[Adelissa]

This is kind of a repost of some stuff but I have some better informed questions.
1) What kind of therapist do I need who will discuss my past (childhood to present) in otherwords take my whole life into account in order to figure out who I am, what my issues are, what my baggage is and ultimately use those facts to help me strengthen my strengths and work on my weaknesses? My past therapist basically treated me like I had very little past before the latest depression took over and let me talk all the time and apparently this is the rogerian theory. I am tired of dealing with specific issues and want to focus on the overall pattern of my life that creates the issues or at least the way I respond to them. I want to know if my diagnoses are correct based on my lifelong pattern. I do have goals but they are not going to come to fruition if I don't change my standard pattern of living. I want to go deep and all my therapists so far are pretty superficial. I do have an almost suicide attempt in my history so I recognize the importance of daily life and keeping it under control so I don't want to do that again, but it seems like so many therapists are basically present focused and I think in large I have past issues that need to be resolved to wholly heal. The reason I think this kind of therapy would be good for me right now is my life is in a static place where nothing is really going to change for a few months and while I deal with those things I think we need to get to the heart of me and treat me like a whole person.
2)Homework I am the queen of rambling! If the therapist just lets me talk we won't have a focused session. I need to be either reminded to prep before session or given specific exercises to do each week/bimonthly (depending on how often we meet)
3) Goals-My last therapist was very goal oriented and basically wanted goals to work on and made me feel rushed, like she wanted us to be done with therapy soon just get the goal accomplished. I feel like I need maintenance therapy due to the fact that I am still very much in a depressed state, though some days are better than others. Right now this one therapist I am getting ready to work with is fully covered by insurance (I don't know how long though) and I want to bring up these issues and see if he can fulfill these and help me get to where I want to be.
I do have a goal of becoming my ideal weight and feeling comfortable enough to start dating but I am SOOOO not ready for that second one and the first one is one step forward two steps back, and then my depression came back in full form so things had to take a backseat to just staying alive so I don't really know what my goal would be right now except I do want to get a complete diagnosis of my issues (even if it isn't clinical diagnosis like depression bipolar etc, character traits I should be aware of like inability to commit (not that that is me but that is a common one I see on tv lol) stuff like that.
I know of a low income program at the university I graduated at that at the moment I can afford, It would be $25 per session and if I only go bimonthly I can afford $50 a month, and I think depending on how often you go you can qualify for some discounts even after that.So if this therapist doesn't work out I have another option. I do wish sometimes I could find online therapy because I am more articulate in typing than I am speaking but I want to try the two options above first.
Any responses will be helpful.

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by Adelissa

This is kind of a repost of some stuff but I have some better informed questions.
1) What kind of therapist do I need who will discuss my past (childhood to present) in otherwords take my whole life into account in order to figure out who I am, what my issues are, what my baggage is and ultimately use those facts to help me strengthen my strengths and work on my weaknesses? My past therapist basically treated me like I had very little past before the latest depression took over and let me talk all the time and apparently this is the rogerian theory. I am tired of dealing with specific issues and want to focus on the overall pattern of my life that creates the issues or at least the way I respond to them. I want to know if my diagnoses are correct based on my lifelong pattern. I do have goals but they are not going to come to fruition if I don't change my standard pattern of living. I want to go deep and all my therapists so far are pretty superficial. I do have an almost suicide attempt in my history so I recognize the importance of daily life and keeping it under control so I don't want to do that again, but it seems like so many therapists are basically present focused and I think in large I have past issues that need to be resolved to wholly heal. The reason I think this kind of therapy would be good for me right now is my life is in a static place where nothing is really going to change for a few months and while I deal with those things I think we need to get to the heart of me and treat me like a whole person.
2)Homework I am the queen of rambling! If the therapist just lets me talk we won't have a focused session. I need to be either reminded to prep before session or given specific exercises to do each week/bimonthly (depending on how often we meet)
3) Goals-My last therapist was very goal oriented and basically wanted goals to work on and made me feel rushed, like she wanted us to be done with therapy soon just get the goal accomplished. I feel like I need maintenance therapy due to the fact that I am still very much in a depressed state, though some days are better than others. Right now this one therapist I am getting ready to work with is fully covered by insurance (I don't know how long though) and I want to bring up these issues and see if he can fulfill these and help me get to where I want to be.
I do have a goal of becoming my ideal weight and feeling comfortable enough to start dating but I am SOOOO not ready for that second one and the first one is one step forward two steps back, and then my depression came back in full form so things had to take a backseat to just staying alive so I don't really know what my goal would be right now except I do want to get a complete diagnosis of my issues (even if it isn't clinical diagnosis like depression bipolar etc, character traits I should be aware of like inability to commit (not that that is me but that is a common one I see on tv lol) stuff like that.
I know of a low income program at the university I graduated at that at the moment I can afford, It would be $25 per session and if I only go bimonthly I can afford $50 a month, and I think depending on how often you go you can qualify for some discounts even after that.So if this therapist doesn't work out I have another option. I do wish sometimes I could find online therapy because I am more articulate in typing than I am speaking but I want to try the two options above first.
Any responses will be helpful.

I will say first that I think you need an eclectic therapist. My own T is eclectic which means she will use any theoretical approach needed. She tailors her therapy to the client. So my T uses a blend of person-centered (Rogerian), CBT, DBT, and pastoral therapy with a heaping dose of common sense. I am starting to work through my past now.

It sounds like you would respond to a blend of Rogerian, CBT, and psychoanalytic therapies. Good luck!

I second what chopin said. My T sounds very similar to hers (except he's a he). This has worked well for me, so your best bet is probably to avoid a T who specializes in one specific way of working. A lot of T's (at least in private practice) have websites where they describe their philosophy of therapy. If this isn't applicable, ask your new T what his approach is. Also, you described what you're looking for very well in your post. If you can just say that, I think you'll get your answers. Good luck!!!

[sunrise]

I think if you tell the potential therapist you would like to go deep and examine the past as well as the present, then he/she can tell you if he/she can accommodate you. Some Ts don't like to go deep so they would immediately be able to answer your question with a no, I don't do that. Good luck.

My T also uses an eclectic approach. Works for me