[mcl6136]

Tis the season.

I make all sorts of ludicrous holiday seasonal year end resolutions.

Nothing about the gymn. I actually like to exercise moderately and this is something I have never resolved to change.

Everything else, though, is on the table. It sickens me to think of the broken promises I've made to myself and how I have (sometimes) treated my therapy journey as another big fat resolution and the way that this often backfires on me and I end up having one more thing to beat myself up about. And life is just too short for that, year in and year out.

I was inspired to post this by a post from StopDog who noted that therapy could be what WE --not the Therapist-- wanted, given that we are paying for services..... This is not the usual way that I approach things, being an approval seeker and people pleaser, I have strived to get my therapists' approval and please my therapists. It hasn't worked very well. They can see right through it (the good ones, anyway!).

However, trusting the process of the therapy itself has led to amazing results for me, and not a few surprises and lots of joy and peace. Which is what I am after....after all.

So...I don't have a resolution for New Year's for therapy...do you? Others may have an entirely different approach, and I'd like to hear what your New Year's Therapy notions are. If you'd like to share.

Or not!

Blessings,

MCL

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

Tis the season.

I have strived to get my therapists' approval and please my therapists. It hasn't worked very well. They can see right through it (the good ones, anyway!).

A little off topic, but CRAP, I think I do this. I suppose I could ask T if he sees it too.

[Chopin99]

I don't have any resolutions either. My T likes to remind me that I am in charge. I am in control of my healing. I like that. Past T's have tried to tell me what I need to do. This T provides guidance, which is simply what I need to help myself get better. She cannot do it for me, I am responsible. Trust in the process is key to this.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by Chopin99

I don't have any resolutions either. My T likes to remind me that I am in charge. I am in control of my healing. I like that. Past T's have tried to tell me what I need to do. This T provides guidance, which is simply what I need to help myself get better. She cannot do it for me, I am responsible. Trust in the process is key to this.

that is my motto, as a matter of fact. I recently bought a book called Trust the Process by Shaun McNiff. It's about art therapy. I'm neither an artist nor therapist but found the title so compelling (and the price so right) that I purchased it and I'm having a ball with it!

Trust the process!

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by pbutton

A little off topic, but CRAP, I think I do this. I suppose I could ask T if he sees it too.

You should see me! It's kinda gross...the way I act ingratiating, how I am always on time, always pay exactly the same amount at exactly the same time in the therapy session and felt guilty about taking a few weeks off for the holidays from therapy...sheesh! I try to get the "right" answer to the questions, and cast myself in the best possible light, and even twist the stories of my life in order to appear capable or resourceful...I am quite an editor of my life experience. I even dress up for therapy! Crap is right!

Some of this behavior clearly does not serve me well in therapy, but give me that interview for that dream job....well, you get the (embarrassing) picture.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

that is my motto, as a matter of fact. I recently bought a book called Trust the Process by Shaun McNiff. It's about art therapy. I'm neither an artist nor therapist but found the title so compelling (and the price so right) that I purchased it and I'm having a ball with it!

Trust the process!

Does this book by chance explain what the process is? (she asks with hope)

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Does this book by chance explain what the process is? (she asks with hope)

It talks about the act of making art....allowing yourself to yield to what the art is about, how it is made, what it reveals. It's good....if you paint or sculpt or do some other artistic discipline. With regard to therapy, it says little and is quite opaque, actually.

So...no....bummer, eh?

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

It talks about the act of making art....allowing yourself to yield to what the art is about, how it is made, what it reveals. It's good....if you paint or sculpt or do some other artistic discipline. With regard to therapy, it says little and is quite opaque, actually.

So...no....bummer, eh?

Bummer indeed.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

It sickens me to think of the broken promises I've made to myself and how I have (sometimes) treated my therapy journey as another big fat resolution and the way that this often backfires on me and I end up having one more thing to beat myself up about. And life is just too short for that, year in and year out.

That's why I don't usually make resolutions. Just opening the door to failure. I tend to just try to work on something without making an official resolution out of it.

So I don't have a resolution for therapy for the new year, but I do have a general tendency I am following right now. That is to allow therapy to be more practical. To let myself work on practical, day-to-day, even mundane stuff in therapy, without feeling that it is not suitable. I'm not going to let myself get hung up on that anymore. If T thinks I'm bringing unsuitable topics to him, I'll depend on him to let me know. Last session, we talked about super practical stuff, and T was really open to it. (See, it is OK!! I say to myself.) And I'm going to allow myself to be forward thinking. Instead of being "in the now" or delving into the past in therapy, I'm going to allow myself to think of the future and where I want to go and what I want to be part of my life that is now missing.

I guess those sound like resolutions, but they're really not.

[granite1]

i never make resolutions at all.i am terrified of expectations and know i would fail.i dont bother .i tend to be happier that way