self Injury. A person may WANT to know their DSM IV TR diagnosis, But they don't NEED it to take notice of how they feel and what they need to do to take care of it. A while ago my past therapist and I were thinking about having me retested to find out my level of DID now compared to my 10 of years ago. We even went to meet a DID tester here in town. My lawyer told me No, if we did the update testing DHS would have access to the results and he did not want my DID being disclosed. Because I wasnt able to get retested specifically for my DID level didn't mean I couldnt take care of my DID and work to get and keep my level down. I still don't know my exact level but I can still keep the chart of how often I find myself losing time, spacing off and so on. I don't NEED to know what that diagnostic test will reviel in order to know that I have gotten better and that what did it was keeping these journals, logs and charts and making up my own treatment goals based on what I see in my free writing that I want to change, But sometimes I would like to know. But its not important because I can still notice my feelings and set goals to take care of those feelings without knowing the update retest results.