[delicatefade26]

So I get a little newspaper thingy that I usually throw away-but I looked through it tonight and there were pictures of T's kids how random?! I was left with such a weird feeling after seeing them...T had told me he would bring in a pick for me but never did (it was just mentioned in passing) and I have seen his wife in person...but I had never seen the kids. so I had two different reactions-my first adult one was "aww they are so cute...the older ones looks a lot like T" then the little girl part of me was upset...these are the ones that get T's ultimate love and care...the ones he tucks in at night and hugs and kisses...and that just brings up a lot of hurtful things for her...I'm finding though the adult response is a lot stronger than I imagined...so I'm going to be proud of myself for being able to sort of these two emotions...and accept both! I think T would be proud of me too!!

[unaluna]

yeah, I go back and forth between feeling like i'm T's third kid, and being the kids' new stepmom! It's a tough fantasy, and i'm sure i'm not the only one who has it. But it's a promotion from being the 3rd dog - maybe! He LOVES his dogs!

[Perna]

Are you going to take the picture in to T and discuss your reaction?

[delicatefade26]

Perna I don't think I will bring in the pic or even really talk about the reaction...it feels too awkward to bring his kids into it like that...not appropriate maybe? We are already in the midst of talking about how hurtful it is to know he does things with his kids like I wished I had...so I think he knows I would have these two different responses anyways...also-my older self would be a big bully and shove down my litter girl part who is jealous lol ; )

[rainbow8]

I thought it would be inappropriate to talk about T's H but she said it was all right. After all it's about ME, not him. So it may be important for you to discuss your reaction to seeing his kids' pictures. I had extreme reactions when I saw T's H and kids' photos. I guess it's jealousy and fear. If she loves them, can she still 'love' me?

[delicatefade26]

Yeah I think maybe one day I would be able to get to that point...when I do I will for sure be posting in here for support!! ; )

[crazycanbegood]

i can't imagine how it would feel if my T had a family. I am glad she doesn't have kids or a H even! I was jealous of her boyfriend until they broke up.

[beautiful.mess]

I'm pretty sure my T isn't married or has kids (but then again, what do I know...) but even so; I'd be freaking out if I had to SEE them, whether in person or in a newspaper or something. My mind would automatically "go there".....why I had such a lousy childhood with a father completely opposite of my T.....being insanely jealous of his kids...or why couldn't I have been born to be T's child.

OUCH.

How awesome though, that the adult part of you managed to pull through for you this time!

[stopdog]

http://www.slate.com/articles/double..._the_kids.html

And there was a great article in Harper's magazine about being raised by therapists.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by delicatefade26

Perna I don't think I will bring in the pic or even really talk about the reaction...it feels too awkward to bring his kids into it like that...not appropriate maybe? We are already in the midst of talking about how hurtful it is to know he does things with his kids like I wished I had...

Sounds like the perfect time to bring it in and say how you feel about it.