[geez]

SOS! My dad is depressed and needs help. He's not taking any of his meds for his heart, blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, house is in foreclosure, filing for bankruptcy, he's about to have his car repo'd, 3 years behind in taxes, almost missed his car insurance payment, gambling addiction, was in the hospital for physical ailments as a result of not taking his meds - high blood pressure caused confusion (disoriented and almost had a stroke). Got in two car accidents in two days as a result of not taking his blood pressure meds. All of this I found out about two days ago including him going to the hospital - he's out now as of yesterday. I think he wants to not be here anymore and my brother and I are trying to get him some mental help. Do we get him to a psychologist vs. a psychiatrist? We think he needs some antidepressants and would a psychologist help with that? I know a psychiatrist can give meds but is there one that could fill a dual roll of therapist and prescriber of meds? My dad isn't one to speak of his emotions and I feel like we have one chance to get him help. He also has trauma from child hood (alcoholic father, neglect etc...)

[missbelle]

I don't know where you live but call adult protective if there is one in your area. Sometimes you can get the ph# from the abuse hotline. Just explain what is happening. Also the local social service might help but not just the little ones... call the adult social service thats listed under your county government. They will make a home visit and determine what can be done. You need to be extremly foreceful on the phone. When I lived in Florida and worked for the state, I had to even exagerate the problems to get them to come out. Unfortunately every state is different but Florida was wionderful .

Please do this immediately. I wish you luck. You may have to jump thru some hoops though but stay on it!

[elliemay]

With all of his health problems, a psychiatrist would be the appropriate choice IMO. There are psychiatrists that do therapy, but they are a rare breed indeed. Therefore, you may end up getting both a psychiatrist and a psychologist to help.

If he files bankruptcy, that will provide him with a certain measure of protection from most of his debts - especially the taxes. It may even help stop the foreclosure depending on what state you live in . I would definitely get moving on that.

Things always tend to boil up over the holidays. I will never understand that.

Good luck to you. Just remember, you can lead a horse to water but.....

What your father choses to do is ultimately up to him. You can not fix all of this for him.

Be sure that you take care of yourself first. It is only then that you can be of service to your father.

Peace

[pbutton]

I'd look for the county mental health crisis center.

[Perna]

His depression is probably due to his heart problems (happens all the time); talk to his primary care physician! He doesn't need mental help right now, he needs physical/medical care and someone to get a power of attorney and work on his financial/real world stuff.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...1015131515.htm

[stopdog]

Some places the division of aging is the govt resource for getting outside agency help. A power of attorney might be one way to help with the financial stuff, but consult an attorney to make sure your father and the potential poa understand the benefits and potential pitfalls. The life of a fiduciary is not a happy or easy one.

[geez]

Originally Posted by elliemay

With all of his health problems, a psychiatrist would be the appropriate choice IMO. There are psychiatrists that do therapy, but they are a rare breed indeed. Therefore, you may end up getting both a psychiatrist and a psychologist to help.

If he files bankruptcy, that will provide him with a certain measure of protection from most of his debts - especially the taxes. It may even help stop the foreclosure depending on what state you live in .

Just remember, you can lead a horse to water but.....

What your father choses to do is ultimately up to him. You can not fix all of this for him.

Be sure that you take care of yourself first. It is only then that you can be of service to your father.

Peace

Thank you for your thoughts ellie. When it comes to the foreclosure he has been planning to do this all along. He has the money to pay his mortgage but hasn't been doing so since June. Apparently he's 'planning for his future'. He figures if he ever ends up in a nursing home they would take his house as payment so he's giving up his house. I grew up in the house he lives in and it looks like an abandoned house on the inside. My kids have never stepped foot in the home nor will they on my accord.

Originally Posted by Perna

His depression is probably due to his heart problems (happens all the time); talk to his primary care physician! He doesn't need mental help right now, he needs physical/medical care and someone to get a power of attorney and work on his financial/real world stuff.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...1015131515.htm

Perna TY for the thoughts about depression. Unfortunately he's been depressed for as long as I've known him and before he went on heart meds. He was using gambling and other means to medicate himself etc...

Oh and he doesn't have a primary care physician. He moved his practice out of state and my dad hasn't bothered to get another dr! (my dad is 65 btw so he's 'with it').

Originally Posted by stopdog

A power of attorney might be one way to help with the financial stuff, but consult an attorney to make sure your father and the potential poa understand the benefits and potential pitfalls. The life of a fiduciary is not a happy or easy one.

I just had a conversation with my brother about making sure he does his homework before going for power of attorney... I'm guessing that what ever financial problems my dad has now becomes ours. My dad could care less and I'm feeling like I could care less as well. I feel like I need to protect myself from his 'garbage' while at the same time trying to help him at an arms length. I don't want to get My blood is boiling!!!

[CantExplain]

This is major crisis all right.

May I suggest you prioritise?

You might decide that physical health is the most urgent issue, and that there is no point in thinking about the finances until his mind is a bit clearer.

[geez]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

This is major crisis all right.

May I suggest you prioritise?

You might decide that physical health is the most urgent issue, and that there is no point in thinking about the finances until his mind is a bit clearer.

TY and right now we are thinking physical health is most urgent. He's was discharged from hospital last night and now he can't see out of one eye. He is going to go to a primary care dr. and I'm working on getting him a mental health professional. The theory we have is that if he's on anti depressants and goes to therapy perhaps he'll give a damn about his health/life. It's like he wants to die so he's giving up on everything. If we can get his depression under control then perhaps he will give a damn and actually take meds that have been prescribed for all his ailments etc....